Friday, March 23, 2012

Does Jesus see me as "bothersome" & "tiring"?


"This is a blogger that reaaaaalllly bothers me.

At first I was only bothered by her presence EVERYWHERE in the Catholic blogosphere - every commbox possible, yup, she's there. From superty-duperty conservatives like Father Z to touchy-feely Catholics like Elizabeth Esther, she ("Priest's Wife") really gets around! Playing both sides of the fence in such a way that I don't really know what she believes or where she's coming from.

And then I saw her blog for like ten minutes and I get it: She's the black sheep trying desperately to fit in.
Well, it's not likely to happen.
Mamby-pamby, nicey-nicey isn't my cup of tea. Pick a side. And while you're at it, stop dominating every conversation!
End rant."- written by Cheeky Pink Girl (March 6, 2012)
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'Cheeky Pink Girl' doesn't like me or my blog. Most of the commenters don't like me either. I would try to forget about her post about me and my blog, but she identifies herself as a 'conservative Catholic'- so we should be on the 'same team' even if we are playing different roles in this life that is our salvation history. Atheists hate Jen Fulwiler. Ultra-liberal Catholics hate Fr. Z. Pro-Abortion activists hate Life Site News. Jen, Fr. Z, and Life Site News probably take the hatred in stride because it comes from the opposing view- but when someone who you have a faith in common with detests you enough to publish a short blog post....wow. 
This is the link to the actual blog post- If 'Cheeky Pink Girl" asks me to delete her post, I will. 


- What is wrong with commenting occasionally on Fr Z and Elizabeth Esther's blogs? Fr Z gives one perspective, and he seems very knowledgeable. And as a sometimes touchy-feely person myself, Elizabeth Esther has a very interesting take on life and her continuing conversion from a cult-like church. I find it sad when we have to put things into little boxes. I am a confusing, bothersome person who prefers my Divine Liturgy ad orientem (anyways- that's normal for my church- sorry to dominate the conversation with that) but who still tears up when I hear On Eagle's Wings- it was the theme song at my first Catholic retreat when I was thirteen. So, "pick a side"? Nope, I'm trying to be CATHOLIC and celebrate diversity!

-I am not "everywhere" in the blogosphere. I just have a tendency to comment whenever I read an article or post. So if you read five comments of mine a day, I have read five articles that day- and really, if you "see me all over the Catholic blogosphere" that means you are all over the Catholic blogosphere- just not leaving comments to give feedback to the blogger or continue the conversation. 

-I am still not clear how a two or three line comment out of many comments "dominates" the conversation. But I'm just a little housewife. So if you are annoyed by my comment, try to skip over it.

-My blog is tiny. I write about a truly miniscule part of the Catholic world. In the Middle East, fellow Eastern Christians (Eastern Catholic and Orthodox) are being slaughtered every day. So, forgive me if I am concerned about our survival. Our survival depends on the Roman-rite Catholic world knowing who we are and accepting our traditions in our own churches. 

-Yes, I am a "black sheep"- all Eastern Catholics in the US are "black sheep." We are a tiny minority who have been persecuted in the past in the U.S. Thousands of Byzantine Catholic left for the Orthodox Church when it was clear that our traditions were not going to be tolerated in the States. So much has improved with Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict, thank God. 

-But I am most certainly not trying to "fit in." Even if I weren't the wife of a priest, I wouldn't fit in. I have never fit in anywhere except my own family. I pray, I fast, I live a non-drinking, non-smoking, no contraception kind of life, but a favorite music group of mine is Queen (I turn it up horribly loud) and I love Harry Potter (but I do focus on classics of true literature). Hypocrite? I don't think so- I am an individual, not something you can just put into a box like "conservative pro-life homeschooling part-time-working Catholic who wants to agree with distributism but doesn't see how that would quite work and who happens to have married a future priest." I might be boring, annoying and bothersome- but there is more to me than the box people think they can put me in- just as your blog, cheeky pink girl, shows only certain sides of you.

- If I were trying to fit in, I would be cowering and hiding, trying to not confuse people. How many clergy wives have blogs? Not many. It is a risk to write about my life- especially when I am trying to preserve the privacy of parishioners, children and my husband. This is just a little diary that I hope informs some people. I am who I am. I wish I could be a better writer and develop my posts more -especially with theological and historical posts- but I am lucky to have time to spell-check.

