A Married Priest in The Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of Saint Peter: a guest post

for more from Father Matthew Venuti, visit his blog- Father Father

Do you believe priests should be allowed to be married? Why do you believe this view?
This is not an easy yes or no question.  What needs to be understood from the outset is that there have always been married Catholic Priests.  Here is what Church (Canon) Law says about married priests:
"Clerical celibacy chosen for the sake of the kingdom of heaven and suited to the priesthood is to be greatly esteemed everywhere, as supported by the tradition of the whole Church; likewise, the hallowed practice of married clerics in the primitive Church and in the tradition of the Eastern Churches throughout the ages is to be held in honor.  Clerics, celibate or married, are to excel in the virtue of chastity; it is for the particular law to establish suitable means for pursuing this end. In leading family life and in educating children married clergy are to show an outstanding example to other Christian faithful."-Canons 373-375 of The Code of Canon of the Eastern Churches
The tradition in the west is that priests have been celibate, while in the East priests and deacons (but never bishops) have been ordained from among married men.  I do believe that there is a high value to the celibate priesthood in the West and I do not see a reason to change the rules for the celibate priesthood in the Latin Church.  The question as to whether or not priests in special circumstances such as the Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of Saint Peter should be married will need to be answered by the generation of men who will grow up in the church, such as my 1 year old son.  In summation, I do not see a reason for the rule of celibacy to changed in the normal Latin Rite dioceses of the West, but I do believe that the Church needs to do more work on thinking theologically about the values and detriments of the married priesthood in the Eastern Catholic Churches in the West and the Ordinariate.

How was being a married Episcopal priest different from being a married Roman Catholic priest?
Being a married Episcopal priest is equivalent to being a married Catholic Deacon in terms of work load and family integration.  Episcopal priests have at least 1, if not 2 days a week were they are not expected to be at church, say any services or be available to their parish unless there is an emergency.   As a Catholic priest I am expected to say Mass and pray the Liturgy of the Hours every day for the rest of my life and even on my one day off a week (Mondays) I am still expected to be at Church to say Mass.  Episcopal priests take care of far fewer people, as the Episcopal Church is much smaller.  When I was an Episcopal priest I was responsible for about 150 along with one other priest.  As a Catholic priest I help take care of about 700 people along with 2 other priests and a deacon.  Episcopal priests can also expect to retire in the early 70's, at which point they will be paid a comfortable salary and not be expected to have any further work in the Church, including worship services, unless they choose to.  As a Catholic Priest, I do not expect to have a retirement, as older priests are still expected to say mass and the Liturgy of the Hours daily and assist local parishes in weddings, funerals and confession even after they retire from active ministry.

Was the transition to the Catholic priesthood difficult on your marriage?
Being a priest, a husband and a father has certainly meant that my wife and I need to be flexible in our planning.  My priesthood essentially means that my wife can never work a full time job as she needs to be home for the children as my schedule is too unpredictable and busy that I cannot be the primary care taker.  As I am the only one with a full time job, it is my responsibility to support the family financially, and being a priest will never pay that well.  My wife and I have had to make sacrifices to make this all work out. 


What made you decide to become a Catholic priest?
I’m often asked why I decided to join the Catholic Church, and specifically, why I joined the Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of Saint Peter.
The simple answer is that I came to understand through the grace of God that the Catholic Church was the Church Jesus Himself founded and He wished us all to be one.  Once I came to that conclusion, I needed to join the Catholic Church for the love of God.
For some reason people usually respond to that answer with “OK, but are you sure you didn’t really join because you couldn’t live with A, or you don’t believe in B?”  Maybe this is a common response because we as a society have become so polarized that we only know how to define ourselves in negative terms.  I’m against this.  I won’t do that.  I won’t let them do this.
For me, coming into full communion has been an experience of positives.  I have been drawn closer to God.  I feel more at peace.  I love the faith handed down to me.
While Leo XIII could not find that our Anglican orders were valid Catholic orders, he wished to put that all aside to let us Anglicans know how much the Church desired us.  He wrote “Assuredly, with an exceeding great joy, their Mother, the Church, will welcome them, and will cherish with all her love and care those whom the strength of their generous souls has, amidst many trials and difficulties, led back to her bosom. Nor could words express the recognition which this devoted courage will win for them from the assemblies of the brethren throughout the Catholic world, or what hope or confidence it will merit for them before Christ as their Judge, or what reward it will obtain from Him in the heavenly kingdom!” (from the oft forgotten concluding section of Apostolicae Curae)
The Catholic Church yearned for the return of her children to her home.  Like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son, this was not about coming to a new place to argue or to build a fortress to fight a war, but an embrace between long separated family who love each other.
So why the Catholic Church and the Ordinariate? For love.


