I doubt that Fr Z, Mark Shea or Simcha Fisher cry themselves to sleep...

Yes, this is going to be one of those blog posts, a post where the blogger tells a story about why blogging is getting to be a major downer. She decides to take a step back from blogging because the blog is not what she wants it to be. She, trying to be anonymous so she can represent generalities, hurts someone in the real world with her written words. 

Remember my blog post "My Feather Pillow" where I wrote about someone hurting me without confronting me directly? I finally left a message on this person's phone. It took me months to get the courage to try and talk. A week later, there is no communication between us, but I am happy that I tried to make peace.

I am pathologically afraid of confrontation. I cannot think of a time when I have said to a friend, "It hurt me when you said people who eat hamburgers are killing the planet when you know that I like a burger now and then. It seems like you were making a personal dig at me" (see- I can't even write a decent possible example of a mature disagreement/discussion!). 

Well, I wrote something lately that hurt a friend. It probably wouldn't have hurt this friend if I had confronted the person directly with what was hurting me, but I chose to hide behind this blog and process something that was bothering me. 

I guess this is why I preemptively put that clip art of 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner,' knowing that writing anything on an open blog is going to reveal me as a hypocrite. 

So, yes, I am going to be taking a step back. This blog cannot be an interesting expose of the life of a priest's wife because there isn't that much to say and I need to preserve his dignity as a Catholic priest (I do beg forgiveness when my humanness has gotten the better of me). And it won't be and hasn't been an intellectual exercise in educating the world on Catholicism and Eastern Christianity. I don't have the education and the time to write well-documented and intellectually-stimulating posts. For that purpose, you will find some efficacious links at In Union with Rome. 

How does Priest's Wife homeschool all those kids? 7 Quick Takes

1. Well, I only have 4 kids and the baby is 4. 

2. I use a crock pot a lot. 

3. My husband is on board even if he doesn't do much of the formal educating. I know some moms with husbands who teach the kids a lot, but not us. By the time papa gets home from the hospital, we should be done with schoolish things so that he can take them swimming!

4. We use the computer. Try Khan Academy and Starfall. We use local libraries a lot for books and educational videos. In general, we steer clear of conventional television (except the kids are watching 'River Monster on Netflix with their dad right now- come on, it's summer!).

5. We are lucky to have a strong local homeschooling community. With my son being in first grade and in need of consistent 'boy time,' we will be committing to a weekly park day and some other activities for him especially. If we went to every opportunity on my various email lists, we would never be home! It is a balancing act, giving all the children and me what we need to thrive. This year, I hope to be a bit more exclusive with my time, especially since I teach part-time four evenings a week at the college (hence, the crock pot).

6.  I go to websites for inspiration, support and ideas. Simple Homeschool is a great place to start. And as always, Like Mother, Like Daughter has some much great information on homemaking and child-raising; it is not just a homeschooler's blog, but it does develop the important philosophy on why many of us choose to educate non-conventionally. 

7. We use a public homeschooling charter school. Personally, a 'middle way' works for my family and me, but I know that many, many homeschoolers would not even consider us homeschoolers because we report to the state and do state testing. It is controversial, but my children are able to do Shakespeare, choir and ballet because of the charter school. 

thanks for hosting, Jen!

How can parents be the "primary educators" of their conventionally-schooled children?

It is within the family where children are raised and formed as human beings.  The parental role in this human formation is governed by love, a love which places itself "at the service of children to draw forth from them ("e-ducere") the best that is in them" and which "finds its fullest expression precisely in the task of educating." (Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Catholic Church, No. 239)  That is why the family may be called the "first school."

The parental duty to educate their children comes tied to a right.  Parents are the "original and primary" educators of their children, and their duties as well as their rights are "irreplaceable and inalienable." (Compendium, 239)  The duty is non-delegable.  The parent is ultimately responsible for his or her child.  Though the parent may obtain the help of other persons or institutions, these always remain in loco parentis, in the parents' place. Importantly, this is a task shared by both parents, and so "the role of the father and that of the mother are equally necessary" (Compendium, 242).

I agree completely.

So, having that out of the way, I do not believe that all parents should keep their children out of conventional school. 

I think my parents did a great job of being our "primary educators"; we five attended public and Catholic schools. All of us have college degrees with three of us (so far) having post-graduate degrees. We are all married in the Catholic Church (no pride, just facts) and follow Church teaching. How did my parents 'succeed' in raising us? By God's grace and....

--- Our parents went to parent-teacher conferences and checked our homework. They walked the halls and knew who our friends were.

--- None of us attended sex education classes in public school. Yes, I was the one kid in 9th grade who sat in the library and wrote a paper on dolphins or something. 

--- My parents limited television and other media.

--- The library was our go-to entertainment, especially in the summertime.

--- We consistently ate dinner and worshiped together.

--- There were lots of books in our house. We saw our parents read and they also read aloud to us.

--- We saw our father studying for his Bachelor degree that he completed when he was 40 or so.