-I comment about five times a day at different places. For 'cheeky pink girl' to write a blog post about how much I annoy her- wow- I must really annoy her. I just needed to explain myself. And then take a few Advil. 

-She says that I shouldn't mention being a different rite than the majority. She says most practicing Catholics know there are other accepted rites. Sorry, but this just isn't true. Most people think I am Episcopalian or Orthodox. And when she says "just be Catholic!"- that sounds like someone who has never had an experience out of the majority rite. This "just be Catholic!" attitude is what led to the destruction of the minority rite in the US because most people think "Catholic" equals mandatory celibacy, rosaries, adoration and year A, B and C. This is true of being majority Catholic- being minority Catholic is different. But this is annoying to you. Do you know what is really annoying? The slaughter of the minority rite Catholics (and Orthodox and other Christians) in the Middle East.  


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The following comment is the primary reason why I've acknowledged Cheeky Pink Girl's post:
Alice said...
I read Priest's Wife's blog and I hadn't noticed her being particularly nicey-nicey. She has next to nothing nice to say about the Latin Church and nothing nice at all to say to people who believe that ordaining married men to the priesthood might not be the best policy. I hadn't noticed her dominating conversations unless they were about the Eastern Church or the ordination of married men either. I don't find any of that surprising since she is, after all, an Eastern Catholic priest's wife. I find her attitude toward the Latin Church tiring, though, because surely she can understand that many Latins, like myself, may not be too excited about less than reverent Masses and the like but don't want to become pseudo-Slavs to fit in the Byzantine Church.                                         MARCH 7, 2012 11:21 AM


So- I'm not kind to Roman-rite Catholics in general and I have "nothing nice at all to say to people who believe that ordaining married men to the priesthood might not be the best policy." 
First of all, I have tried to be really careful in not telling another rite what to do. My family of origin is Roman-rite (that sounds stupid- like 'some of my best friends are ____')- but isn't it best to prefer what you are? I have Roman-rite friends who like our Liturgy, but they feel more at home at their Mass because that is who they are. It is the same with me. I just love the Roman-rite Easter vigil (who doesn't?), but you will find me at my church because that is who I am.

Because I am the first and last person to tend to practical things at my church (like getting music books to people, singing if the cantor doesn't show up, setting up coffee hour, etc), it might be tempting to be critical when I am visiting a different church. But to be critical about (why didn't they sing during distribution of the Eucharist? Why no coffee and donuts at this mega-parish with 2 priests and 10 [married, no clergy collars allowed] deacons and five thousand families?) a parish I am visiting  would be like going into someone's house as a dinner guest and start giving opinions about their drapes. That's just rude and I don't do it. I don't allow my children to do it. And I hope visitors are merciful too when they visit our missions. We are all sinners and perhaps clergy-types are the worst offenders because of their responsibility.

I had a friend from Poland. Let's call him Peter from Poland. He really, really loves his country. But he usually doesn't talk about all the great things about Poland. He insults all the bordering countries and the decadence that is the United States. So, I could be Peter from Poland. I could talk about celibate priests with secretary/gate keepers. I could talk about celibate priests who own planes. I could talk about celibate priests who....but what good would that do? I will try to focus on the positive/neutral about married priests in the Eastern rites and let the other arguments fall. Talking about mandatory celibacy is impossible. If I try to defend the possibility of married men being ordained priests (in the Eastern rites- I have written time and time again that it is not my business to give even an opinion on this issue for the Roman-rite)- it's impossible.


The lesson I have learned from Cheeky Pink Girl (EDIT- leaving Alice out of this sentence after re-reading- I stand by the rest of my post)  is that she wishes we 'other Catholics' would go away- at least from the blogosphere- the only place they have encountered us minority Catholics. And I know a lot of people feel this way. We complicate things even though we are totally unimportant and small. We probably won't survive another generation. oops- opinion on the Roman-rite coming!- The Archdiocese of Los Angeles, after ordaining over 45 married deacons last year, will not allow them to wear clerical collars. So the Church needs them and uses them and doesn't give them a stipend, but it doesn't give them their dignity as clerics. So- writing about a married priest family that isn't all that bad- another way to be Catholic (meaning- "Universal")- is a challenge to those who want the entire Church to be just like their local parish. Anything else isn't "Catholic." 

a few of my posts for 'Alice' (by the way- that is on my top ten list of favorite female names- I always think of St Thomas More's wife)

The Challenge of Celibacy- is this where I am all negative?
Sad Days- please read the last paragraph! That is the theme of this blog- "bothersome" and "tiring" as it is.

