Fear Not Little Flock

Food Glorious Food - 7 QuickTakes

2012-03-02T08:37:00.002-08:00

1. I really shouldn't look at recipes when I'm hungry- this recipe for Black Bean Chipotle Soup sounds divine. I like a little spice in my meals, but I can't go too wild or the children won't eat much of it. A bit of chipotle is about all they can take.

with avocado, who needs meat? uh-oh- that isn't embracing the spirit of the fast....

2. This looks like a great crockpot recipe. I usually saute my peppers, onions and garlic before I use them in a recipe. It's time to change my method to a quicker way. Be sure to click over to Father Deacon Moses' site! He promised 3 recipes a week during the great Lent (hint, hint- Fr Deacon).

3. for easy Indian-style food- go to Trader Joe's. My favorite vegan offering is the masala veggie burger (mostly potatoes- I'm going to attempt own version by consulting the ingredient list) and my favorite meatless is the palak paneer.

4. Does anyone have a good recipe (muffins?) to use leftover oatmeal?

Grandma in the old country can make anything

5. What do you do with a block of mozzarella cheese from the gleaners, a boboli pizza crust from a friend who delivers old bread to food pantries, a container of crumbled blue cheese from the 99cent store (score!) and an onion found at the bottom of the bin? You make the most delicious gourmet pizza that daughter #2 would never touch! I sauteed the onion in thin strips until it was caramelized. Then, I put grated mozzarella on the pizza bread and distributed the onions on top. The blue cheese got sprinkled quite liberally before I put it in a hot oven for about 15 minutes. This pizza would rival anything Wolfgang Puck has made (I suppose a handmade crust would have improved it), and it cost me less than 2 dollars!

6. I've been looking at websites for more meatless and vegan ideas. The site vegan yumyum has gorgeous photos, but I am very wary of all the soy. Maybe I could just substitute almond milk? Veggiebelly has both types of recipes, and it doesn't depend on meat substitutes. I think that if a person can occasionally eat cheese or yogurt they don't feel the need to eat a soy hotdog. What is your favorite site for meatless recipes?

7. a link not about food- but about homeschooling, parenting and everything in between- it is not easy being a mom, trying to make the best decisions for the entire family!

find more quick takes at conversiondiary.com

A Daybook for March

2012-03-01T10:54:00.004-08:00

Outside my window...I could get all romantic and talk about orange blossoms...but outside my window is an old baby mattress (used by three children) that needs to be recycled and scattered megablocks along with a whining cat who needs to be fed.

I am thinking...that I need to find a powerhouse vitamin to help me with my chronic fatigue. Does anyone have any favorites that work well? Please leave a comment and share your opinion!

I am thankful...that the pipe problem (we'll just leave it at that) seems to be temporarily under control.

In the kitchen...whole wheat tortillas with beans and salsa...I always revert to Mexican-style during meatless times. I'd like to get better at Central European-type cooking. I love Indian food, but the kids aren't that enamored of it. We have leftover vegetable soup for dinner; I'll probably throw in some beans and change the herbs to make it a different soup than yesterday. Do you think they'll be fooled?

I am wearing...a green top (my favorite color), dark grey pants, and floral Sanita clogs.

I am creating...piles to put away but mostly to throw away and give away...so I guess it is more like un-creating.

I am going...to sew for next week's 'Crafters for Life' meeting. We hope to meet at the PP clinic to pray with 40 Days for Life.

I am wondering...how I am going to help host a visiting priest from the old country for three months in this little townhouse.

I am reading...a few Lenten resources that I might blog about at a later date.

I am hoping...that gas prices can somehow go down. It is really hurting us and some friends that drive for a living.

I am looking forward to...watching The Hunger Games by myself- I don't think anyone in my circle would enjoy it.

I am learning...how to knit again. I was never good at it- but my second daughter inspires me with her dedication to learning crochet.

Around the house...we are preparing for the big girls' Shakespeare production of A Winter's Tale this Sunday.

I am pondering...balance.

A favorite quote for today...
"Fasting without prayer and almsgiving is merely dieting. Almsgiving without prayer and fasting is merely philanthropy. Prayer without fasting and almsgiving is merely hypocricy." (about Lent)

One of my favorite things...4 year old boys who give "squishy hugs."

A few plans for the rest of the week: make a meal for a mother with 10 kids, plan for our visitor, help the girls through their Shakespeare play, get daughter #1 ready for her state-mandated essay test...it is a busy week!

A SHOCKING Byzantine Secret!

2012-02-27T16:14:00.001-08:00

Sometimes it seems as if the division between East and West is insurmountable. We say 'Alleluia' during Lent; the West does not. The West trembles at a few days with no meat during Lent while those in the East are 'liberal' if they partake on Sundays and then are in danger of falling into pride if they are successful with the fast. The West prays the stations of the cross while the East prays the Liturgy of the Presanctified Gifts.

One might think that this 'communion service' would be a quick devotion, but like most things in the East, there is nothing quick about it. The more I am able to participate in this service, the more I learn. It is a great opportunity for Eucharistic adoration during the Lenten season.

One reason why this Byzantine (and Orthodox) liturgy is so special is that it actually a sign of the unity in liturgical Christianity. The Presanctified Liturgy is attributed to St Gregory. Which St. Gregory, you ask? St Gregory Nazianzen, also known as the Theologian and friend of St Basil the Great? St Gregory of Nyssa, brother to the same? No- it was St Gregory the Dialogue- better known as St Gregory the Great, Pope of Rome. A bishop of Rome wrote a liturgy that we in the East pray with great devotion. This should be an open door for unity.

"St. Gregory's family had large land holdings in Italy, which St. Gregory sold to help the poor following his father's death. After turning his home into a monastery named for St. Andrew, Pope Pelagius II appointed him as an ambassador to Constantinople; however, Gregory disliked the worldly atmosphere of the court and never learned Greek. After his consecration as Bishop of Rome on September 3, 590, he negotiated a peace with the Lombards, who besieged Rome, and he dispatched St. Augustine of Canterbury to evangelize Britain.

He is known in the East as Gregory the Dialogist for his four-volume Dialogues, in which he wrote of the lives and miracles of the saints of Italy and of the afterlife. It is the primary source of the lives of St. Benedict of Nursia and his sister Scholastica. He was a patron of ancient Western chant, often called "Gregorian chant" for his patronage. In the East, the Liturgy of the Presanctified Gifts celebrated during Lent commemorates St. Gregory as its author. St. Gregory reposed on March 12, 604. " (excerpted from orthodoxwiki)

7 SuperQuickTakes- Random Thoughts on Lent

2012-02-23T20:51:00.001-08:00

1. Byzantine Catholics normally begin the season with Forgiveness Vespers on Monday while Roman-rite Catholics begin on Wednesday with the administering of ashes.

2. The weekdays of the great Lent are aliturgical. During the week we have different services like vespers and the Presanctified Liturgy of St Gregory on Wednesdays and Fridays. This 'communion service' can only be performed by a priest and is just as long as a normal divine Liturgy. A text of this Liturgy (with some Catholic changes) can be found here.

3. One of my favorite portions of the Presanctified Liturgy is when we make profound bows and sing "Let my prayer rise as incense before you, and let the lifting up of my hands be an evening sacrifice." The Byzantine Lent is filled with prostrations and profound bows.

4. Byzantine Catholics sing Alleluia during Lent! This can be quite shocking to a Roman-rite Catholic. It has never disturbed me because the music style tends toward the minor keys, so it is a solemn alleluia.

5. I always miss the Roman-rite Easter vigil. 28 years ago or so, my family entered the Church during this Mass. This is really the only day of the year I wish I could visit a different church, but this week is the busiest of the year besides Christmas. It just isn't possible to get to another Mass. So, if you are Roman-rite, enjoy this Mass for me!

6. Here is a link from a Ukrainian Byzantine Catholic Church. Scroll down until you get to the descriptions of Holy Week and Easter. I couldn't say it better myself, so I won't. There's some great information there.

7.The fasting guidelines are stricter in the Byzantine rite, but can be changed with the guidance of a spiritual father. But I've talked about that until I am blue in the face...I have got to go soak some beans. ;)

an interesting bonus link: The Courage to be Ourselves- an important message from 1970

find more quick takes at Conversiondiary.com

Meatless Meals for Manly Men (replay)

2012-02-21T19:52:00.000-08:00

...beyond mac and cheese...

1. bean & rice tacos- prepare beans & rice (I prefer black beans and medium grain brown rice), add some salt, cumin, paprika and chili powder and use the mixture instead of meat for your favorite Mexican-style dish. Offer shredded lettuce, chopped tomatoes, black olives, sour cream and cheese to put in tacos- easy to keep vegan if you omit the sour cream and cheese. You could have soy versions of the milk products- We use soy only once a week because of potential health concerns.

2.grilled vegetable kebabs- use any favorite vegetables- try to use 'rich' vegetables that will 'stick to his ribs.' I like mushrooms, zucchini, onion, sweet peppers, broccoli, parboiled carrots- sprinkle with salt and garlic powder and grill; serve with any quick grain like couscous, quinoa or lentils. Another very easy idea- spread some barbecue sauce on both sides of a big portobello mushroom and grill- this is better than a hamburger!

3. baked anything- Here is a priest's wife guarantee - Use onions and garlic and some olive oil- put whatever it is in the oven- he will love it! Try pasta primavera (pasta, any favorite vegetables along with artichokes, onions, a bit of garlic, some cherry tomatoes, green peas, and red peppers for color. Then put in baking dish and cover with bread crumbs and drizzle with olive oil. Sprinkle with basil and oregano. Broil until top is browned)

4. vegetable stew- Cut onion and sweet peppers into chunks; begin to saute while you peel carrots and potatoes. Add carrots and potatoes cut into chunks; cover with water. Add can of tomato sauce. Bring to boil and then add a cup of frozen peas and a cup of frozen corn. Put on low and then add 3 cloves of minced garlic, freshly chopped Italian parsley and dry oregano to taste.

