Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Old-fashioned, traditional marriage advice from a 4th century celibate

Pick Virtue Rather than Riches When Selecting a Good Husband
First, look for a husband who will really be a husband and a protector; remember that you are placing a head on a body. When your daughter is to be married, don’t look for how much money a man has. Don’t worry about his nationality or his family’s social position […] When you are satisfied that the man is virtuous and decide what day they will be married, beseech Christ to be present at the wedding. He is not ashamed to come for marriage is an image of His presence in the Church. Even better than this: pray that your children will each find such a virtuous spouse; entrust this concern of yours into His hands. If you honor Him in this way, He will return honor for honor.
Advice on How to Pick a Wife
Since we know all this, let us seek just one thing in a wife, virtue of soul and nobility of character, so that we may enjoy tranquility, so that we may luxuriate in harmony and lasting love. The man who takes a rich wife takes a boss rather than a wife. If even without wealth women are with pride and prone to the love of fame, if they have wealth in addition, how will their husbands be able to stand them? The man, however, who takes a wife of equal position or poorer than himself takes a helper and ally and brings every blessing into his house. Her own poverty forces her to care for her husband with great concern, to yield to him and obey him in everything. It removes every occasion of strife, battle, presumption, and pride. It binds the couple in peace, harmony, love, and concord. Let us not, therefore, seek to have money, but to have peace, in order to enjoy happiness. Marriage does not exist to fill our houses with war and battles, to give us strife and contention, to pit us against each other and make our life unlivable. It exists in order that we may enjoy another’s help, that we may have a harbor, a refuge, and a consolation in troubles which hang over us, and that we may converse happily with our wife. How many wealthy men who have taken rich wives and increased their substance have yet destroyed their happiness and harmony, as they contend in daily battles at table? How many poor men who have taken poorer wives now enjoy peace and look upon each day’s  sun with joy? 
(Chrysostom, St. John. On Marriage and Family Life. Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 1986)
Does this advice still hold true or do we moderns know better? 

Monday, January 15, 2018

be pro-life- smile at a mom & her screaming toddler

Pro-lifers are readying themselves for the annual March for Life  Different groups are doing different things, but prayer and demonstrations seem to be the popular manifestations for this time.  
If we say that we are pro-life- let's mean it and show this with our actions! Prayer is a beautiful thing, but maybe that mom needs your help with opening that door- she has 2 kids in her arms.  Please don't joke that that family needs a television; it's insulting and anti-life. Bring a meal to welcome the newest addition and have your teenager mow their lawn- with permission, of course. Hand-me-down clothes are very welcome, but check the clothing for rips and stains. If Goodwill wouldn't sell it, the local big family down the street probably wouldn't wear it to Mass. And perhaps above all, have mercy with little children that are squirmy at church. I guarantee you- the parents are doing their best to wrangle those kids.  They woke up, got the kids ready and out the door when the majority of Americans were still abed. They are in church, trying to instill in their children all the values of Christianity. Give that harried mom a smile as she takes a screaming  three-year old out of Mass. Invite them to your table at coffee and doughnuts. Make that super-sized family (in most parts of the US, any family with over 2 or 3 kids- not applicable to Franciscan U and TAC areas) welcome.

How in the world can inviting a big family to your coffee and doughnut table be pro-life, you ask? We need to build a culture of life where children are welcome. We need to make it easier for a family to have that next kid (perhaps through lower taxation?). Did you know that 60% of abortions are performed on women who are already mothers? (source- the blog "And Sometimes Tea") Prayer is essential, but action is too. If all pro-lifers were active in doing pro-life prayer and work (making meals, knitting booties, working at a soup kitchen, calling a new mom, mowing lawns, painting fences, fixing vans, babysitting for nothing or nominal fees, whatever is appropriate to the stage in life and ability or talent), we would make it less scary for these moms to welcome life even in difficult moments.