Surfing around, I didn't really find much about the Latin-rite (except a few guest posts written by Latin-rite Catholics who are friends and some 'reports' of visits) because that isn't the focus of this blog, so I don't really understand how I have been unkind. The Latin-rite brought me into the Church. I love the entire Church. I love the Holy Father. I pray for understanding, forgiveness and unity.

57 comments:

  1. Don't worry. She hates Jen Fulwiler too. You're in good company.

    (Personally, I don't understand why a person would waste time constructing a blog post about a blogger she can't stand. I mean - move on. Isn't there enough to read and do in this busy world? Weird.)

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  2. I like when anyone comments on my posts. You're welcome anytime.

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    1. Comments are about 10%-25% why we bloggers bother, no? if we didn't care, we would just write in a diary- except computers are cooler :)

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  3. So sorry. I left an encouraging comment (and everything I said was very true!) Wish we could all leave this Mean Girl stuff behind in high school.

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    1. Thanks katie- I find your story so cool and IMPORTANT- waiting for the kids WITHOUT artificial birth control! You are going to be a great doctor and mom

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    2. Anytime! I'm pretty sure she called me out in her response. Enless there really is another blog called "My NFP Journey" which I don't think there is because I'm almost certain I've found all the NFP blogs. :)

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  4. Anonymous- Jen Fulwiler is really in the thick of things! I'm really glad my blog is small- but I can handle negative comments (I publish them if there are no swear words)- I was just surprised to see a blog POST about my blog.

    Athanasius- One of my favorite priests in all the world (Roman-rite! Celibate!) is named Athanasius

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  5. I've been trying to think of how I am ALWAYS bringing up my rite in a com box even when it has nothing to do with the subject at hand. (not that cheeky pink girl has thought of me once since her post)
    Here's my last comment at 'Shoved to Them" (2 days ago- no other comments connected to CMR in maybe 2 weeks)- I clicked over from Creative Minority Report, the post was about talking to sexually active high school girls

    "GREAT job! It's time we all spoke like this-
    and I did always wonder- as a girl/woman with no illicit sexual experience- how females could sleep around. I'm going to fall asleep with a guy that I don't even know his middle name, let alone his mother's maiden name??? No thank you!"

    I can't find my latest comment at Fr Z's blog WDTPRS- but I did find a Roman-rite prayer for priests that I re-posted a week ago. The last time I commented more than once at the beginning of Lent and there was talk of fasting. He wanted to know what people's plans were and then somebody asked specifically want the minority rite's do for Lent. So yes, my minority rite came up but in context.

    My favorite blog is Like Mother, Like Daughter- my last comment was: "prayers for the birth mother and the new mother who will be joyfully sleep-deprived!"

    My last comment at Conversion Diary was: "it’s not easy to get feedback- but I’m sure it will help the book be even better— I need to edit a book of my husband’s (really translating it- yikes)- I’ll be as merciful as I can"

    I can't find the last time I commented at Elizabeth Esther.

    My last comment at Jen Fulwiler's NCR blog was :"@rebecca- thanks for your story- I’m sorry you are going through this- the ‘old’ play book of saying “don’t murder your baby” is just wrong for pro-lifers to say. We certainly don’t say this- we think it is more effective and compassionate to say something like “Let your baby live"(March 16)one comment out of 347. Dominating the conversation? I don't think so

    so...it is silly, but I was curious- do I always mention my minority rite when I comment at poor unsuspecting bloggers who were talking about Roman-rite vestment colors, child care, favorite movies, birth control pro/con, homeschooling, chocolate cake recipes, etc, etc

    when 'scientific analysis' concludes that I am not completely obsessed with only one subject- I am obsessed with many and if I happen upon a blog post that I read more than the title, I usually leave a short comment.