--- My parents weren't afraid to change schools for various reasons. This can be a hard thing (especially for the extreme introvert I was and am); I attended different schools every year from 5th to 10th grade. yes, that is 6 schools in 6 years. But my mother had her reasons. The funny thing is, I recently visited my hometown where my parents still are. I visited only 2 friends. One was a high school friend, but we became friends when we taught together in Slovakia. The other is a friend from 7th grade (if anyone knows any amazing Baptist man 35 to 42 or so, I would love to make a match for her- she is a lovely woman...)

--- They even opened our lockers!

--- They supplemented our public school education. I took a bit of ballet, voice, violin, and piano lessons. But we weren't crazy-busy (hence, the time to eat together as a family)

--- We were blessed to have room to play as children.

--- We were blessed to have an intact family. But even if you are doing it yourself through divorce or widowhood, it is still possible to be a 'primary educator.' You need a 'village.' Yes, it does take a village to raise a child, but it is the parents' right and responsibility to choose the inhabitants of their children's village.

Please add your ideas on how to be a 'primary educator' in the comment box!

Why is homeschooling blamed if a kid goes wrong?

If one blames homeschooling for the bad, shouldn't they give homeschooling credit for when things go right? But it doesn't seem to work this way in normal life. Homeschooling gets blamed if a person is socially-awkward. Well, I am still socially awkward and I went through conventional school as all normal people do and public universities. Homeschooling gets blamed if a kid cannot rattle off their multiplication tables in the coffee and doughnut room after church services, but I have yet to see a person demand multiplication tables from a conventionally-schooled child. 

I'm sorry for this 'vent.' It was my intention to write a breezy little missive on some nice educational activities for parents and children, homeschooled or not, but I keep running into comments like this one on a news article about a child at a public school, an article with no mention of schooling alternatives:

"And I applaud them for sending their children to a school rather than homeschooling. The interaction with other children their ages aids in making them well adjusted, helps with social skills, gives them a chance to be children with other children rather than growing up in an adult atmosphere 24/7."

Okay. I see no solution here. Homeschoolers are a minority, and it is usual for minorities of all categories to be disrespected, mistrusted and pushed aside.

I promise promise! Breezy missive coming tomorrow!

Why is homeschooling so offensive to some? plus our 2013-2014 semi-homeschool plan

"I am a public school teacher, and have seen many students who are home schooled. There is nothing wrong with homeschooling, but do not homeschool your children every year. Learning to socialize with others is very important to becoming a good citizen.

The US Marines will not accepts any recruit who was home schooled or attended a charter high school. Harvard also does not accept students who were home schooled.."

Someone in my 'Byzantine Catholic' group on Facebook wrote this when I asked a question about latinization and someone commented that they use a certain book series to teach catechism to their children. So, the teacher felt the need to warn Facebook about home education even when education wasn't the topic at hand. Strong feelings. why? 

I don't discuss the negative aspects of my public education or recent test scores in public education unless someone asks my opinion directly. I hate confrontation, and anyway- I am not the authority on their life! But there is something about homeschooling. Perhaps we are offensive against the collective.

There is just something about homeschooling that gets people irritated and nervous. Click on the 'homeschool' label below for my other posts on homeschooling. It really bothers many people that my children are not obsessed with 'One Direction'- and next year they will be annoyed that my children are not obsessed with whichever group is popular. 

Last week, an older acquaintance asked me if my children were "in class with lots of children...you know...because you used to homeschool...." And I just said yes. He has no right to personal information and my children are in (supplemental) classes (and park day and church services and choir and dance) with "lots of children." We were in a crowd, and I really didn't feel like divulging the ins and outs of each child's education plan. 

I'll share it here because my readers deserve the truth! (these are my children's middle names...pronounce every letter Italian-style...)

Maria- 14 years old, 9th grade- public high school connected to local community college, weekly meeting with 'mentor teacher' required, mostly independent work at home, required to take one college class each semester. Fall semester, she will take 3 hours of college intermediate ballet and 3 hours of college level choir weekly. She'll continue 2 hours of contemporary ballet and Shakespeare class every week outside of 'school'

Carolina- 13 years old, 8th grade- charter school/ homeschool, monthly meeting with mentor teacher, independent work at home, This will be a simple year for her with just 2 hours of ballet, 2 hours contemporary and a Shakespeare class outside of the house

Grigore- 6 years old, 1st grade- charter school/homeschool , monthly meeting with mentor teacher, etc, etc...I haven't decided on his outside activities yet

Georgeta- 4 years old, preschool- independent work- tap class- folding dish clothes

All four children will have a weekly 'park day' to be with friends as well as church activities Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays. I'll be teaching 4 evenings a week at the college. Our life is busy! 

But I didn't explain all this to the acquaintance  After I let him think that we will school traditionally, he breathed a sigh of relief  Even though he thinks my children are delightful and intelligent, he also thinks that homeschooling will leave them closed off from the world. They "must be OPEN to the world!!!" he exclaimed. His only child, recently out of jail, was conventionally-schooled, so he must be an expert. 

There are no guarantees with raising children; I just am curious why homeschooling is such a target. Heaven forbid if I judged anyone on conventionally-schooling their children!