meet Anthony: computer geek, theology professor, Greek Catholic

How did you become interested in Eastern Catholicism?  Were you raised Eastern Catholic?
I was raised in the Roman Catholic faith.  I attended a Catholic school, and served as an altar boy.  While I was in elementary school, though, I had a transformative experience. My parents took me to a wedding at a Greek Catholic parish, and I was struck by the beauty and sense of sacredness.  Like the envoys sent to Constantinople by St. Vladimir, I didn’t know whether I was in heaven or on earth.  This moment changed the entire trajectory of my life.
As it happened, my next-door neighbor – a boy my age – was Greek Catholic.  I would sometimes attend Divine Liturgy with his family.  The liturgy had such a profound effect on me that I would literally dream about it at night.
When I graduated from college, I joined a Greek Catholic parish and officially transferred to the Byzantine Rite.
How did your family react to your change of rite?
They were very supportive.  They knew that I wasn’t rejecting the Catholic faith that they instilled in me, but was embracing it in a different form.
I absolutely love Roman Catholicism.  I have so much appreciation for everything that the Latin tradition offers.  I never rejected it.  Rather, I was called to serve God by building up and promoting the “Eastern Lung” of the Catholic Church.  I believe that a strong, vibrant Eastern Christian presence within the Catholic Church will lead to a stronger, healthier Roman Catholicism.
How did you become a theologian?
In college I studied Philosophy and Religion.  I realized that I love teaching people about the Catholic faith, and wanted to pursue a career as a theology professor.   I went on to graduate studies in Theology at Franciscan University.  
Upon finishing my master’s degree, I was accepted into the doctorate program in theology at Duquesne University.  While in this program, I had the opportunity to focus my studies on my true passion: Eastern Christianity.  My dissertation director was Father Michael Slusser, a patristics scholar with a profound understanding of the Greek Fathers and the Eastern Christian theological tradition.  I learned so much from working with him on my dissertation, which was a study entitled Adrian Fortescue and the Eastern Christian Churches.  It was later published as a book by Gorgias Press.
I also had the pleasure of taking classes at SS. Cyril and Methodius Byzantine Catholic Seminary.  One of the professors, Father David Petras, had a tremendous impact on me.  Father David served on my dissertation committee, and taught me a great deal about liturgy and ecumenism.  I also became friends with a Ukrainian Catholic priest who served in Ireland, Archimandrite Serge Kelleher of blessed memory.  Father Serge was very wise, and taught me what it really means to be an Eastern Christian in communion with Rome – with the challenges that it entails.
After completing my doctorate, I was blessed with my dream job.  I teach theology at a small Catholic college in central Pennsylvania, Mount Aloysius.  I go to work and teach people about God, and I love every minute of it.  
Do you have any hobbies?  What do you do when you’re not teaching theology?
I spend a lot of time with my family, raising two wonderful children.  My wife, Vanessa is a life-long Greek Catholic, and she has a deep love for the faith.  Vanessa’s grandmother was a cantor who spent her life serving the church, and Vanessa seeks to follow her example.
For fun, I enjoy working with computers.  I have several websites that I design and manage.  One of the websites, From East to West, is dedicated to teaching Western Christians about Eastern Catholicism.  
My other primary website, Mythic Scribes, is a community of fantasy writers.  I love reading and writing fantasy fiction, and Mythic Scribes is a wonderful place to explore that interest.

Many thanks to Dr. Anthony Dragani for sharing! 
do you want to share your spiritual journey? Email me at! 