5. anything breaded and fried- cheese, mushrooms, cauliflower (parboil first), eggplant (peel, dip in a bit of egg only). Dip in egg and then bread crumbs- then fry quickly in grapeseed oil, turning once. I am going to try to do a vegan version using almond milk before the bread crumbs.

6. bean soup- start with sauteing a chopped onion, add chopped celery and carrots, and go from there. I try to add a chopped red pepper for color - Use lentils if you are pressed for time or forgot to soak the beans last night. I try to have Italian parsley and fresh dill on hand. Add garlic. Bean soup is good with sour cream if the day isn't vegan.

7. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches- this is what priest-husband got for lunch today. He didn't grow up with pb and j sandwiches, so it doesn't make him feel like a little kid. This is my go-to lunch for Wednesdays and Fridays during Lent (it really should be a year-round but I don't like them that much). It is really the ideal fast food especially when he has to be driving around lunch time- I'll make it up at dinnertime with something more yummy.

I hope I have sparked some ideas here- Most men really prefer to be carnivores, so it can be a big adjustment for them if they are trying to be as meatless as possible during the fasting season. If your family isn't attempting to be vegan- it is not that bad because anything tastes better with cheese and sour cream- I tried almond milk for the first time this week and can I tell you- I am never going back to soy! And- don't forget hummus- it really is the best snack using favorite vegetables as dippers (we like snow peas)---one more thing wives--- don't forget to 'offer' a good multi-vitamin (and aspirin if he is giving up caffeinated beverages) to your dear one as it will help his body through this seasonal adjustment. Giving up animal products can deplete the body of Vitamin B- and then he will be exhausted. We don't want that!

What are you giving up for Lent?

2012-02-20T10:43:00.000-08:00

Whenever my priest husband gets asked this question, there is this little gleam in his eye. I know what he is going to say in response, "I'm not giving anything up!" He'll wait a beat or two to allow the questioner's mouth to gape open a bit, scandalized that such a faithful priest wouldn't give something up for the Great Fast.

Then he will continue to answer the question in full. "During Lent we are trying to unite ourselves to Christ and His passion through fasting, charitable works and increased prayer, so I'm going to _______ during these forty days. How do you feel called to observe this time?" And then, the questioner usually says something about giving up chocolate.

Now, there is nothing wrong with giving up chocolate. Renouncing a favorite food can be a really effective reminder of which season we are in- rather like a rubber band around the wrist that one uses for behavior modification. It's just important to keep the focus on Christ and trying to be more like Him. Besides following my rite's guidelines for the fast and increased prayer, I am trying to DO more this season- like bring out the sewing machine to work with the girls or color with and read more to the little ones. As a 'lazy, low-energy introvert,' it will be a challenge to do these positive things when practical cooking and cleaning is calling my name, but they are important.

7 QuickTakes on Fasting, Prayer and Almsgiving for Lent

2012-02-17T17:05:00.000-08:00

For those of us on the 'new' calendar, the Great Fast/ Lent is coming really soon- Monday, February 20th for most Byzantine Catholics and Orthodox in the United States and Wednesday, February 22nd for all Roman-rite Catholics. Here are a few random thoughts...

1- "But thou, when thou fastest anoint thy head, and wash thy face." Douay-Rheims (Mt 6:17) Byzantine Catholics and Orthodox take this literally by not starting the fast with ashes on our forehead. We start with 'forgiveness vespers.' I'm not here to tell Roman-rite Catholics and other Christians to change their tradition. It was one of my favorite sacramentals of the year when I was Episcopalian and Roman-rite. Symbolically, this verse means that fasting should be 'done on the sly' and not for the admiration of others.

2- Ash Wednesday can be an amazing way to begin this important season. "Remember man, you are dust and to dust you shall return." Whoa, repent and sin no more, everybody! It will be my husband's busiest day of the year, distributing ashes at his hospital and helping local priests distribute at their parishes. More people will 'get their ashes' than will attend church services at Christmas or Easter. Many 'get their ashes' and then go visit their grandmother to assure her that heaven is assured if their death comes this year. This is where non-liturgical Christians guffaw and say that we also should 'love Jesus and hate religion' because of the superstitious nature of so many believers. Anyway, if you see a friend with ashes, invite to Sunday Mass. Maybe they need a friend to be a mentor.

3- the next verse continues: "That thou appear not to men to fast, but to thy Father who is in secret: and thy Father who seeth in secret, will repay thee." This is where we all need work. It can be hard to fast and not be a little grumpy, but if we can fast with a smile on our faces, we are also taking control of our pride. If someone asks us how you are observing this season, feel free to share. Otherwise, no one should be aware that there are changes for you during Lent.

4- If we are fasting in secret, this means one needs to accept hospitality that we might not otherwise want. We are going meatless for the season and vegan on Wednesdays and Fridays. If we are guests in a home, I am not going to refuse what someone serves me. If they ask if we have dietary restrictions (there are thankfully no allergies in the family), I will mention that 'we are trying not to eat meat...' In this way, I am not making it overly complicated with insisting on a vegan meal and also keeping the door open to accepting whatever they serve. This season is about repentance, cooling of the passions and humility- announcing how we are fasting could lead to pride which defeats the purpose.

5- So if fasting should develop virtue- a person who feels called to a 'monastic-style' fast (perhaps very small amounts of only vegan food for the entire season) may need to forgo this if it would cause strife in the family. In a mixed marriage (perhaps Orthodox/Roman-rite Catholic or Protestant/Byzantine-rite Catholic) one spouse might be more inclined to have a strict fast and insist that the other spouse and the children need to adhere to how they interpret the fasting season. I suggest that the 'strict' spouse speak to a solid spiritual father. I wouldn't be surprised if the spiritual father encourages the spouse to a more balanced fast, asking the 'liberal' spouse to simply fast from meat on Fridays as a compromise and then adhere to a stricter style when away from the home.

6- "All things are lawful to me, but all things are not expedient. All things are lawful to me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." (1 Cor 6:6) "Wherefore, if meat scandalize my brother, I will never eat flesh, lest I should scandalize my brother" (1 Cor 8:13). So fasting from meat and other things doesn't mean that they are evil; this is just one way to 'refresh' the soul (with increased prayer and almsgiving/service being the other two sides of the triangle)at this important time. The Great Fast is the "tithe of the year"- and we owe this time to God to remind ourselves that the entire year is His.
Another interpretation of these verses might also be- fast from meat in front of people in order not to scandalize them- do what is best for you (eat meat/animal products) when you are alone. To a certain point, there is some truth to this. If one needs to eat meat for medical reasons, there is still no reason to order a big steak when the rest of the group is fasting from meat. Even a pregnant woman can wait to indulge in non-fasting food so that the fast isn't so difficult for the rest of the people. But the fast becomes a lie when one does an 'Orthodox' fast in public and then eats non-fasting food in private. It would be best to be honest and just eat that hamburger.

7- Why is this fast such a big deal? There are many people who eat vegan-only all year long for only health or the environment. We have Jesus and His passion as inspiration for this fast. So I am trying to make this fast easier than past years. I started with cleaning out the refrigerator and buying plenty of fast-appropriate ingredients. I stay away from soy (the health benefits/risks just aren't clear) except for tofu about once a week, so we use almond and rice milk when needed. And I am making a meal plan (I'll post it up at the 'fasting' tab) that I will repeat every week for the fast period. We might get bored with repetition, but that is part of the point. And because the other two sides of Lent are almsgiving/service and prayer, we are stepping up our Crafters for Life/40 Days for Life activities and family prayer life. I'm looking forward to this "tithe of the year"- I need it!

more quick takes at conversiondiary.com

Giveaway Winners!

2012-02-15T17:11:00.000-08:00

Here's the winners of the Lenten giveaway!

Sliwka

Kim (Byzymom)

& Patrick

Send me an address to remnantofremnant@gmail.com & expect a little something in the mail.

Prayers for a Worthy Communion- series on the Divine Liturgy

2012-02-14T03:00:00.000-08:00

At this point in the Divine Liturgy, we've experienced the epistle and Gospel readings and the consecration of the Most Holy Eucharist. We've sung to the Theotokos. Now, we are preparing for a worthy reception of the Eucharist with the following litany and more- my favorite portion of this part of the Divine Liturgy is "For a Christian, painless, blameless, peaceful end of our life, and for a good account before the dread judgment seat of Christ, let us beseech the Lord." I think that is what we all want most, even when we are blinded by sin.

Priest (silently): In You, O Gracious Master, we place our whole life and hope, and we beseech, pray and implore You: make us worthy to partake with a pure conscience of Your heavenly and awesome mysteries from this sacred and spiritual altar, for the remission of sins, for the pardon of transgressions, for the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, for the inheritance of the kingdom of heaven, for confidence in You, and not for judgment, nor condemnation.

PRIEST: Help, save, have mercy, and protect us, O God, by Your grace.

PEOPLE: Lord, have mercy.

PRIEST: That this whole day may be perfect holy, peaceful, and sinless, let us beseech the Lord.

PEOPLE: Grant it, O Lord.

PRIEST: For an angel of peace, a faithful guide, a guardian of our souls and bodies, let us beseech the Lord.

PEOPLE: Grant it, O Lord.

PRIEST: For the pardon and remission of our sins and offenses, let us beseech the Lord.

PEOPLE: Grant it, O Lord.

PRIEST: For what is good and beneficial to our souls and for peace in the world, let us beseech the Lord.

PEOPLE: Grant it, O Lord.

PRIEST: That we may spend the rest of our life in peace and repentance, let us beseech the Lord.