    But.....I finally figured out why she says I am dominating the conversation with being Byzantine Catholic- it's my name, Priest's wife. I have the audacity to say what I am. I should stick to "Anne" (at least it is with an 'e') and keep my minority status out of everyone's face. People might be curious and click over to here and then BYZANTINE is IN THEIR FACE. Oh well...I'm sure cheeky pink girl won't waste her time here again.

    I'm sorry, but I am who I am.

    Don't worry- readers who don't dislike me- I am OVER these comments and blog posts and won't mention it again. That would be BORING, TIRING and BOTHERSOME.

    Readers who like me for whatever this silly blog reveals- please pray for me and my husband (and the kids- they are sick with something yucky and hopefully quick!)

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    1. YIKES- SOOOOOO many typos. Sorry- but I'm not going to fix them...the bishop is coming for dessert

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  6. Your post is very amusing. I honestly don't think you have much to fear from either of those two women commenting disdainfully on your practice of spreading around your opinions and beliefs. I like reading what you have to say on Fr. Z's website...and I believe that I will begin to follow your blog.

    I honestly do not understand the stereotypes or prejudices that people who call themselves "catholic" seem to have in regard to the different rites. As long as it is all duly recognized and approved by the Holy See, what right does anyone have to criticize?

    I, for one, have never taken you to mean that the Latin Rite should loosen its laws regarding married presbyters...nor that all the Easterns in communion with Rome should toe the Latin line. Even in the Latin Rite there is some measure of diversity between those who exclusively attend the Extraordinary Form Liturgy and use the 1962 calendar and those who exclusively attend the Ordinary Form Liturgy and use its corresponding calendar. There's no good reason for contention between these two groups of attendees, just as there is no good reason for contention between Latins and Easterns...

    :) Best wishes in your continued blogging!

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    1. Nicole- Thanks for commenting! I think there is lesson to be learned here- the Catholic Church really is diverse- in a good way. I am so excited about the new Anglican ordinate- and there seems to be a little hope with Pius X- but they are not going to attening an NO parish- that's ok!

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    2. My goodness am I ever excited too, for both the Anglican Ordinariate and the possible reconciliation of the SSPX :) I hope and pray with all of my heart that the Anglican Catholics can develop their patrimony and their understanding of the Faith in their unique light, and eventually perhaps become their own Rite. It's a symbol of a bright future for the Catholic Faith when She encompasses, at least spiritually, Canterbury, Rome, and the venerable East. I have an Anglican Liturgy from the book of Divine Worship that is celebrated every month or two (for now) not far from me, and I hope that once I'm Baptized I'll be able to attend the months that they have it; I've always loved the Anglican expression of the Faith.

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  7. Priest's Wife,

    This post is so unlike you. As a Coptic woman, who is used to news about being crushed under tanks, shot at on Feast days, etc., I feel for you and can't believe anyone could write anything negative about you. But we always say, as Susanna said,

    "O everlasting God, that knowest the secrets, and knowest all things before they be: Thou knowest that they have borne false witness against me, and, behold, I must die; whereas I never did such things as these men have maliciously invented against me."

    Don't let your peace be shaken. God is the One who defends you.

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  8. Anonymous- thanks for your comment- we are offering our Great Fast for the Coptic people- I'm so sorry your people are going through these trials- they are all saints!

    Memory eternal!

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  9. PW,

    I believe some charity is in order.. I read the entire post that this cheeky girl left, and the thing that first struck me is the judgmental tone she strikes. Trying to pick apart another's flaws, especially someone she perceives (wrongly) as trying to fit in, is absolutely terrible. There is one Lord Jesus Christ who will be such an overpowering Light on that Day that every knee will be compelled to bow and quake. God bless you with His love, and pay no heed to those who are in danger of moving themselves out of the charity and forgiveness of Jesus Christ by not being a conduit of His charity and forgiveness themselves.

