Wednesday, October 19, 2011

How to Scramble Eggs

The temptation was too great. A few months ago, I was at the 99cent Store, and it called to me- the Clever Cracker- the ultimate unitasker (or no-tasker as I came to learn). Besides, it was only 99.9 cents. A bargain, it retails for over fifteen dollars. Dear reader, I bought it.

Here, in a few simple steps is how to make scrambled eggs, helped along with the wonder gadget, the Clever Cracker/Scrambler.

First, find a battery to go into the Clever Scrambler. After you take out a battery from one of the kids' flashlights, you open the Scrambler and realize that you will need a second battery. Fiddle with the channel changer for awhile to 'borrow' another battery (you will forget and throw out this battery - a big no-no- when you throw away this worthless gadget after this experiment in complicating the simplest of activities).

Carefully place a fresh egg onto the Scrambler's needle. Don't be distracted by your sweet children surrounding you and then impale your finger.

Turn on the Scrambler and wait for thirty seconds or so. Give it to each child so they can experience the wonder that is the must be really scrambled by now....

Place the scrambled egg into the Clever Cracker (razor-blade cutter not photographed) and prepare to crack the egg over a bowl with grated cheese.

Crack the egg. Notice that the egg is not in the least pre-scrambled. The only 'success' is that the Clever Cracker did not drop eggshells into the bowl.

Use a fork to scramble the egg and add some milk (only use half and half or cream if you have a bit leftover from PW's latest recipe)

Pour the well-scrambled mixture onto a hot frying pan. Here, I am using a cast iron skillet with a bit of grapeseed oil. Let it sit a bit. 

Add a bit of salt and pepper. Fold the scrambled egg when it begins to look a little puffy ('Pie Near' would put in a joke about PW here...but I'm too 'nice').

Eat up! and then tell your kids- whether you are a 'tea party' type, an 'occupy' type, or somewhere in is sick and wrong to spend even 99 cents on a piece of semi-slave labor plastic like the 'Clever Cracker' in order to do the easiest of kitchen tasks- breaking an egg and beating it with a fork before frying it. I know I labeled this post 'not so serious'- but I am serious about abolishing anything from my life that is neither beautiful or useful. 


  1. It is amazing the things that people will come up with. Seriously, if you can't scramble an egg then you don't need to be in the kitchen!

  2. I think your teapot is beautiful.

  3. HaHAH!! Is that a new teakettle? -F

  4. The teapot was bought when littlest sis came down to help when baby girl was having out in the NICU. Sis said "it is just tacky/old fashioned enough to be ironic." So I have an ironic kettle

  5. I love the teapot as well!

    And do you know of Alton Brown? From the show Good Eats? Funny enough, my husband really loves Alton Brown and it has made cooking cool to him (he mixes alot of science with cooking and baking) Anyways, he always says never buy anything that only has one function in the kitchen. So even an apple slicer would be off limits because that is the only thing it can do (even though I like apple slicers, I get his point)Leaves you with less clutter and less to wash. My husband now takes that bit of advice very seriously so he would totally throw me out if I came home with the Clever Cracker ;) (So funny by the way. At least it was only 99 cents!!)

  6. Not really about the bizarro egg-scrambler, but it took me to your blog, which is lovely, and so I am grateful. I read some of your other posts about church, and I am smitten! This is a lovely place, and I know so little about Byzantine life, it's wonderful to read here. Thank you.

  7. Jenny- Thanks for stopping by!

    Kayleen- I think the apple slicer would count as a useful unitasker- it is small and useful- and would lead to less waste because you can quickly give apple slices to however many kids you have--- but this egg thing wasn't even worth 99 cents!

  8. I must object ! I bought my Clever Cracker for the full retail price of $15. I use it every day and have found it to be the most useful item I have ever purchased. I think you must have NOT followed the well written instructions precisely. It would have been a bargain at $30 and I plan on buying another one as a backup !!

  9. Anonymous- thanks for your strong opinion- a little controversy is what this blog needs!


  10. What a funny story. So hilarious that the egg wasn't one bit scrambled! I once bought a gadget for making "perfect" microwave soft-boiled eggs. Not.

  11. Leila- ***fan-girl-blush*** thanks for stopping by; it's comforting to know that great moms make mistakes too

  12. Step Away from the gadget was great for how not to make scrambled eggs with the Clever Cracker.

  13. i'd be making an omelet right now if i wasn't allergic to eggs. :p


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