PEOPLE: Grant it, O Lord.

PRIEST: For a Christian, painless, blameless, peaceful end of our life, and for a good account before the dread judgment seat of Christ, let us beseech the Lord.

PEOPLE: Grant it, O Lord.

PRIEST: Having prayed for unity of faith, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, let us commend ourselves and one another, and our whole life to Christ, our God.

PEOPLE: To You, O Lord.

Homeschooling & St Valentine's Day

2012-02-13T07:33:00.000-08:00

Christmas decorations are up on November 1st around here. My kids hear me grumble about proper observance of liturgical seasons while we are shopping or driving to an activity, but then a little voice will pipe up in the cart or the back seat and say, "It's pretty!" Yes, Virginia, the decorations are pretty and such a relief from the terrorizing Halloween decor we must endure from Labor Day until the end of October. So while we don't prepare the house for Christmas so early, when we are out and about, I'll stop grumbling.

This is LOVE

St Valentine's Day can be this way, too. I can grumble about the horrid commercialization of a minor feast day- and what happened to the word 'Saint' on all those cards? I won't even begin to analyze the sadness of a culture that separates love and sex, making temporary romantic feelings higher than committed, lifelong married love. I can only pray that even the word LOVE that is so pervasive in February might encourage someone's subconscious to remember that God is love. In the meantime, I will make heart-shaped pancakes.

This is LOVE

For a homeschooling family, Saint Valentine's Day can be a difficult day to be home. We remember the glitter-covered shoe boxes that friends would stuff cards into and the special treats that the teacher would distribute. We might forget that a lot of the 'popular' girls failed to give a Valentine, but we remember that our best friend came through with an extra-big card that couldn't even fit in the slot. But as homeschooling parents, we don't have to lose out on the positive aspects of tradition. In my 'little Catholic bubble,' our park day balloons from 25 to 40 or more families for the St Valentine's Day park day. Class lists are emailed and the children prepare cards for their class and other special friends. Tables are set up with bags and the kids put the cards in and then wait until it's time to get their bags. It's also a potluck, so the families get plenty of treats. This is a day that my children look forward to all year. Their memories of their childhood St Valentine's Days will be much more positive than mine, I hope.

this is LOVE

Tomorrow is St. Valentine's Day. Rebel against the anti-Valentine's-Day rebellion of "I love every day so why do I need a commercialized holiday" philosophy. If you homeschool and your plans are to stay home, why not meet another family for some chicken nuggets? Bring a box of chocolates for dessert. and then, make a special dinner for the family even if the husband is one of those "I love you every day" types. Argh- I am not asking that he buy overpriced red roses and a 'hoodie footie,' but a mixed bouquet from Trader Joe's (they don't gouge- visit TJs if you have one) and a delicious bottle of Baileys- nice. Just don't forget a token for your knight in shining armor. I say, let's reclaim yet another holy day.

this is LOVE

a little pre-fast silliness

2012-02-12T19:11:00.000-08:00

Ginny from small things has encouraged her fellow bloggers to.....well....it is hard to explain....you might click here. It think it's funny- even though Gosling isn't a favorite. I like British actors like Ian McKellan and Jim Broadbent....here goes anyway...

This is an old photo- the day our baby came home after 5 weeks in the NICU. She's two and a half now. The photo does show his dedication to his family. And yes- he was exhausted today and let this introverted mama take some alone time. We are blessed.

Quaeritur: Can I change rite & become a married priest?

2012-02-08T17:07:00.000-08:00

I'm been writing here for about a year and a half, and I finally got the question that I thought I would get a year ago:
"Dear Panyi Matka, As a Roman Catholic with an unending love and passion for Eastern Christianity, the Priesthood, and my girlfriend, I want to know if you could provide me with some guidance as to the possibility of moving into the Byzantine Rite of the Catholic Church and becoming a married priest. Thank you and may God be with you and your family always. In Christ, S---."

My first interior response was along the lines of- here is another Latin-rite Catholic 'using' us Byzantines for our traditional Liturgy/married priesthood possibility/opportunity to be a big fish in a very small pond instead of one in five thousand at the local Roman-rite church. He would put up with our smallness and different-ness for a year or two and then go back to his Latin roots (literally- I think the writer is Latino or Italian in origin) But then I got a hold of myself and re-read his question.

Father Maximos of Holy Resurrection Monastery has stated that a person's primary vocation is either celibacy or marriage. This might seem counter-intuitive because the priesthood is an eternal mark on the soul while marriage is not, but one should begin with discerning whether celibacy or marriage is God's plan for their life. The priesthood is a possibility with both a vocation to celibacy (a vocation to celibacy makes being a monk or priest monk possible) and marriage for a man.

But the Roman-rite has not had a married priesthood as a normal matter of course for hundreds of years. So what does this mean for a Latin-rite man's discernment process? Even if he likes Liturgy and theology and the Church and the idea of becoming a priest, if he has discerned marriage, the priesthood should be off the table. The diaconate is a distant possibility, but diocesan policies usually limit study for the diaconate to a man who has been married for many years. So as heartless as it sounds, a Latin-rite man who has discerned marriage (yes- even before he has found a future wife-possibility) should realize that the priesthood is not available to him. He should not attempt to finagle a way such as become Anglican and then attempt a change to Roman-rite Catholicism or become Byzantine-rite and then really be Roman-rite with bi-ritual faculties. This is just not right or holy.

My husband- from the old country where most priests are married with children- discerned both marriage and a hoped-for call to the priesthood when he was seventeen. Everything education-wise and professionally has a connection to his priesthood and his obligation to support his family. When he was in seminary in his country, his bishop invited those seminarians who planned on remaining celibate to study for their Master's degree in Rome. He knew that he planned on getting married, so he declined the invitation. His integrity was more important than that. And I believe that God has rewarded his honorable interactions with his bishop. He was able to study in France for two summers and in Austria for a year. He was given permission to start a ministry in the United States. But he has never been to Rome.

So in a very roundabout way, I am advising the writer to be honorable. If you have discerned marriage, then that is what you must do. If you feel the Byzantine rite truly calling your heart, then become involved with the closest church and begin the process to officially change your rite. I would hope that your girlfriend would change as well. You should change your rite with no thought to a future priesthood. You need to live about two years of being only Byzantine before you should contact the bishop. Practically, the Romanian and Ukrainian eparchies are more open to married men working towards the priesthood, but the Ruthenian eparchies are more pan-cultural and American.

Be honorable and be honest with yourself. If your dream as a priest involves Ash Wednesday ash distribution, not singing Alleluia during Lent, preaching in front of a thousand people, rosaries and adoration, the Byzantine-rite will not fulfill the dream. This is why living a Byzantine life for about two years is important for you to discern if this is the life you want. In addition, every pre-seminarian and seminarian (of all rites) must realize that they will or won't be ordained at the bishop's pleasure. The priesthood is not a right even when one has all the education. In the Byzantine rite of ordination, the bishop asks the people- Is he worthy? and the candidate hopes and prays that the people will sing, "Axios!"

on a very practical note: a married man hoping to be ordained a (Byzantine-rite) priest should figure out how he will support himself and his family. Byzantine-Catholic churches are generally small and poor. If it is very small (like our two missions), he can plan to work an outside job. If grandma or auntie live close by and are willing and the church is too big to be away from, the wife might work outside the home. Different families have different solutions. The writer needs to prepare himself for a future with or without the priesthood.
....And maybe most importantly- the wife needs to be enthusiastic about a possible priesthood. She doesn't need to delude herself into thinking that all will be sunshine and roses. I knew that the day of my husband's priestly ordination was the day that satan really had the desire to destroy him and his family. But I was still game for the adventure. But if the girlfriend/wife is not hopeful and positive about it, stop. This may mean that he should not pursue this path. He was married first. As painful as it might be, he is called to be married first and then find a way to serve our Lord in His Church- just not with the priesthood.

Don't do this to a priest! 7 QuickTakes

2012-02-03T03:00:00.000-08:00

- when a priest is visiting your parish- don't go up to him and say, "Wow! That homily was great! I wish you could be our priest instead of too young/too old/too liberal/ too conservative Father X!" What is the visiting priest supposed to say? No matter the situation with the 'bad' priest, they are brothers. Instead of insulting one to compliment the other, just say, "great homily! I really was encouraged/convicted/educated when you pointed out...."

- please don't mention something you have said to a priest in confession while you're in public. If you need clarification on a counseling point, get back to confession. He can't say anything in a crowd even if it is to defend his 'liberal' penance-giving.

- There are bad/goofy/imperfect politicians. There are bad/goofy/imperfect priests. Respect for the idea and role of the politician and/or priest helps us overlook the humanity of the specific politician or priest. I respect the US President because of his office. Even more importantly, I respect Catholic priests because I believe that they are in persona Christi when they administer the sacraments. So no, don't make fun of priests.

- if your priest happens to have a family, this doesn't mean that he is unavailable for extra activities. Just make it clear if you expect the entire family or if only he is invited. With our family, it is about 50/50. For example, caroling in December is usually a family affair while house blessings in January are a time for Father to 'team build' with parishioners on his own.

- don't say- "wow, if you take that on, you'll be divorced (if married) or dead." If your priest's schedule concerns you, maybe you can take some of the load off by performing a practical activity like mowing the church lawn or taking an elderly person a meal . Or maybe he is just an energetic, motivated person who isn't 'burnt out' by the priesthood.

- don't say- "wow layperson so and so is Father X's favorite. They are always working at the altar together. I guess I shouldn't even ask to get involved because layperson so and so does everything the priest doesn't." Think. Maybe layperson so and so is doing practically everything because no one else is stepping up to the plate and he doesn't want Father X to be completely alone. There is work enough for everyone.