Do you find that dealing with married couples easy because you yourself are married?
Most of the priests I know who are celibate give very good marriage advice because they understand what it means to give your body and soul to someone else.  My marriage certainly informs my marriage advice, but I don't know that it makes it any better advice than my celibate brother priests.  I do think, however, that some people find me easy to approach about marriage and family issues because I am married.

How does your wife help you in your priestly duties?
My wife helps my ministry in many ways.  She assists at our small mission community for the Ordinariate by serving as the treasurer, being a lector, being a part of the altar guild and by assisting in RCIA teaching.  She supports me in prayer, gives me advice and does the bigger share of the work at home so that I can fulfill my priestly duties.

Does having a wife distract you from your priestly duties? 
No.  I don't know how to be a priest without being married, and as we were joined in the Sacrament of Matrimony, we do this together.  Certainly I have more responsibilities at home than most celibate priests, but this is not a distraction, it is simply the two vocations that God has given me working in tandem in order to serve Him.  

Is it difficult having your own family as well as your parish family?
The difficulty for me will always be time management.  The priesthood demands my attention 24/7, so there will always be priestly responsibilities that will mean time spent at the parish instead of with my family.  I suspect most fathers have more time away from their job to spend with their family than I do.  

What are the difficulties of being a married priest?
The biggest difficulty my family faces is the lack of advice out there.  There are maybe 150 married priests in the Latin Rite of the Church, so instead of getting advice on many things we have to simply figure things out on our own.

How does being married provide advantages in your priestly duties?
Again, as I have never been a celibate priest, I cannot compare and contrast.  I will say that my family helps me understand God better than I did as a single man before ministry.  God comes to us as a Trinity of Persons in a Divine relationship, and I believe that both marriage and fatherhood help me better understand God's relationship with humanity.

How do other Catholic priests respond to you being allowed to become a Roman Catholic priest even though you were married? 
I have never encountered anything other than love and respect from my fellow priests.  Most of the priests of the Archdiocese of Mobile have gone out of their way to make sure I feel welcome, supported and loved by my fellow priests.  Interestingly enough, the only resistance I have faced about my marriage is from lay people who do not believe that the Holy Father was wrong to allow me to be ordained.  Fellow priests and seminarians have in fact told me that seeing my life has made them surer about their call to celibacy!

Do you think more men would answer the call to the Catholic priesthood if they were allowed to marry?
Absolutely not.  The Eastern Catholic Churches that allow married priests do not have more men becoming priests than the Latin Rite Church.  Comparing numbers of vocations in the Eastern and Western Churches it does not seem make a difference whether celibacy is required in term of the men discerning a vocation the priesthood.   Priesthood is a vocation, and not a job that one elects; rather, God calls men to it.  The vast majority of men and women of the world are called to a vocation of marriage and parenthood, living out holy lives sacrificing for each other for the good of each other's souls.  A married priesthood would not change this.  It also important to note that vocation in the United States are on the rise, in fact, for the first time in half a century there a men being told they can't come to seminary yet because there is not enough room for them at the school!