    And do you therefore love strangers, because you also were strangers in the land of Egypt.- Deuteronomy 10:19

    This is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you.- Gospel of St. John 15:12

    By the way, I read your post (ironically, in both places!) :) thank you for leaving it, it was encouraging and very thoughtful of you! If and when you receive some more details on that issue, I'll be sure to come by your blog and check it out. Know that you're welcome any time on mine, as well, you are not bothersome nor tiring to Jesus; and nothing of the sort to me, either.

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    1. about the theology question- my brain is hurting! :) I just talked to my bishop (he was here for dessert) and he is giving me some good info- yes, Byzantine Catholic theology on 'original sin' MATCHES Roman-rite, even if we explain it differently or focus on different aspects.

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  10. Negative comments are always the hardest to take. I admit I take them personally, especially since I write about a lifestyle. But every time I get a negative comment, I just think to myself I must be doing something right, because Satan is trying to take me down a notch. Keep up the good work, as a wife to a collar wearing deacon you were one of the first to inspire me. I found your blog before my husband was ordained last year, right after starting to write in earnest. Keep up the good work. You touch some real lives in positive ways.

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    1. i concur regarding negative comments.

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  11. I am sorry that you found my comment offensive. I was very surprised that Cheeky Pink Girl found you too nicey-nice because your blog comes across as fairly balanced to me. Perhaps I am overly attached to my tradition and see negativity in your posts that you do not intend. It always seems that your occasional visits to the West leave you with nothing but a desire to return East as soon as possible and that makes me sad.

    It hurts me that you think from my comment that I want everyone else to go away. I don't. I've been trying to figure out what I could do to bring a Byzantine Catholic priest to town to offer Divine Liturgy for the local youth groups and I'm trying to re-arrange schedules so that my husband can take his godson to a non-Byzantine Divine Liturgy this week, for crying out loud! (And, since my husband and I will have had no rest this weekend, thanks to extra church musician duties that will have one or the other of us at 4 Masses and 2 other services, that's a big sacrifice.) I wish that the closest Byzantine Catholic Church were down the street instead of, oh, a 3 hour drive away because the Divine Liturgy sweeps me up to heaven in a way that the Latin liturgy does not. Even if there were a Byzantine Catholic parish here, though, I doubt if I would join or even visit frequently because even if I could detach myself from Latin spirituality, I cannot change my ethnicity and it seems that Eastern Catholicism is just not the place for a German/English American girl like me.

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  12. Alice- I can tell that you are a good person- that is why your comment worried me because I never want to belittle any parts of the Church!

    and I think you have it right in many ways- usually we should stay the way we are (of course, some people have very strong feelings to change from their origins or the rite of their parents- but that's pretty rare)

    But you never know (I am a Czech/German/English American girl)...

    In any case- ENJOY your Easter vigil and if you remember, say a prayer for us- that is one time when I prefer Roman-rite. But then, our morning service is great

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    1. Thank you for being so gracious. I had considered asking Char to remove the comment because rereading it after I hit post it came out mean as opposed to expressing my frustrations with the Eastern Catholic Churches that cannot seem to figure out how to serve both people who are new to the United States and people who have become culturally American at the same time. (Not that the Latin Church is perfect at this, but we do seem to have historically done a bit better.) Since her blog was private at the time, I decided to just wait and see where the discussion went and clarify if someone noticed my comment.

      I doubt if I will be going to Easter Vigil because I have a sunrise service and a later Mass to play for on Easter, but my husband will because his godson is coming into the Church. I wish I could because this Easter Vigil will be my father's 25th anniversary of Initiation into the Church and I really want to hear the new translation of the Exultet.

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    2. Alice- I'm sorry I stuck your name in that later paragraph (I have edited it out) - chalk it up to writing too fast and not proofreading! Not a good thing!

      My family celebrated our 25th anniversary of entering the Church 3 years ago (dad, mom, and 5 kids)- they couldn't find my Dad's baptismal information, so he was even conditionally baptized at the vigil!

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    3. Writing too fast and not proofreading gets us all in trouble, doesn't it.:P

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  13. i found your blog BECAUSE you identified as a priest's wife. charlotte is wrong -- it's not that all of us are catholic. (i know i'm not!) there are distinctions between the rites and your comments have no context unless you distinguish yourself as byzantine catholic.

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    1. Jen- yes- thanks- but if I'm at a craft blog- I don't start talking church BUT that name of mine...