- don't badly dent his old Chevy with your luxury SUV on the first Sunday he is at the parish to assert your dominance. Also don't do this after stating to him that you won't be buying him a car like you did the last priest because "you're married. You can take care of yourself." (?!)

but yes, your priest is still a person, so it is a kindness to tell him he has Sunday morning donut on his beard. You don't have to obsess over his non-Armani suit, however. Not everyone takes two hours to preen in the morning.

-

Giveaway- Book for your Lenten Journey

2012-02-01T11:32:00.000-08:00

I have three copies of a great book that will take you day by day through the Great Fast- Byzantine-style. Just leave a comment in the combox and you will be in the running! I'll randomly choose three names on February 11th which will give me time to email you for your mailing address & get the books in the post so that three winners will have the book in time for the fast which begins February 20th (yup- a Monday- two days before Roman-rite Ash Wednesday).

Can you believe that the Great Fast is almost here! As always, I am looking forward to it and I need the encouragement in my spiritual walk.

More from Blessed Mother Theresa

2012-02-01T09:54:00.000-08:00

Mother Teresa’s Humility List

1. Speak as little as possible about yourself.
2. Keep busy with your own affairs and not those of others.
3. Avoid curiosity.
4. Do not interfere in the affairs of others.
5. Accept small irritations with good humor.
6. Do not dwell on the faults of others.
7. Accept censures even if unmerited.
8. Give in to the will of others.
9. Accept insults and injuries.
10. Accept contempt, being forgotten and disregarded.
11. Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone.
12. Do not seek to be admired and loved.
13. Do not protect yourself behind your own dignity.
14. Give in, in discussions, even when you are right.
15. Choose always the more difficult task.

just. wow.

I found this at the Humble Pie Challenge- I guess I am finding Blessed Theresa very inspiring lately; I wish I were more like her. But that is why she is saintly- she inspires people to greater things.

Christianity did it better- 7 Quicktakes

2012-01-27T12:57:00.000-08:00

Compare Mozart's Requiem to Tupac's Life Goes On

Compare Chartres Cathedral and the Hagia Sofia to the UN headquarters

Compare the protest song of Michael Card to Bob Dylan's.

Compare Frida Khalo's icon-like Double-Self Portrait to Morley's street art.

Priest's wife- why are you getting down on Tupac, the UN, Bob Dylan of all people and a humble LA-based street artist (who happens to be a first-cousin), you ask? Well, there is a lot to like with the non-Christianity-inspired (my label) art that is in my examples. The street art is optimistic. The UN headquarters is glossy and practical. Bob Dylan and Tupac (as timeless as Mozart- I'm not so sure) are genius in their style of music. But I will offer that these examples are not informed by a Christian/Catholic/Orthodox view of creation. They are post-Christian works of art.

Art doesn't need to be old (Michael Card is a modern singer). Art doesn't need to be Western (overwhelm yourself with the beauty of Coptic, Indian and Byzantine icons, music and architecture). The artist doesn't need to be a good Christian (Frida had her problems), but it can help (once again, icon writers usually fast and pray while working). Art is more 'successful' in its aims when it is a manifestation of God's creation. That doesn't mean it has to be pretty.

Priest's wife- you haven't answered my question- you say. What's with the depressing quick takes? Well....this week my husband was informed that his hospital's parent company has decided to shake off those pesky Catholic bishops and no longer be a ministry of the Catholic Church. While his specific hospital will remain Catholic for now (about 2/3 of the network will remain Catholic), the network will no longer need to abide by catholic ethics and moral teaching. It is hard to do business in a post-Christian, now-Obama world.

Compare and contrast: 100 years ago, seven sisters in full habits traveled from Ireland to the Western part of the United States to open a small hospital. The hospital became a center for hope for everyone- all colors and creeds. It was nothing fancy, but they worked hard to make a difference. Now, the sisters who were affiliated with this network have signed away their legacy because it is simply easier to not be Catholic and have all those rules.

I would contend that God (not just those bishops) isn't thrilled with sterilization, abortion, IVF and cardiac-death transplant harvesting . But by the smiles of some of the people going through this corporate-level change, you would think that God is rejoicing that some of these hospitals will be free to perform these 'procedures.' So this week has been one of melancholy and panic at 'casa priest's wife.'

Wisdom for all ages

2012-01-25T21:51:00.000-08:00

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta

If I can bring myself to write, I might explain why I posted this quotation from Blessed Teresa. But for now, it is important for us all to take this to heart

Babies are...(a replay)

2012-01-24T07:13:00.000-08:00

So, if babies are not the enemy, why does the United States abort minimally 846,181 pregnancies (In 2006, 846,181 legal induced abortions were reported to CDC from 49 reporting areas. (Center for Disease Control and Prevention). I chose this statistic because I am sure it minimizes the impact of abortion so I could not be accused of bias) a year? What are the causes for so many abortions- many sources putting the abortion number at 1.5 million per year. If babies are not the enemy, what is?

poverty
a promiscuous society and
general dehumanization are a few reasons why abortions are so common.

Although women can and must always choose good over evil, staring at an empty cupboard must make it more difficult to choose life. Living in a society where there are very few good jobs which don't require higher education (an education that is financially out of reach for much of the U.S. population) also contributes to this poverty. Times have changed. When I was a young child, there were four kids, only my dad worked (at a job which did not require a college degree), and we had a house and a half acre to play around in. Now, living in the same area, my four kids have a townhouse with a cement patio even though they have a mom with a Master's degree who works part-time and a dad with two Master's who has a good full-time job. We are by no means poor, but it seems to be harder to earn a good living nowadays.

I was picking up my big girls from choir when there was a debate over music perferences. My girls said they enjoy classical music along with Elton John and the Beach Boys. A few of the kids made fun of them; I tried to be a cool mom and suggested to them that they go to youtube and find the 'backing up song.' Basically, it shows how talking can be turned into a pop song with a computer and autotune. A cute little boy- the one who still sings the soprano parts- mentioned that Katy Perry uses auto-tune more than Lady Gaga. Says he: Gaga is the true artist whose meat dress will soon be in a museum. It is a promiscuous society that allows an eight-year old boy to listen to and watch the videos of these two so-called artists. When a good boy with an intact family finds their music and videos to be acceptable, we are setting ourselves up for acceptance of evil- one of those evils being abortion.

A 6-pound baby was found in the garbage today, just another news item on the radio. My last baby was 4 pounds, and her neighbor in the NICU was born just under 2 pounds. So, this is personal; I admit it. When a society condones the dehumanization of the smallest, weakest and oldest, it is a sick society. Yes, the ancient Spartans would expose an imperfect child to the elements, but aren't we supposed to be better than that now? For believers, we are all sanctified by Christ. We are made in God's image, so all life is sacred. For others, science shows us that humans develop from a fertilized egg and are always human. The fetus, no matter how small, never was something other than human. But in the early months, the baby looks strange, so we can destroy the life? Analyze a two-year old's face. His proportions are different than a teenager's. Then, compare the teenager with a middle-aged adult. They will also look different from each other, but they look the way they do because of the stage of development they are in.

My theme needs to be developed much more- Red Cardigan's blog is a good pro-life blog to peruse. I just find it sad and ironic every year that Roe v Wade and Martin Luther King Day are so close to one another. Would Dr King be pleased (as Obama celebrated Roe V Wade so his daughters will have choices) that so many African-Americans, a disproportionate number, do not exist because of abortion? He had to know the work of Margaret Sanger, founder of the eugenic Birth Control League, later named Planned Parenthood. King's niece now makes it her life's mission to speak out against abortion, perhaps to heal from the pain of having had two abortions herself. The mercy of God is so great! One last thing...

"There are currently 15,000 mentions of Jared Loughner [shot down 6 in Arizona 2 weeks ago] in the news recently, according to Google. But as of Sunday night there are less than 1,400 mentions of Dr. Kermit Gosnell [soon to be on trial for the murder of two women and for murdering seven babies who survived abortions]. That’s 10 percent. Truly, silence is the deadliest bias." (Creative Minority Report)

Owls Everywhere- 7 QuickTakes

2012-01-20T10:39:00.000-08:00

I am loving all the owl fun out there lately. Personally, my favorite animal to use design-wise is still the hedgehog, but lately owls have been calling my name. Here are some favorites of the favorites:

1. from The Freckled Hen- first of all, the blog's name is just the cutest. She explains in her blog post that she added the cowboy boots to cover up a mistake. I say, great save!

2 & 3. from Like Mother, Like Daughter- Auntie Leila posted some handmade goodies from her mother and her daughter- they didn't coordinate the gifts! Just a small Christmas miracle...

I am also tempted to copy their fabric memory game-such an easy and creative way to use really small scraps of fabric. I'm getting out my pinking shears- I'm going to try a few with 'stitchwitchery' to see if that saves time. I think it is the prefect little gift for a 2 to 5 year old.

4. from Lizbethdesigns on Etsy- I just love the fact that this owl is sleeping- I have got to get Baby Girl an owl hat before she is too big...

5. Owl crafts remind me of a childhood friend- right after Smokey the Bear

6. from milesjoel.tumblr.com- owl + top hat + St Valentine pun = love

7. If you haven't seen the newest Winnie the Pooh movie, I promise you will enjoy it even with its vaguely hipster musical stylings of Zooey Deschanel. It is true to the 'Winnie' canon, and Owl is the one to set the conflict in motion when he insists that Christopher Robin's note saying he "will be back soon" (misspelled, of course) is actually warning the group of the horrid monster called the 'Backson.' Hilarity ensues.

many more QuickTakes at Jen's conversiondiary.com

New American

2012-01-18T19:01:00.000-08:00

After fifteen years of being a resident of the USA, today Father is finally a citizen

God Bless America-

Words and music by Irving Berlin

"While the storm clouds gather far across the sea,

Let us swear allegiance to a land that's free,

Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,

As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer. "

God Bless America,

Land that I love.

