Thursday, July 19, 2012

Ask Priest's Wife....Quick Takes

Happy almost-end-of-July! I wanted to get to know the readership of this little piece of the blogosphere so I made a survey- you can still take it!- I posted the results of the first portion yesterday...but today and next week's quick takes will be devoted to some of the random questions you wanted me to answer. I'm going to really quickly answer all of the questions. Some might be inspiration to write a long post in the here is the first half...
Why did you put yourself in this position?
I asked God to give me a husband who would be the spiritual head of the household!
What do you believe is the best way to evangelize a church?
"Preach the gospel at all times; when necessary, use words"- people need to see God's love in action
Could we have tea? It would be nice to know you personally.
I'm still mourning the closure of 'my' tearoom, so I'd love to have a cuppa
What is your favorite meal to make for Sunday dinner?
I usually don't know when I am getting home (maybe 3, maybe 7) from church, so I usually make soup or stew in the crockpot. For a Sunday that is 'easy' (meaning we don't have extra things to do after services), I prepare chicken soup, chicken schnitzel, mashed potatoes and vegetables or another 'old country' meal like cabbage rolls and polenta. If we ate at church, we might just have smoothies or something when we get home. Unfortunately, we don't have a set Sunday routine, but we are always together.
If you could pray for my husband, who believes he should not become a priest because he does not think he can sing
I'll pray for him- but you might gently tell him that it is prideful for him to shut out God that way- he should ask his bishop and perhaps he will hear AXIOS in the future (but maybe not)- and if he has a deacon working with him, he doesn't need to sing very much ;)
What is your perception of latinizations, since you do come from a Latin background?
I think they stem from our feelings of inferiority and bad catechesis. There is nothing wrong with a Byzantine Catholic or Orthodox praying the rosary, but it shouldn't be at the expense of the Akathist (one example)
How could we improve understanding between Latin-rite and Eastern-rite communities?
We need to respect one another's traditions. Also, we should visit each other and force ourselves to learn the Church's true diversity. Big churches (usually Latin) can support a small parish by letting them use the space.
Do you feel that the parish family is helpful and supportive of the priest's family? Are there any specific things they do to show support, or could they do better in some respects? Do you feel like you're under a microscope being the priest's wife? (Three things asked - thanks! and God Bless You, priest-husband, and your children.)
I know that the parish loves us. They do what they can, being so small. We have someone who fixed the pipes (more than once), another who painted the downstairs while we were gone, and another who babysat for a few days when I was in the ICU after having the last baby. We could work on positive boundaries; I want to buy my daughter's birthday cake, for example. And yes, I am under a microscope.
Can your husband forgive your sins? Do you have to go to confession or could he grant you absolution every night before bed (for instance)?
NO! I mean, he could if it were some horrible emergency. In general, priests don't hear the confessions of those he is really close to. My Latin-rite sister hated that the last time she went to an anonymous-style confessional, the priest (her favorite) recognized her voice and said he knew it was she. It is better for everyone that priest-husbands do not hear the confessions of their wives.
Don't really have a question, just want to say thank you for always giving me something to think about. God bless you and your family!
Were you on your path to Eastern Catholicism before meeting your husband or is this one of the happy consequences of life?
Both? I was lucky to be in Central Europe for four years after college graduation. That is where I learned about the other rites of the Church. Learning about the persecuted Church and then meeting my future husband made me fall in love with the Byzantine rite. It has only been 28 years Catholic and 15 years specifically Byzantine, so I am still learning.
Do you feel the need to be almost perfect all the time?
hmm...yes, I feel the need to be perfect, but I don't do very much to be perfect. I wish I were more type-A, but I'm not. I would rather curl up with a cup of tea and a good book (only sometimes theological).
What's the best occasion for a Roman-Rite to visit the Byzantines?
I suggest that you visit on a Sunday that is 'ordinary.' Most likely, the church will not be packed like it might be on a major feast day. The Liturgy will not be as long as Easter or Christmas. You'll see the faithful parishioners who might take you under their wing. Be certain to get a Mass book (the service is different than what you are used to).
where oh where is my camera? (not that I expect you to know, of course, it's just that I lost it this morning and now I'm frittering away my afternoon on the internet for distraction because it's better than crying...$450 and two weeks' worth of shooting - gone astray)
I hope you found your camera! :(
Advice for keeping a Byzantine-type Lent?
Look to your right and click on the labels fasting, food and lent
Do we get to see the results of the survey?
Yes- read yesterdays post!
I'll write answers to the rest of the questions next week- so take the survey here if you want to participate!


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. I have to wonder what you were going to say ;)

    2. Sorry, I forget. I may have inadvertently hit the wrong key.

  2. Oh, that thing about the birthday cakes would make me nuts. :)

    1. thanks kathleen! for some reason cake=drama for a few of the parishioners....

  3. Being type-A is not all it's cracked up to be. I'm type-AAAA and it means that I put an enormous load of stress on myself that is not necessary at all. My parishioners are trying to get me to relax -- how often does that happen in the church?!?!?!?


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