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  14. I just wanted to say I don't find you bothersome or tiring. I generally enjoy reading your perspective - on your blog and in comments on other blogs.

    I do prefer a generally celibate priesthood, but I don't think there is anything wrong with exceptions to that rule. And, in the Latin rite, it is, I might add, a rule that could change. It isn't dogmatically defined and thus unchangeable with regards to priests. So, it is a bit silly to get in a huff over disagreeing with someone over it.

    It has really baffled me why people can actually get offended just because someone disagrees with them. I understand being offended at profanity, slurs, personal insults, condescension, etc. But just disagreeing? People need to grow up.

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  15. I've loved your blog since I first stumbled on it. I'm grateful that you share your experience as an Eastern rite Catholic with the rest of us. Thank you!

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  16. I love your blog! When I was first searching, I was so close to becoming EO (not that there's anything wrong with that) but my Dh was firmly Catholic. YOUR blog was let me know that it was OK for me to become Catholic. Does that make any sense? Anyway, now I'm being received into the church this Easter Vigil. Than you, you helped with that. You helped me bridge it.

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    1. YIPPEE! Welcome home! I'm glad this little place has been a help

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  17. Dear PW,
    O dear. Well, I think you're lovely. Let's face it - you love Queen AND Harry Potter ... keep going; & when others 'dis' you, offer it up. It's their problem, not yours.
    Blessings,
    Levi+

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    1. haha! In my day dreams, Freddy Mercury is singing in heaven after some hard core purgatory time (but being sick here also was purgatory)- to have that voice must have been pleasing to God even when he wasn't a good Christian (but this is just between you and me, Fr. Levi....)

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  18. PW,

    looking at Cheeky Pink Girl's blog, she has the following statement:
    --
    NOT Blogging for the Glory of God
    This blog does not exist for me to glorify God or show the world what a joyful Catholic mommy I am. Quite the opposite. I'm blogging to try and empty my overactive brain of everything that annoys the crap out of me or that makes me wonder and think too much. Despite this stance, I'm still your fellow Catholic, so deal with it.
    --

    Does anything more need be said??

    Bear

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    1. Her words are probably a disclaimer for herself so that people don't expect 'imprimatur' level material- I am very sympathetic to that because all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Even when we label ourselves as faithful Catholics, it is really only the Vatican website that would have the final word on dogma, etc

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    2. I understand that one does not want to hold oneself up as an example, and your interpretation is much more charitable than mine.

      However, blogs by their nature are an open and public communication. Consequently, anything put onto a blog should be considered as "public speech", and not "private speech". I would hope that people are aware of this and maintain some standards.

      An example: a teacher commits a minor injustice to my child at school. It is one thing to be angry and say all sorts of negative things about the teacher to my spouse at home, it is another to turn up to the classroom and yell and threaten the teacher in front of her students and peers.

      For blogs, everything is public and in the open - so it is as though one is speaking in front of a roomful of people.

      The statement "I'm blogging to try and empty my overactive brain of everything that annoys the crap out of me..." indicates that the blogging has a therapeutic purpose. This gets into the realm of public/private speech. I would think that therapy is a private matter and therefore should be private (particularly if one attacks alleged exhibitionism in others).

      Also I think that one should never absolve oneself of the obligation to courteous, or at least civil, speech in public. As Christians, we should also be striving for charity in our speech. Unfortunately, many bloggers do, and find themselves many years later having to account for some statements made in fury.

      Bear

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    3. Bear- you are totally right- but another aspect is that I or the C.P.G. or any other catholic blogger (liberal or conservative or anything else) don't have the final say and it is my prayer hope that when people read my words, they will also go to other sources for important material- like with your guest blog about NFP (thanks by the way)- they can get lots of different angles on the subject and I hope they also learn from the Holy fathers' authority. And even if I make a mistake in my facts or maybe blog about a bad day, I pray it doesn't scandalize people to the point where they lose faith

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  19. I discovered your blog when a friend linked to it and I find it interesting. As a Latin-Rite Catholic, I like learning more about your experiences at church as pretty much all the Catholics I have known are Latin-Rite.