Stand beside her, and guide her

Thru the night with a light from above.

From the mountains, to the prairies,

To the oceans, white with foam

God bless America, My home sweet home.

7 QuickTakes- "Keeping it Real" edition

2012-01-12T18:39:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I have really gotten real about the not-so-perfect aspects of being a priest's wife on this blog, so here we go!...

1. Sunday mornings, we have Divine Liturgy at 11:30 after the main parish celebrates their Liturgy. They leave us any leftover donuts. So we are confronted with donuts at 1:00 PM. It's usually up to me to decide the donuts' fate. I remember the face of the starving child's photo that my parents posted in the dining room table when I was young as I throw away the leftovers. Do homeless men want or need day-old donuts?

2. Heaven forbid if I give priest-husband a tea while he skypes with the old country early Sunday morning. It doesn't matter that Divine Liturgy will be finished at one o'clock; he is expected to fast from everything from midnight on.

3. I need to be prepared to be insulted for my less-than-stellar old country language skills when on the phone with an unknown person. Everyone here is amazed that I speak the language at all and that I dress the children, named very old country-ish at my insistence, in traditional clothes for holidays. Luckily, I have escaped most ethnic-difference problems with our own parishioners.

4. Yes, it is true that his cell phone is always on and he will almost always answer it immediately. There is no secretary-gate keeper here.

5. Just to let you know- when you so kindly ask my husband to perform your baptism/wedding/funeral/house blessing, it really makes life difficult when you insist on a certain day and time with no regard to his schedule. Yes, I know that you reserved the party hall months before you informed him that he would be the chief celebrant, but we are trying to build a mission on Saturday nights. It really destroys any community we are building when he has to cancel. Also, my husband's ministry cannot be bought for a $50 stipend, so no, he cannot overlook a previous marriage or excuse you from actually meeting with him. Please don't put me in the middle. I might look like I am in charge because I lead singing and wash the dishes, but in terms of sacraments, I have nothing to do with it!

6. The hardest part of being a priest's wife is trying to find a balance for my kids. I want them to leave our house as believing and happy Christians. Being in the thick of things and seeing the humanity and sinfulness of God's people can make that difficult. We expect a lot out of our children, and I hope it isn't too much. But then some people say we have made too many compromises to worldly pleasures (for example, the older two have read the first three Harry Potter books, they don't wear a veil in church, they sometimes wear jeans- though never in church).

Is it enough that the big girls get an ice cream after yet another church service? It can be difficult when they aren't seen as real Catholics by friends even though they assist at a Saturday vigil, early Sunday morning and late Sunday morning Masses every weekend. Will they rebel when they realize that their father is taking on another Mass- this time in Spanish? He tries to sell the Mass as a way to learn Spanish. True, but I dread the day that they refuse to tag along. At this point, the big girls are very helpful with cantoring and other church-related activities. The little ones don't do as much (just Saturday and Sunday services plus the occasional Wednesday Bible study and hospital Mass); I stay with them.

Perhaps we should pick a 'side' instead of trying to find an impossible balance between the world and heavenly perfection. Some of my choices for my children might seem rather arbitrary (or hypocritical). We homeschool, but we use a public charter school to pay for our outside activities. They have read the first three Potter books (yes, we might lose friends over this), but I'll never let them read something like Twilight. I sometimes listen to 'adult contemporary' music in my car, though it is always sacred music before Liturgy. I encourage my children to be charitable, but I try not to force the issue (for example, they are expected to say hello to a elderly disabled person, but I don't force them to embrace him).

They might grow up to say that I was a hypocrite, but if they are honest, they will know my intentions are good. There is a pressure that we put on ourselves because we are about the only young priest's family we know. We don't want to be a source of scandal for others. What if someones sees my family not working perfectly? Perhaps that fit my two-year old had will be the reason why a person left the church. The fact that we don't veil might be scandalous to some, but if I started to veil that would be a scandal for others. So, we will just attempt to please ourselves and God. At this point, I can say that we have found the perfect balance for us. We don't fit in anywhere. Hopefully, we are fitting in with God's plan.

7. This morning I got a phone call from a person I don't know in the old country, wanting money because she doesn't have electricity. We get these kinds of calls a lot, usually not Byzantine Catholic or from my husband's region, so I don't know why we have been chosen. I always feel a pit in my stomach when I realize what the call is about. I know that they think we are very wealthy. In the old country, the priest and his family (when the political situation isn't killing them or sending them to Siberia) are one of the wealthiest families in the village. While he might not make much money, the people take care of this family well with produce, meat and stipends. And if the priest is doing well in her village, shouldn't we be as rich as Brad Pitt?

It doesn't matter that we don't have the use of our furnace or dryer or that I have been unemployed with no unemployment insurance paid for eight months. Yes, I could be working at McDonald's to raise money to send to them except my closest family is nine hundred miles away (which would be countries away in Europe). We don't receive a stipend for having children like European countries. I just don't know what to do. I know family and friends right next door that could use financial help. We give financial help to some people and we tithe. But must we respond to random people we don't know? But when I don't give, I feel like Ebenezer Scrooge saying, "Are there no prisons?!"

This past Christmas morning, we had family visiting (yes, from far far away) and my husband had just got home from celebrating a 6:30 AM Mass as a 'supply' priest for the Roman-rite parish. We were in the midst of opening stockings and preparing to leave for our Christmas Divine Liturgy an hour away when the phone rang. I picked up the phone, assuming it was family. Who else would call a priest's home on one of the busiest mornings of the year? I was wrong, so wrong. The caller was a man who had written my husband a letter, asking for money. he wanted to know if my husband had received the letter. I said yes and then tried to explain to him that my husband was between Liturgies on Christmas morning and he would have to talk later. Does he have an email address where they can communicate? No- no email address (it always intrigues me- they all found my husband on the internet yet none of them have opened a free email account). he insults my language abilities and then calls me 'lady.' He is angry. I am able to get off the phone politely (I asked my husband and family- they agree I wasn't rude).

In my husband's home country, politeness is an art form. A lady wears heels to take out the trash. Like in French with its tu/vous forms, you can tell right away when someone is acting too familiar in his language. My husband still uses the formal 'you' with most people older than he. One greeting is "I kiss your hand"- this can be said from a man to any woman. I can use it as a sign of respect to someone older than I. In his language, one uses the proper title like Dr. Engineer or Madame Dentist. If someone doesn't use a title, it is a not-so-subtle way to show disrespect. So, am I really supposed to send money to a man I don't know who doesn't call me Matusha and doesn't call my husband Father? Even in my husband's country where Catholic/Orthodox relations are very strained, each church gives the other the proper title.

The phone rings again a minute later, and my brother-in-law picks up. He says "hello," and the caller unleashes a barrage of four-letter words in English. So my Christmas started with a bad feeling and a bad headache. Of course, the men are better at laughing it off, but I know that my husband is being slandered in his home country. It isn't easy, but I am still blessed to be living this life.

find many more quick takes at conversiondiary.com

Hymn to the Theotokos- series on Divine Liturgy

2012-01-12T14:52:00.000-08:00

after the consecration of the Holy Eucharist, the priest continues...

PRIEST: (silent prayers then-) Especially for our most holy, most pure, most blessed and glorious Lady, the Mother of God and ever-Virgin Mary.

PEOPLE: It is truly proper to glorify you, who have borne God, the ever-blessed and immaculate and the Mother of our God. More honorable than the Cherubim and beyond compare more glorious than the Seraphim, who, a Virgin, gave birth to God the Word, you, truly the Mother of God, we magnify.

Truly proper (or 'fitting'), glorify, magnify; I like the words here. It is fitting that we give respect to the Theotokos, the Mother of God. She who gave birth to God the Word is above the angels. We don't worship her, but we praise her for her YES to God. We don't ignore her as some religious traditions do, but we sing this song directly to Mary (notice that we sing "you" twice during this song) during every Divine Liturgy because of her vital role in salvation history. By the way, that title of Theotokos (Mother of God) is important not to make Mary a demi-God. It emphasizes the dogma that Jesus was, is and always will be God and man. Being born of a woman did not diminish His divinity.

for your edification

2012-01-10T03:00:00.000-08:00

what is the Divine Liturgy

is Theophany Epiphany

can I go to Byzantine Catholics

priest's wife

wife of priest

priest's wife exists

Christmas lights not made in China

lights not made in China

China food delicious

can a Catholic priest eat at a parishioner's home

what does Bill Clinton fear

if you really needed it

fear not

fear

why fear

james thurber

penguins

smile and wave

inspired by Simcha Fisher- yes, this search word poetry knows it's bad

Once more, with feeling...

2012-01-09T11:31:00.000-08:00

Epiphany/Theophany has come and gone, so the highest holidays of the Christmas season are over. Most of us have been busy with cleaning and decluttering and organizing after the decadent (whether or not we feel well-off- if one lives in the West and has computer access, one is richer than most of the world) past weeks. We have had a lot of fun and opened a lot of presents from family and friends. I don't look at labels or countries of origin when we receive a gift- but this little gift gave me pause.

I must admit, when we got four of these 'stockings' I first thought to myself- Does Soulemama get these kinds of gifts? No, she probably receives only intentional gifts of organic, hand-dyed, local somethings (I kid- she is a favorite even though I will never live the life on her blog). But then I got mad.

I'm not mad at the lovely person who probably thought to herself on the way to Christmas Liturgy that she just had to have a treat to give to the kids. I really appreciate that, for the most part, my children are loved by those who join us at church. I'm just at mad at the situation that we seem to be in the West. In our lust for cheap goods, we have sold so much of our manufacturing backbone to China. We expect everything to be 99 cents. We consider it a triumph when candy canes are made in Mexico instead of China.