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Celebrating & Strengthening Christian Marriage- start your life together in holiness

Let your prayers be common. Let each go to Church; and let the husband ask his wife at home, and she again ask her husband, the account of the things which were said and read there. If any poverty should overtake you, cite the case of those holy men, Paul and Peter, who were more honored than any kings or rich men; and yet how they spent their lives, in hunger and in thirst. Teach her that there is nothing in life that is to be feared, save only offending against God. If any marry thus, with these views, he will be but little inferior to monks; the married but little below the unmarried.
If you have a mind to give dinners, and to make entertainments, let there be nothing immodest, nothing disorderly. If you should find any poor saint able to bless your house, able only just by setting his foot in it to bring in the whole blessing of God, invite him. And shall I say moreover another thing? Let no one of you make it his endeavor to marry a rich woman, but much rather a poor one. When she comes in, she will not bring so great a source of pleasure from her riches, as she will annoyance from her taunts, from her demanding more than she brought, from her insolence, her extravagance, her vexatious language. For she will say perhaps, I have not yet spent anything of yours, I am still wearing my own apparel, bought with what my parents settled upon me. What do you say, O woman? Still wearing your own! And what can be more miserable than this language? Why, you have no longer a body of your own, and have you money of your own? 

After marriage you are no longer two, but have become one flesh, and are then your possessions two, and not one? Oh! This love of money! You both have become one man, one living creature; and do you still say my own? Cursed and abominable word that it is, it was brought in by the devil. Things far nearer and dearer to us than these has God made all common to us, and are these then not common? We cannot say, my own light, my own sun, my own water: all our greater blessings are common, and are riches not common? Perish the riches ten thousand times over! Or rather not the riches, but those tempers of mind which know not how to make use of riches, but esteem them above all things.

Teach her these lessons also with the rest, but with much graciousness. For since the recommendation of virtue has in itself much that is stern, and especially to a young and tender damsel, whenever discourses on true wisdom are to be made, contrive that your manner be full of grace and kindness. And above all banish this notion from her soul, of mine and yours. If she say the word mine, say unto her, What things do you call yours? For in truth I know not; I for my part have nothing of my own. How then do you speak of 'mine,' when all things are yours? Freely grant her the word. Do you not perceive that such is our practice with children? When, while we are holding anything, a child snatches it, and wishes again to get hold of some other thing, we allow it, and say, Yes, and this is yours, and that is yours. The same also let us do with a wife; for her temper is more or less like a child's; and if she says mine, say, why, everything is yours, and I am yours. Nor is the expression one of flattery, but of exceeding wisdom. Thus will you be able to abate her wrath, and put an end to her disappointment. For it is flattery when a man does an unworthy act with an evil object: whereas this is the highest philosophy. 

'The husband has not power over his own body, but the wife.' 1 Corinthians 7:4 If I have no power over my body, but you have, much more have you over my possessions. By saying these things you will have quieted her, you will have quenched the fire, you will have shamed the devil, you will have made her more your slave than one bought with money, with this language you will have bound her fast. Thus then, by your own language, teach her never to speak of mine and yours. And again, never call her simply by her name, but with terms of endearment, with honor, with much love. Honor her, and she will not need honor from others; she will not want the glory that comes from others, if she enjoys that which comes from you. Prefer her before all, on every account, both for her beauty and her discernment, and praise her. You will thus persuade her to give heed to none that are without, but to scorn all the world except yourself. Teach her the fear of God, and all good things will flow from this as from a fountain, and the house will be full of ten thousand blessings. 

If we seek the things that are incorruptible, these corruptible things will follow. For, says He, seek first His kingdom, and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33 What sort of persons, think you, must the children of such parents be? What the servants of such masters? What all others who come near them? Will not they too eventually be loaded with blessings out of number? For generally the servants also have their characters formed after their master's, and are fashioned after their humors, love the same objects, which they have been taught to love, speak the same language, and engage with them in the same pursuits. If thus we regulate ourselves, and attentively study the Scriptures, in most things we shall derive instruction from them. And thus shall be able to please God, and to pass through the whole of the present life virtuously, and to attain those blessings which are promised to those that love Him, of which God grant that we may all be counted worthy, through the grace and lovingkindness of our Lord Jesus Christ, with Whom, together with the Holy Ghost, be unto the Father, glory, power, and honor, now, and ever, through all ages. Amen.
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