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  20. Please don't stop blogging. I don't post often, but I do like reading your words. I like to think that I breathe with "both lungs". We are a Roman Rite Catholic family. It's 3 hours for us to travel to a Byzantine Diving Liturgy, but we do read the Prologue daily. We are so looking forward to a sung Easter Divine Liturgy!

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    1. Marica- no, I'm here- I just need to print out the Litany of Humility and post it by the computer

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  21. You know my opinion-ignore it. It's not worth your time.

    But, I have a request. I need more snippets on being Byzantine. And I do mean snippets. I know you have a good resource in your husband. I bought a book called "101 Question and Answers on Eastern Catholic Churches." I bought it because I wanted to have answers for my kids and for other folks who ask. I don't always have the right words in my mouth. But, most of it I already know. And they are nice bite sized answers...Anyhow, I hate long blog posts because I usually don't have time or attention to read them all. I need bite sized Byzantine-isms to help me learn more about our Tradition, keep the faith and bring it to my family. I know in Europe they know the traditions and associated theology, but it is lost on us newb-American-Byzantines. For example, it would be good if you could post the day before feasts about the Troparian or any special blessings or symbolic blessings such as blessing flowers, or fruit, or candles, or wheels, etc. Do you know what I mean? We could be in cahoots about this. You could email me too and we could take turns. Or you could just email me blogs that already do this...We care about the Theology of the East too.

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  22. Dear Priest's Wife:

    Thank you, This is my first time at your blog.

    I like to think that I am a _____ Rite Catholic in Communion with the entire Church.

    You give me hope that I can be a full Catholic and still have the thoughts I have. The Church has more authority than me on whether or not my thoughts are licit.

    Keep up the blog!

    With love in Jesus Christ,

    Ron19

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    1. Ron19- welcome and thanks for stopping by

      as you know- our words and actions are more important than thoughts- we just have to careful that the 'illicit' thoughts don't grow.

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  23. Renne- I want that book!!! I'm going to search for it now- I hope I can find it on Amazon. and thanks for the bloggy ideas- many of the Byzantine ideas can be found at orthodox places- but it can be hurtful to us...we are minding our business, learning about the eastern ways and then occasionally get blind-sided about something anti-Pope. So yes, in my perfect world, there's a book written by me- illustrated by you- a "Byzantine Catholic Year for Families"- I have got to get on it- or I'll regret it...

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    1. Yes, the Orthodox sites show us much about Theology, but I am looking for the Traditions unique to the Byzantines (especially Ukrainian Byzantines, even though we are Ruthenian, to me it's all the same) ;-) I go to the OCA website for kids education, but every time I do, I find the plethora overwhelming. I don't think the act of practicing and teaching faith should not be that complicated. Jesus certainly does not paint that sort of picture in the Gospels.

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  24. Things are crazy here so I don't have time for a nice long comment. But I just want to say that as a wife to a man in the seminary for an Eastern Catholic church I am SO grateful for your blog, your insight, experience and struggles. It helps me so much to know that I'm not the only one experiencing these things.
    For every one mean comment rest assured that there are at least a dozen people that are happy about your post but are just to lazy to say so.

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  25. Wow!! So you didn't even call me to tell me about this? Great homeschooling lesson for my kids; who say "Aunt (blank) is nice! Is Cheeky Pink Girl Catholic? This is the opposite of what Aunt (blank) is!" Anyway, I tried to go over there to get your back but looks like it's closed for business. I'd never heard of her-- and I've been ALL OVER the Catholic blogosphere! (more than you!)

    your sister F
    (who is Latin-rite Catholic and thinks we are all "black sheep"-- thank God we have a Good Shepherd!)

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  26. Sister F- I totally have ESP just like Grandma carol said- just as I was turned on the laptop I was thinking of calling you- I looked at the clock and it is past 9- so I hope you are winding down for the night- I'll call you tomorrow and thanks for the kind words. This will teach me not to have a litany of humility printed out- I hate being misunderstood (of course you know this) If I really am a brat- then call me out- but if you sort of kind of have the opinion that I might be one....well....

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  27. Jen, Fr. Z, and Life Site News probably take the hatred in stride because it comes from the opposing view- but when someone who you have a faith in common with detests you enough to publish a short blog post....wow.

