Sunday, July 28, 2013

I doubt that Fr Z, Mark Shea or Simcha Fisher cry themselves to sleep...

Yes, this is going to be one of those blog posts, a post where the blogger tells a story about why blogging is getting to be a major downer. She decides to take a step back from blogging because the blog is not what she wants it to be. She, trying to be anonymous so she can represent generalities, hurts someone in the real world with her written words. 
Remember my blog post "My Feather Pillow" where I wrote about someone hurting me without confronting me directly? I finally left a message on this person's phone. It took me months to get the courage to try and talk. A week later, there is no communication between us, but I am happy that I tried to make peace.

I am pathologically afraid of confrontation. I cannot think of a time when I have said to a friend, "It hurt me when you said people who eat hamburgers are killing the planet when you know that I like a burger now and then. It seems like you were making a personal dig at me" (see- I can't even write a decent possible example of a mature disagreement/discussion!). 

Well, I wrote something lately that hurt a friend. It probably wouldn't have hurt this friend if I had confronted the person directly with what was hurting me, but I chose to hide behind this blog and process something that was bothering me. 

I guess this is why I preemptively put that clip art of 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner,' knowing that writing anything on an open blog is going to reveal me as a hypocrite. 

So, yes, I am going to be taking a step back. This blog cannot be an interesting expose of the life of a priest's wife because there isn't that much to say and I need to preserve his dignity as a Catholic priest (I do beg forgiveness when my humanness has gotten the better of me). And it won't be and hasn't been an intellectual exercise in educating the world on Catholicism and Eastern Christianity. I don't have the education and the time to write well-documented and intellectually-stimulating posts. For that purpose, you will find some efficacious links at In Union with Rome. 

24 comments:

  1. You will be missed. I do understand. I find it harder to keep my Ranting Catholic Mom blog going. in my case, I the level of ranting is tiresome!

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  2. I will miss your blog posts, Priest's Wife, which I've never found anything but thoughtful and compassionate.

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  3. I took the last five years of from blogging because I had nothing to say. I understand although I don't share your aversion to conflict.

    I've found your blog very helpful particularly as my wife and I adjust to life among Byzantines. :-)

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  4. I'm pretty sure all three of them have had nights that led to less than perfect sleep because of something that was written. In fact, I know that both Mark Shea and Simcha Fisher have had times when people have wanted their heads for something they wrote.

    Don't be too hard on yourself. Falling on your sword and apologizing is part of life and makes you more human and more approachable on your blog.

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  5. I hope you will come back. I will pray for you and your family. Many people care for you and them and think you are a fine person.

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  6. Don't go too far away! Hopefully you'll hang around the twitterverse for a bit. And don't forget the Eleventh Prayer: "O Mother of God, my most holy Lady! By your holy and all-powerful prayers drive away from me despair, forgetfulness, misunderstanding, and carelessness. By your mighty prayers cleanse my clouded mind and bruised heart of all this. Help me quench the fire of evil passions. Free me from memories of evils long gone by. For you are blessed by all peoples and your glorious name is praised, now and ever, and forever. Amen.

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  7. Chime on Kh. Jen. Other bloggers and staff writers at "National Catholic Register" have had their share of angry posters about something they wrote at one time or another. Same at catholicexchange.com.

    As a Latin/Roman rite Catholic, your blog has been helpful to me learning about the Eastern rite and deepening my knowledge of the church.

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  8. Please don't go away too long! Like Elisa, I am a Roman rite Catholic who has greatly enjoyed learning more about the beautiful universality and diversity in our faith. I understand about your feelings about conflict. That's why blog is anonymous too. It let's me say some things I would never have the courage to say if people knew me. Not to slander anyone but I would be too shy to share my true feelings. I will pray for your peace!

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  9. Will miss this...

    One the other hand, there's a spot for you at Tone Nine News if you're interested!

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  10. This is just too much, too sad. I recently managed to talk a priest's kid friend out of shutting down her Facebook account because someone was causing trouble her grief over it.

    I don't have the energy tonight to do the same for you. Suffice it to say that real life pain takes time, more than anything, to heal. We'd rather have you with us while the time passes then think of you facing it alone and isolated.

    I'll never forget that it was my husband, searching for ways to help me prepare pre-Ordination, that discovered this blog and this community for me... It (your writing) means a lot.

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  11. People can be very hurtful in the blog world. Many times I have wanted to delete Facebook and quit my blog. It becomes at times a high school atmosphere. However, when I did make that decision my priest asked me not to. He said that people can be changed by the spirituality that I share. Maybe you should reconsider you never know who you might help to love God. The master said it would not be easy in serving him. You obviously have a skill in sharing and this might be one way God works through you.

    1peter 4:12-13
    “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you: But rejoice, inasmuch as you are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, you may be glad also with exceeding joy”.

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    1. Yes, Ric. I always think "for to this you were called"...

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  12. I hope it's a short break! I enjoy following your blog and have learned a lot.

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  13. I doubt that Fr Z, Mark Shea or Simcha Fisher cry themselves to sleep…

    Who cares. We each have our place and our vocation. They don't talk about Catholic homeschooling with first hand experience as you do. I wish you would reconsider. Your blog provides valuable information. And no one expects you to be perfect. If you feel you offended someone, apologize and carry on.

    Sincerely,

    De Maria

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  14. I'm not even Catholic, and probably am best described as an ecumenical, but I've enjoyed your blog and learned a lot from it. Thank you, and I hope things smooth out in your life.

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  15. I am sorry about your fear of confrontation. I have a huge fear of driving on the highway, so I know how it is to have a huge fear that doesn't "make sense" but is there anyway. I will pray for peace and rest for you!! I will also miss you. I have so appreciated your thoughtful approach to so many topics others would not bother to address at all. And I find myself nodding in agreement as I read. You sound like a dear woman, devoted wife and mom, and genuine person. I wish I knew you in real life. Again, I'll miss you. Stay away as long as you need... but come back soon! We'll be waiting for you. :)

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  16. P.S. ~ Surely everyone cries themselves to sleep sometimes?? I know I do, although I suppose my friends and even my husband might be surprised to know that... It is all part of this valley of tears.

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  17. I really relate to your blog for so many reasons. I often think that is no one is annoyed about something I am doing or saying I'm not doing it right. If you take a break, I do hope you come back. peace

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  18. I found your blog 2 years ago during my internet search to learn more about the Eastern Catholic faith...I enjoy reading it very much, and yours is the only blog I read. I admire you for being a devoted Christian woman, wife, and mother, and professional teaching college students as well. Your writing is excellent and I feel it reveals your essential goodness, and makes me reflect on many things. This kind of writing us hard to find these days! If you take a break from writing this blog, don't stay away too long! I've had my own experiences of 'open mouth, insert foot' -- who hasn't? As long as nobody died as a result, I'm betting that reconciliation with the offended person is possible. Please consider this incident as merely the bump in the road that it is. Now, you take good care of yourself! And, don't forget to write!

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  19. You could always redirect and regroup.

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  20. You know, you shouldn't cry yourself to sleep either. Because you are doing nothing wrong, and you are an important voice in the blogosphere.

    Hevel, your ex-Catholic, ex-Mormon, very Jewish, very not believing, pro-choice, gay reader, who very much enjoys learning from your blog

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  21. You can't go away forever. Not a chance. Even though the people running a Catholic hospital where your husband would like to work think that Byzantine Catholic isn't under the Pope. There is so much confusion in our Church. You are doing such a wonderful job as wife of a priest most of all and the stresses that goes with it. God Bless you and yours.

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