Green Jelly Beans & Dust Bunnies: Trying to Raise Great 'Wait' Kids in a Crazy 'Now' World

It was their dad's birthday this weekend. There would be cake after the Saturday vigil and the Sunday late morning Divine Liturgies. We have been in the thick of Easter celebrations, so sugary treats have been in abundance. 

Saturday morning, I decided to sweep under the sofa in the living room. To be honest, moving the sofa forward and doing a deep sweep probably happens every two weeks. I guess this time, I let it go three weeks. 

There was some monstrous dust bunnies, random trash, some Lego I saved and two old Easter jelly beans. I was very clear with my boy that he could not pick up the jelly beans. I reminded him that he doesn't eat trash. I reminded him that he would be eating cake in just a few hours. 

I turned away to pick up the dust pan. Looking at the trash pile, I could see that there were still two jelly beans on the floor, but Boy's lips were turning a horrid shade of green. He had spied a third bean that had rolled out of sight. What an industrious, naughty boy! I had to lay down the law; I told him he would not be eating any birthday cake that evening, but he had better be singing for his daddy's birthday- cake or not.

Daddy was more merciful than I. He amended the punishment by allowing Boy to eat some cake the next morning after his breakfast egg. It was not easy for Boy to sit there with a (extraordinarily delicious) fresh fruit salad while his friends were eating chocolate cake.  In the morning, he got his cake with some whipped cream. I asked him if it tasted better than a dusty jelly bean. He admitted it did.

precious puppies, cute kittens & popes: we need an internet oasis- 7 quick takes

1. Have you explored Catholic Memes?

It has been a hard week. I need a laugh. Read this site- Keep a sense of humor- you might like it...
2. May I suggest the site Godvine for inspiration? It's filled with stories and videos- many of which are appropriate for older children.

3. And if you need even more inspiration, watch The Butterfly Circus

4. For readers via Conversion Diary, I invite you to click over to my girls' guest post "Being a Catholic Priest's Kid."- they were excited to write this post...maybe next time I will have my husband write a guest post...

5. Puppies!

6. Kittens!
7.The Catholic Church is not a secret society. The Vatican website has all the encyclicals at your fingertips. Have you read the documents of the Vatican II Council? I suspect the women screaming at my husband lately have not; there is nothing there that declares women should be Catholic clergy. The new catechism is here; it is very understandable for someone who is willing to learn.  I like to go here for different translations of the Bible. My favorite 'internet oasis' is pray as you go- a daily podcast with music, Bible readings and reflections. I also like to stay informed with National Catholic Register, Life Site News, and Catholic Culture, but I wouldn't call them oases. 

many more 'quick takes' posts at conversion diary!

A Grammatical Primer to the Eastern Churches- a guest post

"To count the terms used in theology as of primary importance, and to endeavor to trace out the hidden meaning in every phrase and in every syllable, is a characteristic wanting in those who are idle in the pursuit of true religion, but distinguishing all who get knowledge of the mark of our calling...The beginning of teaching is speech." --St. Basil the Great, On the Holy Spirit I.2

"I've often written here of the need to reclaim the Church's bipulmonary nature, that is, the fact that she has two lungs, as Pope Bl. John Paul II loved to say, the West and the East.  I've recently realized that just having people mention the Eastern Church is not enough (though it is certainly a great start): people must also know what they're talking about in regards to Eastern Christianity.  One of the greatest aspects that needs to be cleared up is simply the matter of terminology.  Thus I here attempt to give a quick grammatical primer on terms that are often jumbled up by those sincerely wishing to do justice to the Church's bipulmonary nature.  My goal is not to condemn those who inadvertently misuse language, but to instruct them and call them on to the correct use.  Why does this matter?  Because laziness with language, even if unintentional, feels somewhat like a lack of caring for the Eastern Church.  I might be too sensitive, but I hope this primer will help either way.  Any incorrect information given here is strictly due to my own faults.