I remember learning in high school that the two important industries of Oregon were being sent to China- lumber and salmon would be harvested in Oregon but processed in Oregon, then sent back to the States with Made in America tags. But who wants to pay $20 a pound for processed in America salmon? Just a bit of food for thought...

click on the 'China' label below for other posts of mine on the subject

Random QuickTakes for a New Year

2012-01-06T12:14:00.000-08:00

1. I didn't make many resolutions this year- I'm just trying to accomplish the goals I've blogged about in the past year! But I have been successful in not blogging much.

2. Extreme pet peeve- those people who equate married priests with woman priests, actively homosexual priests, self-consecration of the Eucharist, etc, etc. This past week, a bishop has fallen from grace (well, he did that a long time ago) and has admitted he has two children. Allowing him to have been married wouldn't have solved this specific problem. Most likely, he is the kind of man who didn't take to keeping vows of any sort. We are praying for his soul; the scandal is serious as is the fact that he fathered two children and then wasn't present for them in their needs. Sins all around for the bishop...

3. We had a real New Year's party at the 'big mission' and the parish priest of the actual parish (they rent us the space- they are Byzantine Catholic, too- different ethnicity) let us sleep in the classroom connected to the big hall so we didn't have to drive an hour towards home in the middle of the night. The last people left the party at 3:45 or so. We slept until eight, cleaned some more and then had Divine Liturgy as usual at 11:30. Yes, the little ones yawned, but we made it through. So balance is possible. Work all day Friday and Saturday to set up and cook for the party- have Liturgy at the small mission- drive an hour to get to the big mission- have a party from 8 to 3:45- clean for an hour-go to sleep- clean some more- go to Liturgy at 11:30- have a leftover lunch with parishioners until about 3- finish cleaning- get home at about 6- get the little ones in bed because the sun is down anyway and they don't read clocks- watch an episode of Dick van Dyke with the big girls- plan for next year's party

4. Speaking of balance- my sister got an organizing book for Christmas. Not surprisingly, some of the advice was a bit too minimalist for my taste. It says to have only 4 pots in the kitchen. Um, no. But it did inspire me to Goodwill the set of pots I had before I got a different set about 6 years ago. I also decluttered some utensils and old plastic containers. I'm trying for balanced baby steps. The book also says that the goal for photos should be two photos per event and to retire with about 800 photos total. Um, no. But it did inspire me to delete some frankly lousy photos and to pick the best of a set of the same pose. I also have three bags of clutter to drop off at Goodwill.

5. Why my brother-in-law rocks- he fixed the circuit in the kitchen, thus giving me back three outlets. No more extension cord! He also narrowed down my problem with the dryer- now, I just have to tell the problem to the repairmen. On the downside, he-who-listens-to-Greek-on-his-Ipod-and-is-writing-a-book-about theology/art/etc introduced my kids to the annoying orange (warning- do NOT youtube that).

6. Life with 12 1/2 and 11 1/2 year olds- we got to run to see the new Mission Impossible movie. The theater is very close to the house, so they watched the little ones and saved us $10+ per hour for babysitting. The girls said to deduct it from their ballet costs. Will do, girls.

7. Just a little thought from Father's homily from last Sunday (I think- remember our readings will be different than Roman-rite)- Mary losing Jesus for three days and finding him at 12 in the temple was a foreshadowing of the three days in the tomb. She kept all these things in her heart, and Jesus was always about His Father's business.

find more quick takes at conversion diary.com

Life's Sweet

2012-01-04T14:17:00.000-08:00

celebrating Wordless Wednesday

A Year of Posting Non-Dangerously

2011-12-30T18:02:00.000-08:00

Fellow bloggers will probably agree with me when I say that the most time-consuming aspect of writing a blog post is thinking up and formulating an idea. Most of my posts don't reveal the writer that I would like to become because I am distracted by the obligations of my life (drat those family, church and work obligations! Just kidding). So my 'blogging resolution' this year is not to even try to write amazing, interesting, and totally independent posts. I am just going to tag along with some of my favorite blogs.

So, if you see me writing a post not attached to the following memes more than once a week (I'm giving myself a bit of wiggle room for inspiration), write me an email and yell at me for using too much brain space for this blog instead of my family!

You'll see me tagging along at:

pretty happy funny real at Like Mother, Like Daughter

seven quick takes at Conversion Diary

yarn along (if I start knitting again!) at small things

wordless Wednesday

a simple woman's daybook

I wish all of you a very blessed 2012 filled with health and happiness and the fulfillment of all your dreams & FAITHFULNESS- NOT SUCCESS!

A Favorite Post from 2011

2011-12-30T15:36:00.000-08:00

reposting...

The Challenge of Celibacy

The past few days around here have been interesting, to say the least. I still believe what I wrote 2 days ago, and I pray that Rome directly answers the questions raised by canon lawyer Ed Peters about Western Canon 277. In any case...what is so challenging about celibacy and- therefore- continence?

Is it the lack of marital contact? Is the most challenging aspect of celibacy loneliness? I can't give a theological or psychological opinion- just a practical and personal one. I was celibate and continent until I was 27. Being a virgin was no problem (maybe because I am a female?) and any loneliness I felt was lessened by time with friends and family.

My major challenge as a single person was a tendency to selfishness.

When one is celibate and- therefore- continent, it is a major challenge to be self-giving. It takes heroic virtue not to be selfish. During high school, university and four years after graduation, this was my life: the beautiful, independent single life where I would serve others to a point. I could fool myself into thinking I was a giver. I lived at home during college, taking classes full-time and working various jobs about 35 hours a week to pay for tuition. I was really busy. I was a 'giver'- leading music at the 7:30 Mass and joining my family for the 9:00. I was involved in the Newman Center and did the dishes at home. But I would go to the movies during a break in the school day and watch the latest tearjerker (Steel Magnolias, anyone?). After college, I was teaching English in Slovakia for $100 a month plus rent- how is that selfish?! But, I could take a train to Rome without calling anyone, walk around for 12 hours, and then get on the next train north. Being poor, I debated between spending my money on green leather mittens or lunch in Krakow. Being married, sometimes a mom has to choose between lunch for herself or the kids. And she chooses the kids.

When I was single, I never had to always think of another person. If a younger sister was visiting, of course I would buy her favorite flavor of party pizza and make brownies while we watched Labyrinth. But that was an aberration. Normally, I went into a store and bought my favorite things, took a shower when it was convenient for me, watched only the movies that I preferred, and even prayed when it was a good time for me. The food was cooked to my liking, the music was at the volume I preferred, the thermostat temperature was perfect for me. The furniture could be just where I wanted it, I could work the hours I wanted, I could go on retreat and not be beholden to anyone. Are any of these things sinful? Not really, but living alone makes it very easy to think of oneself- in the same way that having only one child makes it easy to cook just the foods that child prefers. Why not? It is easy, but it is not very virtuous.

We all know amazing celibate priests who are always thinking of the other person. He might golf on Monday morning as a hobby, but his cell phone is open to calls and he doesn't allow a gate keeper secretary to be a barrier to contact with his parishioners. Celibacy and continence are challenges, but Roman-rite priests know what they are getting into and, I suspect, focus on protecting themselves from sin in these serious matters. Selfishness is a much smaller sin, but it tends to creep in and make itself at home. A selfish person who is also a giver- like I was- work, work, working for God but then ignoring that call that they know is a hospital call. A selfish person insists on his hamburger super-rare (just pass it over a lit candle) even when the waitress says the health board won't let her sell it rare. A selfish person needs, even while complaining of burn-out, to choose all the music selections and flower arrangements so that things will be perfect (for him/her).

Marriage and children force us sinners to constantly think of others. We might intentionally decide to buy sharp cheddar or listen to opera even though our spouse prefers something different. We don't always have to choose what the other wants, but we always have to consider it. Marriage is a great aid to man's natural tendencies to selfishness. It seems (please note my qualification!) that the glories of celibacy and continence are emphasized as a gift for the kingdom of Heaven, but celibate priests are only warned to not be alone with people and are not trained in anticipation of other problems. Perhaps the monastic tradition (again, in only my little opinion) is the best way to live a life of celibacy and continence. The monk lives in community and is supported in living a selfless life. With his vows (not promises) of poverty, chastity and obedience, he is given tools to faithfully live a life of celibacy and perfect continence.

Most Commented Post from 2011

2011-12-29T11:30:00.000-08:00

My blog doesn't get many comments, but this was the most commented on post of 2011- I don't know how to 'import' the comments- but it was basically another blogger who disagrees strongly with the possibility of a married priesthood in any rite. My comments just focused on my rite because I have no right (yes- pun intended) to have an opinion on another rite. here goes...

You know you are a priest's wife when...

your husband leaves at 7 AM to do annointings at the hospital Sunday morning and comes home just in time to drive to church.
you are the chauffer so that your priest-husband can go over his homily and be available for phone calls. You pray your 'rosary for the bishop' between calls.
your kids ask why they are listening to monk-sung Russian Orthodox chant during breakfast....because it is very relaxing
you have to just grit your teeth when someone asks to take your baby/give a lollipop to your 4-year old who is behaving/talk fashion with your 12-year old while the distribution of the Holy Eucharist is happening.
you have to smile when others are so kind and loving to you and your children (some parishioners got me a Kindle for my birthday!)
your voice hurts a little after the Divine Liturgy because the cantor was stuck in traffic and you had to take over until the cantor got there.
you have to shout at yourself internally to stop making plans for church while the Divine Liturgy is happening.
you eat 'only' three cabbage rolls after the memorial service so you have time to greet everyone- and you try to get over your shyness so you don't appear rude to your generally sanguine parishioners.
you get home at 8:00 PM on Sunday after a full day of church and fellowship with some sort-of parishioners a little peeved that you didn't stay at their home for late-evening hamburgers. It doesn't matter that you begin your part-time college teaching job the next day or that the boy was throwing up yesterday; you should be at their service just in case they decide to be actual parishioners. You marvel at the one-year old walking and sort of talking. The last time you saw him was at his infant baptism.
you read blog posts critical of married priests (the latest I saw was at Creative Minority Report, a blog I like a lot) and take it personally. Never, ever do as I do and read the commments. Those are always worse than the actual blog post

Anonymous said... I once went to a talk given by a married priest who was refreshingly honest. He said that he doesn't work on weekends or after 8PM. If you call his house after that time you better be almost dead because his wife will be mad.

