I've been thinking of 'being authentic while blogging' lately. I think that trying to write somewhat anonymously (my family and some friends know about my blog as does a priest-monk who I wish could be my spiritual director)- because I don't speak officially for my eparchy or the Church- makes me seem like a fake. Maybe, you think, this priest's wife is really writing like Suri. No, I would make my life much more interesting if I were not really married to a Catholic priest. Our life is pretty mundane, and it shows in this blog.
I'll get over it; I promise: to the commenter who wrote that there is "something not quite right about me" and concluded that it must be because my husband is a "liberal"- No, I think that we all have something not quite right about ourselves; this is concupiscence. It manifests itself in different ways with different people. I suppose bloggers are making their foibles public and are 'asking for' criticism.
But then, I could drive myself crazy blogging & trying to be all things to all people. Am I cool enough so that people can see the Church as a viable addition to their hipster lifestyles? Am I conservative enough so as not to scandalize a traditional person (well- the Sound of Music is out)? Am I Eastern enough so that my tradition is better understood? Am I Western enough so as not to alienate the majority of the readers? Does my part-timer job and use of a charter school make me a fake stay-at-home mom and homeschooler? Do the cheese crunchies in my pantry make me a hypocrite after I blogged about health? So, I am going to blog for myself as a sort of journal. I'm not not blogging for Jesus and the Church, but I don't represent the entirety of the Church (of course) so I pray that all readers see my disclaimer of sorts at the top of the page- "Jesus Christ, Son of God- have mercy on me, a sinner."
Please pray for my husband who is under siege at his hospital job.
I've got to remember this quotation from GKC and try to make my blog more positive. Would a reader see this blog as a love letter to Christ and His Church?... probably not, sinner as I am. “The true soldier
fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he
loves what is behind him.” — G. K. Chesterton
Although I don't have a beautiful life-homesteading-mommyblog with three published books and a magazine like Soulemama, this is a great quotation from Soulemama's blog: "Please do remember that what you see on a blog is not 'all' of a person's life. For me, my blog is a place of daily peace, a reminder of family joys, and a celebration of creativity. Know that there are as many messes in my house as yours, 'raised voices' from time to time, and frustration and sadness and struggle, too. But for me - this blog space has always been about trying to find and focus on the joys - the everyday beauty and moments of bliss that we have together as a family. It's my hope that it can serve as a reminder and an encouragement to me - and perhaps to you, too - to savor the tiny moments."
Do you have 'igoogle' as a start page in Chrome? Well I do, and for three straight days the 'featured video' that pops up unannounced is a picture of this weird light brown worm animal or alien or something. There is something about it that makes me sick to my stomach. Yes, this is me being weird and authentic. This thing gave me nightmares last night. Can't I just go to my usual pages without something disturbing coming up? (feel free to laugh...)
Although I don't have a beautiful life-homesteading-mommyblog with three published books and a magazine like Soulemama, this is a great quotation from Soulemama's blog: "Please do remember that what you see on a blog is not 'all' of a person's life. For me, my blog is a place of daily peace, a reminder of family joys, and a celebration of creativity. Know that there are as many messes in my house as yours, 'raised voices' from time to time, and frustration and sadness and struggle, too. But for me - this blog space has always been about trying to find and focus on the joys - the everyday beauty and moments of bliss that we have together as a family. It's my hope that it can serve as a reminder and an encouragement to me - and perhaps to you, too - to savor the tiny moments."
Do you have 'igoogle' as a start page in Chrome? Well I do, and for three straight days the 'featured video' that pops up unannounced is a picture of this weird light brown worm animal or alien or something. There is something about it that makes me sick to my stomach. Yes, this is me being weird and authentic. This thing gave me nightmares last night. Can't I just go to my usual pages without something disturbing coming up? (feel free to laugh...)
Just because you share interests and enjoy the same blogs as her doesn't mean much for similarity of taste, really. It's how you like them, if that makes any sense.