Churches and Rites 

Eastern Church = a very wide term, encompassing the Christian traditions rooted in the areas of (from roughly West to East) Eastern Europe, Greece, Egypt, Ethiopia, the Middle East (Syria, Lebanon, Antioch, Jerusalem, etc.), the Ukraine, Russia, and India.  This includes both the Eastern Catholic Churches (Ruthenians (Byzantine Catholics), Ukrainian Catholics, Melkites, Maronites, etc.), the Eastern Orthodox Churches (Greek Orthodox, Russian Orthodox, Serbian Orthodox, etc.), and the Oriental Orthodox Churches (Assyrian Church of the East, Coptic Orthodox, Ethiopian Orthodox (Tewahedo), etc.).  

Church = not the Church, but a particular Church; a Church is a Christian community that has retained apostolic succession and thus has valid Sacraments (Mysteries).  Thus the Eastern Orthodox and Oriental Orthodox Churches are rightly called Churches (I'll get to the Eastern Catholic Churches' specific designation below), while those Christian denominations that resulted from the Protestant Reformation and other such movements are referred to as "ecclesial communities" because they lack valid Sacraments. 

Oriental Orthodox Churches = those Eastern Churches that accept only the first three Ecumenical Councils (Nicea, Constantinople, Ephesus) and do not accept the authority of the Pope of Rome.  They are also known as "non-Chalcedonian" Churches because they do not accept the Fourth Ecumenical Council, the Council of Chalcedon.  They are also called "monophysite," "of one nature," (though at least some of them prefer the term "miaphysite," "of mixed nature") because they do not accept the doctrine of Chalcedon about the dual natures, human and divine, of Christ.

Eastern Orthodox Churches = those Eastern Churches that accept only the first seven Ecumenical Councils (Nicea, Constantinople, Ephesus, Chalcedon, II Constantinople, III Constantinople, II Nicea) and do not accept the authority of the Pope of Rome.  

Eastern Catholic Churches = those Eastern Churches that accept all 21 Ecumenical Councils (see other sources for a list) and accept the authority of the Pope of Rome.    

Sui iuris = self-governing.  This is a term applied to Eastern Catholic Churches (and, in rare occasions, to some missions).  The term (at least applied to Churches) seems to be an innovation of the 1990 Code of the Canons of Oriental Churches (CCEO), and all that this document says is that "A group of Christian faithful united by a hierarchy according to the norm of law which the supreme authority of the Church expressly or tacitly recognizes as sui iuris is called in this Code a Church sui iuris" (CCEO, can. 27).  As a general idea, what sui iuris means is that each particular Church governs almost entirely on its own, with only certain powers being held solely by the Pope of Rome.  (This is a somewhat poor description of sui iuris, but part of that is because there is little magesterial or other official ecclesial documentation on the term, from what I can find.)

Rite = "the liturgical, theological, spiritual and disciplinary patrimony, culture and circumstance of history of a distinct people, by which its own manner of living the faith is manifested in each Church sui iuris" (CCEO, can. 28 §1).  There are five Eastern rites: Alexandrian, Antiochene (West Syriac), Armenian, Chaldean (East Syriac), and Constantinopolitan (Byzantine) (cf. CCEO, can. 28 §2).  These rites (except for the Armenian rite) each are manifested in multiple Churches sui iuris: i.e. Greek Catholics, Melkites, and Ruthenian Catholics are all within the Byzantine Rite, and Maronites and Syro-Malankara Catholics are both within the Antiochene Rite.  (As a side note, there are also multiple Western rites, such as Ambrosian and Carthusian, apart from the Roman Rite).

Byzantine Catholics = a term used in multiple ways.  It is used to refer to 1. Catholics who belong to any of the Churches that use the Byzantine Rite, 2. any Eastern Catholics (which is most definitely an incorrect usage of the term), or 3. Catholics that are a part of the Ruthenian Catholic Church, now usually referred to as the Byzantine Catholic Church, under jurisdiction in the U.S. of the Byzantine Catholic Metropolia of Pittsburgh.  The main confusion comes about due to the Ruthenian Church's shift in terminology to referring to themselves often as Byzantine Catholics to reduce their ethnic specificity.  While a good thing in its expansion of the Eastern Christian tradition beyond its ethnic homelands, it does cause confusion in terminology.

