Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Pretty Happy Funny Real Haircuts & Stuff

Pretty & Happy- We haven't been that happy with the ballet situation around here, and I've reduced their classes to a tech class and a pointe class. The silver lining? They (the 2 big girls) will begin a three-hour contemporary class with their first ballet teacher from ten years ago. It is through parks and rec. It is so affordable- I am giddy. Also, Baby Girl will actually get to do an outside activity  She will be in a pre-ballet class with the same teacher while the big girls are at Shakespeare. I'm also giddy about the proximity of the classes. 
Funny- I didn't get a photo. I was too angry. I'm sure that years from now, I'll laugh. Three-year old girl + scissors = Mia Farrow-esque look. Then, add Mama who tries to even out the Gollum-style wisps and said baby girl starts weeping and blaming Mama for cutting her hair, conveniently forgetting that she, baby girl, started it all.
this is LONG...she cut it shorter (sob)
Real- Of course, the 'Real' this week was all about processing the issue of continence for (rare, usually former Anglican) married priests in the Roman-rite- read my post from Monday to get acquainted.  But it is interesting- even in the old country and in the Byzantine rite, the 'party line' is still 'Celibacy is superior.' 

The Deacon's Bench posted a beautiful article from the CNEWA about the day to day life of a married Ukrainian Byzantine Catholic priest and how he makes it work with his family. It isn't easy. He seems very devoted and hard-working, along with his wife and extended family. But it states that in Ukraine, the Basilian Fathers encourage celibacy. Of course they do, they are monks and would love vocations to the monastic life. The article finishes by stating "despite the challenges of balancing his vocation with the needs of his family, Father Havrylenko expresses no regrets- “A celibate priest can devote his life more to the church, but marriage has helped me change and improve myself.”

This I don't understand. The entire article shows that he is devoted completely to the Church.  So, being 'completely devoted to the Church' means there can be no outside attachments or friendships? Then I believe that every priest should be a monk, devoted to life as an ascetic.  As much as I love and respect the celibate priests in my life, I can conclude that one is 'married' to his Netflix queue, one is 'married' to his private plane, one is 'married' to his thrice weekly golf game. They spend as much time with their various 'wives' as my husband does with me- well...I'm sure they don't text their golf clubs occasionally during the work day- so there's that. Now, I understand that there are theological reasons to encourage celibacy. In the Eastern rites, celibate men are encouraged to be monastic. But for practical reasons, how does marriage limit a man's devotion to the Church? Just as with each child being born, the love can grow (if the vocation is there along with God's grace). -click on the link for a perspective for the 'Father Father' blog

My husband works about 50 hours a week as director of spiritual care at a hospital. This is part of his priestly ministry and what financially supports himself and his dependents. He celebrates three daily Masses a week along with three Sunday masses (one is a Sunday vigil). There are other prayer services and Bible studies weekly. He spends at least two hours in confessions plus more if people call and make an appointment. Because our church is so small, we do not have a church office. The office is his cellphone. So, there is no gate-keeper. Call and leave a message (he might be in Mass or confession) and he will get back to you right away. And yes, he makes time for the people in his life- mostly his family. Surgeons spend less time with their families and their families can't be a part of the surgeries like we can be a part of his ministry...

My husband definitely puts in the hours and heart to show his devotion to the Church. In some cases, it can be a case of 'if you want something done, ask a busy person.' He will come to anoint you at 2 AM in the hospital even though you refused the sacrament during his official work hours. And yes, he will wait until the 'normal' priest doesn't show up at the homeschooling event and will bless the food for you.
oops- that 'real' got a bit long-winded 

14 comments:

  1. I need to start praying that our less-than-ideal ballet situation would improve. Maybe we can find a neat option like you have! Sorry about the bangs; seems like every 3-4 year-old does this at some point :-/

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    1. You might ask around for a highschooler who has taken ballet- we have a wonderful college student who teaches a pre-ballet class to homeschoolers in the home

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  2. My daughter cut her hair when she was 2. We had to do a comb over to hid her bald spot. She would tell everyone that "mama freak out" We had to hid the scissors for a year. Stopping by from {p,h,f,r}

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    1. Thanks for visiting!...girls and scissors...dangerous

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  3. I wish we could even have a ballet situation. Before we moved here, my daughter was in a sweet ballet class and Irish dance - we so loved it. The only dance this town offers is the opposite of classic or even contemporary.....it is more likened to a strip club and makes me very sad.
    I've been there with the hair cutting thing, my niece and my daughter did it - luckily, hair does grow.

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    1. you never know...there might be a REAL dancer who is willing to give classes...another option we have done (but my big girls are pretty experienced so they know how a ballet class 'goes')- practice on off-days with a dvd class or a youtube class

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  4. Perhaps your daughter will be an aspiring hairdresser :) It does seem to be a pretty typical preschool age mischief...

    In my humble, untrained opinion, I feel like the reason celibacy is so regarded as 'superior' is that people forget the origins. Celibacy is a form of asceticism, the same as the monks who abstain from meat year round or those who wear a hair shirt or those who retreat into the desert. It is wonderful and has a definite place within the ancient and modern Christian church, but it is a distinct calling and it is not supposed to be for everyone. People forget its 'place' and just kind of assume that everyone should at least try to 'muscle through it' and that those who chose to be married before ordination or continue having a normal marriage with their wife after ordination are somehow lesser because they lack this 'strength'. Its a calling, a distinct calling to a particular ascetical practice... it is not really just a matter of stregth. I know the Latin church places a high value on their celibate priests, but it is my understanding that they at least offer some training to help the boys cope with a celibate life (at least I hope so), its not my church so I can't really comment more than that...
    But IMHO that is what leads to the idea of the superiority, people forget its role.

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    1. ...a hairdresser....hmmmm- I was hoping dentist or plumber- saves me lots of $ in the future ;)

      yes about the asceticism- our monks are a beautiful example of this

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  5. In regard to "real" - as a Roman Catholic who works in a parish, who has a husband studying for the deaconate, I will tell you this story about priests and devotion to the church. My husband must have a spiritual director who is a priest, but not his pastor. He has a hard time finding one, as do other men, because the priests work regular business hours, as does my husband, he is a teacher. So even when he has a day off for a holiday, the church office is closed, therefore, not business hours. I have often said, if my husband paid as much attention to me as some priests paid to their parishioners, we'd be divorced and/or childless. Sorry, for the rant, but this hurts me so much. Celibacy when genuinely for the Kingdom is beautiful and a gift. However, it often seems like it isn't. And so we pray...

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    1. Deanna- prayers for you and your husband...it isn't easy, but it will be worth it!

      I pray that all these married deacons and priests (really a small number) will inspire a deeper sense of simplicity with celibate clergy- me being the practical one, I feel like celibacy is impossible without monasticism (not because chastity is impossible, but I believe an aesthetic life is what can be missing from modern celibacy)

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  6. Your baby girl is still super cute (even though we aren't seeing the "after" I think?)!
    You will laugh... someday :)

    I hope that you can achieve clarity on the celibacy issue. I can see how you would be upset by the whole thing! A big hug!

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    1. I have clarity- marriage means something and it comes before ordination (but yes- the sacrament of holy orders in eternal)..I would just like the code of Western canon law to reflect what is lawful

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  7. Awww, the girls are so cute! Even with haircut! My SIL just had an episode of this, but it was right before the big family Christmas photo! She was super-steamed up, as you can imagine!

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    1. at least we got a Christmas photo- and hair grows!

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