The temptation was too great. A few months ago, I was at the 99cent Store, and it called to me- the Clever Cracker- the ultimate unitasker (or no-tasker as I came to learn). Besides, it was only 99.9 cents. A bargain, it retails for over fifteen dollars. Dear reader, I bought it.
Here, in a few simple steps is how to make scrambled eggs, helped along with the wonder gadget, the Clever Cracker/Scrambler.
First, find a battery to go into the Clever Scrambler. After you take out a battery from one of the kids' flashlights, you open the Scrambler and realize that you will need a second battery. Fiddle with the channel changer for awhile to 'borrow' another battery (you will forget and throw out this battery - a big no-no- when you throw away this worthless gadget after this experiment in complicating the simplest of activities).
Carefully place a fresh egg onto the Scrambler's needle. Don't be distracted by your sweet children surrounding you and then impale your finger.
Turn on the Scrambler and wait for thirty seconds or so. Give it to each child so they can experience the wonder that is the Scrambler.....it must be really scrambled by now....
Place the scrambled egg into the Clever Cracker (razor-blade cutter not photographed) and prepare to crack the egg over a bowl with grated cheese.
Crack the egg. Notice that the egg is not in the least pre-scrambled. The only 'success' is that the Clever Cracker did not drop eggshells into the bowl.
Use a fork to scramble the egg and add some milk (only use half and half or cream if you have a bit leftover from PW's latest recipe)
Pour the well-scrambled mixture onto a hot frying pan. Here, I am using a cast iron skillet with a bit of grapeseed oil. Let it sit a bit.
Add a bit of salt and pepper. Fold the scrambled egg when it begins to look a little puffy ('Pie Near' would put in a joke about PW here...but I'm too 'nice').
Eat up! and then tell your kids- whether you are a 'tea party' type, an 'occupy' type, or somewhere in between....it is sick and wrong to spend even 99 cents on a piece of semi-slave labor plastic like the 'Clever Cracker' in order to do the easiest of kitchen tasks- breaking an egg and beating it with a fork before frying it. I know I labeled this post 'not so serious'- but I am serious about abolishing anything from my life that is neither beautiful or useful.