ReplyDeleteI had a roommate once like the author of that post. On the surface, we were incredibly similar... but underneath we were so different that we were in perpetual conflict. It was a miserable environment to live in. I suspect something similar may be going on here. So don't let it make you feel lonely.
GeekLady- I agree, sometimes having superficial things in common doesn't amount to much- or it is just that the words words come across on the Internet can be easily misunderstood.
DeleteTsh from Simple Mom wrote a piece today about being clinically depressed a few years ago and needing to force herself to do the imperfect thing and meet people for coffee, etc. I'm not depressed, but I do tend to be overwhelmed with obligations and overlook real-life friends/ potential friends. Time to do something about that!
I'll be honest, the author of the post referenced under the 'disappointed' tag really strains my ability to exercise charity. She's just so supercilious that it's positively painful to read... and you are not the first blog I read to be singled out by her and her commenters for it. It's such a different experience from why I read and write in the blog-verse.
ReplyDeleteI read and write for the conversation, I love the conversation. I think a blog post is a success when I have comments nesting three or four deep, because someone responded to me, and I responded to them, and they came back. I'm so much more comfortable and less self conscious in text. But for this kind of conversation to be sustained, authenticity is necessary... but not hard. I could probably tell all my regular commenters apart just from the text of their comments
...this is the same GeekLady as above, and it was supposed to be a reply. Blogspot hates my iPad.
DeleteI'm not sure I am smart enough to read your blog ;) all that computer and science stuff....
DeleteThen obviously I'm not doing a good enough job with my blogging! You read, and nag me when something isn't clear enough.
DeleteI really like your blog. I learn something new each time, I pray the Jesus prayer each day because I am struggling with my faith and it's the only prayer I can manage right now. As far as blogging and blogs go, I try to avoid blogs that are all syrupy sweet, light and glory, because it's not real life. Real life is messy, imperfect, and complicated, but the truth is that we are all on The Way and it looks different for all of us.
ReplyDeleteSorry you are so lonely. I know how that feels. I will pray you find a "bosom friend" who understands you and your unconventional life.
The RW- just by your name, I can imagine that your faith might be shaken. The Jesus prayer is a great one because even we mom-types should be 'praying constantly'- how to do that?- the Jesus Prayer at a red light, while I scrub a dish, before I yell at a child...the hail Mary is great but I must confess that sometimes she is too perfect for me to relate to (which makes no sense- because Jesus is God- how can I relate to Him at all?)
DeleteRW- just clicked over to your blog...you will be remembered today at Divine Liturgy!
DeleteI have no words of comfort that can help right now- but maybe clicking around 'Charlotte was Both' would help- she lost her husband suddenly
We Byzantines say 'Memory Eternal' when someone dies- it is our way of saying that your loved one will be a saint- worthy of eternal memory in heaven
also RW- I really enjoy pray-as-you-go.org -It is a 10 minute reflection on a(Roman-rite) reading of the day, music and meditation. I use it straight from my computer but it can be downloaded to an MP3 player. I don't know about you, but after a death (a late miscarriage, friend's 4 year old) I feel anxiety (not for my own life, just anxiety) -pray as you go is really good for those feelings
DeleteI enjoy this blog, because, #1, it's real. It doesn't paint things in entirely sunshine-colored glasses. Plus, I learn a lot about life, the Byzantine tradition; and how they intertwine with each other. By the way, Memory Eternal is deeply moving, for me.
ReplyDeletethanks- any time to do a guest post- maybe the Byzantine rite from a 'newcomer's' perspective?
DeleteSure! When would you like a submission?
Deleteany time you have time to write- I have started to get in the habit of posting guest posts on Mondays
Deletejust email me whatever you feel like writing to remnantofremnant@gmail.com
Deleteoh. em. gee. these takes aren't numbered. *completely* scandalized here.
ReplyDeleteI'm such a wild woman, you know
Deletehttp://grace-filled.net/?p=4241
DeleteI loved your post!
DeleteJust read your post, jen. Great stuff!
DeleteYou are deeply loved just the way you are and you and your family are prayed for every day.
ReplyDeleteThanks Anonymous!
Delete