    I know. That's the kind of criticism that's most difficult to take too.

    Also, if it makes you feel better, there was another post about me on that same site that criticized you. The blog author said that she has been wanting to write criticism about me for a long time but hesitated to do so because I'm "untouchable" (whatever that means). Her commenters then jumped in with some pretty scathing criticism of me; one of them (who referred to me as "sickening") had participated in my 7QT meme a few times.

    It's funny, at the same time they were writing that the atheists were back at it again, throwing awful insults at me all over their blog world, but it didn't bother me. But when I came across that thread, written by fellow Catholics, I was so hurt.

    Sorry to hear that you were exposed to this too. At least you're not alone! ;)

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    1. Thanks Jen for taking the time to comment- my goal is not to have people always agree with me (that's impossible)- but to be a witness of a normal, practicing Catholic with a slightly different story who is still working out her salvation with fear and trembling

      I'm sorry that someone who benefits from participation with your blog (you are a generous 'big' blogger with your quick takes like Leila's pretty happy funny real, EE's Saturday Evening post) was jerky. If only the mean commenters were Angelas!(you know what I mean)

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  28. Don't worry about what Cheeky Pink Girl says. She's one of the most mean-spirited people I've ever encountered. She'll move onto a new target soon enough. She always does. God love you!

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  29. I strongly suspect that had the Eastern rite been an option for me when I came into the Church it's where I might well have landed. What little exposure I've had to it (via priests on EWTN and reading blogs like yours) makes me suspect that the liturgy got less tinkered with after Vatican II than the Latin rite. However, where I live it simply was not an option. My diocese has zero Eastern rite parishes (also zero parishes that celebrate the EF of the Latin rite on Sunday). So I live in Roman rite land. We have faithful priests who love the Lord, love the Blessed Mother, and do their best to serve their flock. I just long for a liturgy where they actually say the black and do the red without inserting their own personalities in quite so prominently. Some Roman rite priests do that better than others. We've had some of those. However, I can't understand how Eastern rite Catholics can be viewed as black sheep. You are our brothers and sisters and the fact that Eastern rite Christians are being so horribly persecuted in the Middle East should be a scandal to every Catholic. A former student of mine just spent time in Rome and found herself attending an Eastern rite Mass much of the time because it was closer to where she was living. We just had an interesting conversation with her about it yesterday. She saw no disconnect at all.

    I've landed on your blog from time to time. I probably don't always agree with everything you say (I've never found a blog where I did), but I've enjoyed it. I've seen you comment in other places, and I've always appreciated what you had to say. I'm a lot older than you (post menopausal grandmother rather than a mom still in the trenches), but I homeschooled my own kids and I end up discussing NFP type issues with my daughter who's a young mom, so the topics you discuss are interesting to me. As for Cheeky Pink Girl... Well it's people like her who keep me from commenting more frequently on other blogs. I must say that like you, it hurts a whole lot more when it's someone who belongs to the same Church and holds to the faith that says mean things. What I've found, though, is that there are some pretty mean spirited people out there, even in the conservative Catholics circles. I wish they'd remember to think three or four times before they hit the publish button.

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  30. Liz- just a thought- when a NO Mass is celebrated ad orientam the priest is not 'pressured' to put on a 'show'- if it became the norm, I think that would improve things immensely!

    Thanks for the rest of your comment

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  31. You're always welcome at my corner of the world :)...keep going! I get flack on fb for defending traditions of the east as a latin...Prayers for you

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  32. Just a note of support for you. I love reading your blog. I also love Harry Potter but prefer David Bowie to Queen. (Though I have been known to belt out along with Freddie Mercury on many occasions.) I grew up and continue to be a Byzantine Catholic who even managed to be blessed enough to find a man who became Byzantine Catholic after we married. As an Italian/Irish man he still feels welcomed and part of the church! Despite this I too still tear up at On Eagles Wings as it reminds me of my time in high school as it was sung at every single school mass! (RC high school after a Ruthenian Byzantine elementary/middle/junior high.)

    Thank you for having this blog.

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    1. penguin gal- we could be twins! if you are reading this...google 'Flight of the Conchords Bowie in Space' on Youtube...you can thank me later ;)

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