Hierarchy

Patriarch = A bishop who governs all other bishops and other faithful within his particular Church, but who is also given a special title of honor that gives them precedence of honor over all other bishops (after the Pope of Rome, of course).  The tradition of patriarchs is rooted in the early Church with its pentarchy of great sees: Rome, Constantinople, Alexandria, Antioch, and Jerusalem, all of which had patriarchs (though the Patriarch of Rome was the Pope).  The title of patriarch has now expanded to other sees, and in the Eastern Catholic Churches at the moment, there are six patriarchs.  The title is one of a special honor on top of the governing power that any head of a particular Church has.  (For more details on patriarch, see the long section in the CCEO, can. 55-150.)

Major Archbishop = A bishop who governs all other bishops and other faithful within his particular Church, but does not have the title of patriarch.  Major archbishops have precedence of honor after patriarchs.  (For more details, see CCEO, can. 151-154).

Metropolitan = A bishop who governs all other bishops within his see, called a metropolia.  They can sometimes be the head of an entire particular Church (a metropolitan Church sui iuris), but they are not necessarily so.  They are equivalent to an archbishop in the Roman Church, and the metropolia is equivalent to an archdiocese.  (For details on metropolitan churches sui iuris, see CCEO, can. 155-173.)

Eparchy = The Eastern equivalent to the Roman diocese.

Liturgy

Liturgy = The Church's official public worship.  The term includes more than just the celebration of the Sacraments: it also includes rituals such as the Divine Office (Liturgy of the Hours) and funeral rites, among many others.  A liturgy is any service of official public worship performed by the Church.

Holy Mysteries = The common term in the Eastern Church for the Sacraments.

Eucharistic Liturgy = A liturgy that involves the consecration of the Eucharist.  This includes not just the Mass, but liturgies such as the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom (Byzantine Rite) and the Holy Qurbana of Addai and Mari (Antiochene Rite).  A service that only includes distribution of the Eucharist (such as the Liturgy of the Pre-Sanctified Gifts in the Byzantine Rite) would not, I think, merit this name.

Sacred Liturgy = Another term for Eucharistic Liturgy.

Divine Liturgy = The Eucharistic Liturgy of the Byzantine Rite, which comes in two forms, the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom and the Divine Liturgy of St. Basil the Great.  (There is also a very infrequently-used form called the Divine Liturgy of St. James.)  The Armenian Rite also uses the term for their Eucharistic Liturgy.

Mass = The Eucharistic Liturgy of the Roman Rite.  It is also sometimes applied to other Eucharistic Liturgies of the Western Church, such as the Ambrosian Rite, Mozarabic Rite, Sarum Rite, and others.  In addition, the term is used for the Eucharistic Liturgies of Western Rite Orthodox Churches and for the liturgies of some Protestant Churches.  This is not the same as the Divine Liturgy: the terms should not be used interchangeably, for that shows, at least in some manner, a disrespect for the legitimate liturgical differences between the Roman Rite and other rites.  Using the term Mass for the Eucharistic Liturgies of the Eastern Rites smacks of the "Latinization" of the past, which, in its harshest extremes, tried to make the Eastern Catholic Churches into Roman Catholics who spoke a different language.  Please respect the legitimate liturgical diversity that enriches the Church (see the Catechism of the Catholic Church #1200-1209)."- reposted from Treasures of the Church with permission

When Your Baby is in the NICU

Jen of Conversion Diary just had a baby, and he is hanging out in the NICU for awhile. My fourth baby stayed there for five weeks, so I have experience! Here are some random tips, Jen:

1- Remember that you are postpartum! It takes me a month to feel slightly normal...I know it is hard, but get some sleep and recover from your ordeal! Jen has a big family- call in favors and have someone watch the kids for two hours a day and then sleep.....also, expect to feel the typical weepiness- anything more, consult your doctor. Having a baby in the NICU makes things worse- anxiety is something to watch for as well as depression.