All I have to say to 'anonymous' is WHAT?! You MUST be a troll! Putting everything aside- vocation, small 't' tradition, practical matters, etc- WHAT priest doesn't work weekends or take phone calls after 8? Even as a job...this is like a person being educated for and asking to be a party planner. Then, this person refuses to work weekends and nights. So- all the parties need to be on weekdays during the day? What utter nonsense! In the Eastern churches with the priesthood and the Roman-rite with the diaconate, the wives are part of the equation and realize his schedule might be different than the past when he had a 'normal' job.

Of course, occassionally one might find a crazy wife that changes the 'rules' on her husband just as there are some celibate priests making vows of poverty who own small airplanes. A rotten apple doesn't have to ruin the entire barrel if it is thrown out quickly enough. With a 'bad' priest's or deacon's wife, (I have never met one- just wives with different ministries and talents and maybe a few shy ones) counseling is in order. And a priest who is married does have the dual challenges of being the head of his domestic church (as any husband) and of his parish. A lot of balance and juggling is needed.

Personally, I don't see where this life could be successful on both fronts (domestic church and parish church) if the husband and wife are not of the same rite. Mixed marriages (Orthodox/Catholic, Byzantine Catholic/Roman-rite Catholic) can be tricky enough, but if my husband were consumed with his parish and the kids and I were always at the local Roman-rite parish, I do see where there would be a problem of unity and also not having any family time together.

As it is, the big girls help with child care at Bible study and they are part of the choir. I hope that the little guy will be at the altar next year. We are always looking for ways to combine family and church time. Because we are at church with priest-husband, the only time we aren't participating in his ministry is during counseling and confession times and his hospital work because we have school to do! We also try to be a part of the hospital by going to Mass there and the girls singing in the hospital talent show and the like. I think we actually spend a lot of time together- much more than a surgeon's family...but then I think that the 'a priest can never be a married man because he won't balance his responsibilities- someone will lose out' argument is a straw argument. I don't think that many people would caution their daughter from marrying a surgeon. He might never be home (and the family cannot be in the surgery theater of course like a priest's family is in the church), but he will bring home a lot of money to soften the blow.

But in any case: another commenter posted this and is much more realistic and thoughtful: Now, MAYBE this turns out to be an argument in favor of the discipline of celibacy if this guy is having trouble meeting his PRE-EXISTING sacramental commitment to his family while also meeting his sacramental commitment to the priesthood. Or MAYBE it's just an argument against this doofus ever being admitted to the Catholic priesthood and the Church instead finding people in this situation who can do a better job of multi-tasking. In the end, as others have stated, celibacy is a matter of discipline, and is NOT the teaching of "the Church" for all priests.

The Fourth Day Of Christmas- Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-28T09:30:00.000-08:00

I hope you are having a blessed, happy and healthy Christmas season!

A Christmas with Old Country Flavor

2011-12-22T03:00:00.000-08:00

Merry almost-Christmas! This is a guest post today at www.conservamome.com- thanks Elia for inviting me to your virtual Christmas party! Be sure to check out all the other guest posts on Christmas traditions.

Our Christmas is probably quite similar to most middle-class American homes, but with a few aspects that might set it apart from the pack. We retain quite a few of the traditions important to my childhood with other activities inspired by my husband's culture and our faith tradition.

Advent (St Philip's fast beginning November 15th for Byzantine Catholics) is a time of fasting, penance and preparation. We do our best to keep parties to a minimum; even our songs have an Advent focus. We fast from meat as much as possible to emphasize the anticipation of the season. Christmas Eve will be light foods; most likely cheese broccoli soup with homemade bread. Because we spent Advent preparing for the Christmas season, we celebrate the entire season and we don't stop on December 25th. Did you know that the 'twelve days of Christmas' begins with Christmas Day and then goes from there? So, we begin by delaying decorating the tree as long as the kids let us and we don't take it down before January 6th.

Christmas morning begins like this...the children come down and open stockings at about seven o'clock. Then, they eat some breakfast, usually something easy like sausage, toast and fruit. Eggnog is always on the menu. If I have a cup of black tea and Christmas music playing, I am fulfilled. The kids will look through the goodies in their stockings while they eat. In our house, Saint Nicholas has already been here on the 6th and filled their shoes. He comes back to fill the stockings, but all other presents are received from family and friends.

Then, it's time for church. It can be a challenge for the children to wait to open the presents under the tree, but every year they are glad that the gift-portion of the day is stretched out.

‎

Your birth, O Christ our God

Has shed upon the world the light of knowledge;

For through it, those who worship the stars

Have learned from a star to worship You, the Sun of Justice

And to recognize You as the Orient From On High.

Glory be to You, O Lord

Troparian for the Nativity

Dressed in our best, we'll celebrate Christ's birth with Liturgy and song. After the service, my girls will offer the parishioners the cookies they baked (chocolate chip, cranberry/white chocolate/pecan, coconut snowballs) before everyone goes their separate ways for the rest of the day. We'll sing along to Christmas carols on the radio during our hour long drive home. usually, we get home around four in the afternoon. You can imagine that the children are looking forward to finally opening presents! I try to make them wait so I can get dinner started.

One aspect of our Christmas celebrations which is very important is to wait for everybody. I remember being horrified as a child when friends talked about how their parents would put each child's presents in a separate pile and everyone would just go to town and open them without waiting turns! We start youngest to oldest, and everyone looks at the present-opener and then admires the gift. If the gift-giver is present, the receiver gives them a kiss or hug. We don't go so far as to play a new game during the gift-opening, but a new piece of clothing might be modeled. Because we start gift-opening so late, we might even skype with my family on the West coast or my husband's family in Europe at this time.

Christmas dinner is British- a nod to some of my family's heritage. The menu is roast beef, turkey, plenty of gravy, mashed potatoes made with butter and sour cream, homemade cranberry sauce, popovers, Brussels sprouts (parboil them, then pan roast with kosher salt, fresh ground pepper and a squeeze of lemon- I'll make some carrots the same way) and homemade bread made by the girls. Dessert will be individual trifles (very easy because they can be made ahead except for the whipped cream) plus pumpkin and chocolate pies. Luckily, this year will have some family visiting to help us eat all this food!

On the second day of Christmas, we will again celebrate Christ's birth with church celebrations and lots of food. We'll make time to play with the new games (nope- nothing of the 'video' game variety- we are old school here). We'll take advantage of Dad's relative downtime from work and go play at the park. This year, we are taking the cousins to a rollerskating party with our homeschooling group. And we will Christmas carol as much as possible. It's not like the old country where you walk up and down the streets with many other caroling families. We sometimes drive hours to go Christmas caroling at a parishioner's home. But this is the most important social aspect of the holiday for us. All the homes that welcome us to carol will also have a full spread of holiday appetizers and sweets. Sometimes, it is hard to eat anything at the last home of the day!

Before the season is over, we will eat all the essential foods from my husband's country, Romania. Stuffed cabbage rolls ("sarmale") are probably the most popular food. And yes, we will be served one of my husband's favorites food- calves' foot jelly- while we go to different people's homes to carol during the days between Christmas and New Year's Day. Desserts can vary, but we will eat nut and poppyseed cakes as well as lots of different cookies- Just in time for New Year's resolutions.

An Easy Recipe from the Old Country

Mamaliga (polenta) is a perfect food to make for a large group of people. Boil 4 parts salted water (add 2 spoons of butter to water), then add 1 part corn meal. Use a wire whisk and beat constantly while it boils. Watch out for flying mamaliga! This is not a task for the youngsters. When the mamaliga is thick, turn it on the lowest setting and make the salad. I like to make a salad from peeled Persian cucumber, tomatoes, green onion, chopped Italian parsley, a bit of fresh dill, salt, pepper, vinegar and olive oil. Serve the mamaliga in bowls with feta cheese, sour cream, grated cheese such as Monterey Jack, European-style bacon and Hungarian/Romanian sausage. Enjoy!

‎1 Corinthians:13 --- Christmas version

2011-12-21T08:26:00.000-08:00

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love, I'm just another decorator. If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned mealtime, but do not show love, I'm just another cook. If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love, it profits me nothing. If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata...but do not focus on Christ,I have missed the point. Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband. Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens. Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way. Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return, but rejoices in giving to those who can't. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails.

Inspiration via Youtube

2011-12-20T09:29:00.000-08:00

I really should be cleaning, cooking, organizing, wrapping gifts, painting a door, going to Target for a fourth time to get the photo cards, washing the shoe polish from the two-year old's bare feet (I exaggerate- I did that yesterday)- so I will just share a few Youtube links that were sent my way via my personal facebook page. I don't surf Youtube without direction from trusted friends; there is just too much junk there. If a friend recommends a video, I'll watch it.

Consecration & Epiclesis- Divine Liturgy Series

2011-12-19T11:32:00.000-08:00

Continuing the series on the Divine Liturgy of St John Chrysostom- You might be surprised at the short Eucharistic prayer. Depending on the priest, the silent prayers might be not-so-silent, but there is only one choice for the Eucharist prayer with the exception of the Liturgy of St Basil the Great which is prayed during the Great Lent before Easter. And if I haven't made it clear- this (like the entire Liturgy) is sung unless it is a daily Liturgy and the priest decides to speed it up a bit. We always sing the Liturgy.