2- Get the phone number of the NICU and call twice a day to meet the nurse that is in charge of your baby for the next twelve hours. Find out when the nurses do 'rounds' and try to not call during this time. Normally, rounds are 6 to 7 or 7 to 8 (both am and pm). 

3- For babies that will be hanging out in the NICU for a long time, buy some cute onesies and leave them there. Normally nurses loves to dress the babies. If your baby is in the covered incubator and/or respirator, let the nurses dress him/her in hospital grade stuff. Our baby also had a doll in her bed- make sure it is washable and write your baby's name on it in Sharpie. Normally, they will give you the onesies and dolls to wash, but I didn't want to lose the doll.

4- Write down your baby's progress whether you are visiting or calling. This will reassure you when you wake up panicked in the middle of the night. For early babies, an important milestone is the baby's weight. Ask for the weight twice a day and write it down. You will not remember the last weight, so write it down! For other babies, you might be focused on bowel movements, oxygen levels and/or feeding. Write it down! Write down questions you have- you will forget when that doctor is in front of you (I know I did)

isn't she sweet?!

5- Make sure your baby is registered as a Catholic (if applicable, readers). If you are afraid for your baby's health, have the baby baptized and anointed. You can have the baptism party when baby comes home. Our baby was small (32 weeks, 4 pounds), but healthy. I was the sick one, so we felt confident in waiting for sacraments. We still had her identified as Catholic and had some holy cards taped to her bed. I liked that the nurses 'knew' her in that way.

6- Be kind to the nurses (cookies, brownies, flowers) but demand optimal care for your baby. Ask that the nurses write things down for you. If your baby has a bad day- maybe she lost weight or had an oxygen episode- have the doctor explain everything to you or your husband and write things down. If you are sick and your husband is taking care of 20 children during his paternity 'vacation,' maybe an aunt can be given permission to speak to nurses. 

7- Don't feel guilty like I did if your baby is doing well. Our baby was born in my husband's hospital. She was healthy- just small. She was fat compared to the other babies. So I didn't communicate as much as I should have. I didn't even know that there was a breast pump in the room where I could take the baby (who was on a feeding tube)...I was trying hard to be 'good' because it is my husband's hospital AND I have yelled at doctors before- supposedly I yelled at a doctor before my first daughter got her appendix out at four years of age. I don't remember this- but anxiety can get the better of us. It's a balance. 

8- Take advantage of any services the chaplains and social workers have to offer. Whenever a friend asks 'what can I do,' tell them to bring milk and paper plates or have their kids play in the back yard with your kids with their mom supervising and you sleeping...Never say no to a meal. Just because the baby is not with the family yet does not mean that you don't need help. It is a good idea to stockpile meals in the freezer, however. It will get crazy when baby comes home. 

9- Don't ignore your husband and your other children, but make them understand that the littlest is the big priority right now! And just because you don't have to wake up every hour to take care of the baby does not mean that you can run around like a crazy person! You are postpartum and have worries about the newest member of the family. Do your best to pump....not an easy task....and recover from pregnancy. Involve the other children in making preparations for the baby's homecoming. 

10- Consider having your husband split his time off from work- one week postpartum to help momma and one week when baby comes home so he can help with the adjustment. 

finally! 5 weeks later (not quite her due date)-home at 6.5 lbs

11- Don't forget to offer up your anxieties and frustrations for those who cannot have babies or who didn't get to take baby home....

St. Gerard, who, like the Savior, loved children so tenderly and by your prayers freed many from disease and even death, listen to us who are pleading for our sick child. We thank God for the great gift of our son (daughter) and ask him to restore our child to health if such be his holy will. This favor, we beg of you through your love for all children and mothers. Amen.

Readers- If you have experience with a child in the NICU- please add your wisdom in the comment box below! I'm sure I am missing a lot