PEOPLE: Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord of hosts. Heaven and earth are full of Your glory, hosanna in the highest. Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord, hosanna in the highest.

Priest (silently): With these blessed powers we also, O Master, Lover of men cry and say: Holy are You and all holy, You, and You; only-begotten Son, and Your Holy Spirit; holy are You and all holy and magnificent is Your glory, who so loved Your world that You gave Your only begotten Son, that everyone who believes in Him should not perish, but should have life everlasting; Who, having come and having fulfilled the whole Divine plan concerning us, on the night when He was betrayed, or rather, when He surrendered Himself for the life of the world, He took bread into His holy and all pure and Immaculate hands, gave thanks and blessed, (priest blesses bread) sanctified, broke and gave it to His holy disciples and apostles, saying:

PRIEST: Take, eat, THIS IS MY BODY, which is broken for you for the remission of sins.

PEOPLE: Amen.

Priest (silently): In like manner (priest blesses chalice) also the chalice, after the supper, saying:

PRIEST: Drink of this all, THIS IS MY BLOOD OF THE NEW TESTAMENT, which is shed for you and for many for the remission of sins.

PEOPLE: Amen.

Priest (silently): Remembering, therefore, this salutary command, and all that was done in our behalf: the cross, the tomb, the resurrection on the third day, the ascension into heaven the sitting at the right hand, the second and glorious coming.

The priest lifts the chalice and diskos up and makes the sign of the cross with them, saying:

PRIEST: Thine own of Thine own, we offer You, in behalf of all, and for all.

PEOPLE: We praise You, we bless You, we thank You, O Lord, and we pray to You, our God.

THE EPICLESIS (INVOCATION OF THE HOLY SPIRIT)

Priest (silently): Again we offer to You this spiritual and unbloody sacrifice, and we implore and pray, and entreat You, send down Your Holy Spirit upon us and upon these gifts here present. (Blessing the bread) And make this bread the precious body of Your Christ. (Blessing the chalice) And that which is in this chalice, the precious blood of your Christ. (Blessing both) Having changed them by Your Holy Spirit:

Priest (silently): So that to those who partake of them, they may be for the purification of the soul, for the remission of sins, for the communion in Your Holy Spirit, for the fullness of the heavenly kingdom, for confidence in You, not for judgment or condemnation.

Priest (silently): Moreover, we offer to You this spiritual sacrifice for those who departed in the faith; the forefathers, fathers, patriarchs, prophets, apostles, preachers, evangelists, martyrs, confessors, ascetics and for every righteous spirit who has died in the faith.

PrettyHappyFunnyReal- Terribly Terrific Twos

2011-12-15T11:21:00.000-08:00

Isn't she pretty, happy, funny and real? Pretty, happy and funny are obvious- the real part is baby girl deciding to toilet-train herself with very messy results, getting into anything and everything (more than her three older siblings ever did), and desperately needing to eat or drink anything that happens to be on the kitchen counters. It hasn't been a walk in the park- but she's worth it!

Keep Christ in Christmas

2011-12-14T17:30:00.000-08:00

The Nicene Creed- series on the Divine Liturgy

2011-12-14T17:25:00.000-08:00

PEOPLE: I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible. And I believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God. Born of the Father before all ages. God of God, Light of Light, true God of true God. Begotten, not made, of one substance with the Father. By whom all things were made. Who for us men and for our salvation came down from heaven. And He became flesh by the Holy Spirit of the Virgin Mary: and was made man. He was also crucified for us, suffered under Pontius Pilate, and was buried. And on the third day He rose again, according to the Scriptures. He ascended into heaven and sits at the right hand of the Father. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead. And of His kingdom there will be no end. And I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord and Giver of life, who proceeds from the Father (and the Son). Who together with the Father and the Son is adored and glorified, and who spoke through the prophets. And one holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church. I confess one baptism for the forgiveness of sins. And I await the resurrection of the dead. And the life of the world to come. Amen.

PRIEST: Let us stand well, let us stand with fear, let us be attentive, to offer the holy oblation in peace.

PEOPLE: The mercy of peace, the sacrifice of praise.

PRIEST: The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God the Father, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with all of you.

PEOPLE: And with your spirit.

PRIEST: Let us lift up our hearts.

PEOPLE: We have lifted them up to the Lord.

PRIEST: Let us give thanks to the Lord.

PEOPLE: It is proper and just to worship the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, the Trinity, one in substance and undivided.

Priest (silently): It is proper and just to sing hymns to You, to bless You, to praise You, to thank You, to worship You in every place of Your kingdom; for You are God ineffable inconceivable, invisible, incomprehensible, ever existing, yet ever the same, You, and Your only-begotten Son, and Your Holy Spirit; You brought us forth from non-existence into being, and raised us up again when we had fallen, and left nothing undone, until You brought us to heaven and bestowed upon us Your future kingdom. For all this we give thanks to You, and to Your only-begotten Son, and to Your Holy Spirit, for all that we know and that we do not know, the manifest and the hidden benefits bestowed upon us. We thank You also for this ministry, which You have willed to accept from our hands, even though there stand before You thousands of archangels, myriads of angels, Cherubim and Seraphim, six winged, many-eyed, soaring aloft on their wings

I love the silent prayer that the priest prays at this time- but I have to say a bit about the Nicene Creed and the inclusion or exclusion of the Filioque (Holy Spirit proceeded from the Father and the Son). Some Byzantine Catholics include the Filioque; others do not. This is yet another place the Byzantines are stuck in the middle. Two different perspectives can be found at Orthodoxwiki and Catholic Answers.

This quotation from the Eastern theologian Fr Patrick Reardon might explain why we have theological debates between Catholic and Orthodox (do the Orthodox really dismiss the Immaculate Conception? I don't think so- but they were not part of the discussion when the Pope declared it dogma)--- "I believe that the filioque controversy is not about the composition of the Holy Trinity. It is a controversy about authority in the Church. The East’s objection to the filioque is formal, not material. The East’s objection has to do with a canon of the Council of Ephesus in 431, which anathematizes anyone who adds to the Nicene-Constantinopolitan Creed." Even though I think practical matters are barriers to unity more than these lofty theological problems, the filioque-problem will be with us for a long time.

Do They Know It's Christmas?

2011-12-12T09:16:00.001-08:00

Just a little reminder to consider those 'less fourtunate' this Christmas season. yes, "the poor will always be with us," but it is still part of our faith to look out for others.

Remember 1984? Remember trying to "Feed the World" during the Ethiopian famine and drought? We donated money to the cause, and never got our commemorative t-shirts. The song brings back very fond memories- a time of innocence when Bono didn't wear sunglasses indoors, Sting had a foppish bob and both Boy George and George Michael sang to girls.

Some of the lyrics are silly and Western-centered, "there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime" "where nothing ever grows, no rain or rivers flow" - really?! In all of Africa? They do realize that Ethiopia is just one country in a huge continent? Have they seen photos of the lush, green landscapes that are a part of some parts of the African continent? So all these super-rich singers in this super-group could have donated their monthly paycheck to the charity and they would have collected more than from us simple people. And yes, I never got my t-shirt, Sir Bib Geldof. But I still love the song. Turn it up!

We're on a Mission from God

2011-12-09T14:12:00.001-08:00

What's wrong with this picture? As Blessed Pope John Paul II said, "The Church must breath with two lungs." Here the West is represented by dancers as they might have looked when Saint Juan Diego received the visions of the Virgin Mary, Our Lady of Guadalupe in 1531. The East is represented by Saint Nicholas, the Bishop of Myra (in today's Turkey) and an important father of the Church who was at the Council of Nicea in 325.

Some 'quick takes' on how building a small Byzantine Catholic mission community into a viable parish is not easy in today's world.

We are blessed to be able to celebrate Divine Liturgy for the 'small' mission at a large Roman-rite chapel on Saturday evenings. They also allow us to have fellowship afterwards in their small hall. They even allow us to store our portable icons for the icon screen. But last Easter vigil, we couldn't use the space because the main community wanted a vigil. Imagine if you went to church every week except Easter! (we had the Liturgy in a different place, but most members simply went to the local Roman-rite Mass) Not a good way to build a community.

We were going to celebrate the Liturgy as usual last Saturday evening and we planned an early St Nicholas celebration. But a few days before, we were informed that it would be a Spanish language, Roman-rite Mass to begin the novena for Our Lady of Guadalupe and my husband would be the only priest celebrant (he has bi-ritual faculties for this archdiocese) along with two Roman-rite married deacons.

So, Byzantine St Nicholas still visited and we served old country poppy seed and nut rolls along with the Mexican sweet bread and horchata, but the majority of our tiny group didn't attend because they don't speak Spanish. Myself, I was a little disappointed that the Roman-rite Mass wasn't in English because I wanted to hear the corrected translation! The Spanish was correct all along.

Our eparchy (diocese) is small enough to be a mission itself and the old country does not sponsor Byzantine Catholic endeavors as they do for the state religion of Orthodoxy- so we are on our own. This is one reason why it has been so amazing to have the help of places to celebrate the Liturgy even when we have to make changes because it isn't our own 'house.'

We borrow the space late Sunday mornings for our 'large' mission from a Byzantine church with a different jurisdiction. It is a blessing, but does using a rented space limit our outreach and growth? Perhaps- but that's reality.

Yes, the title of this blog is "fear not little flock"- we'll stay little. We have no choice.This is the way of the world. I just hope and pray we will exist enough to remain at least "little" and not gone completely.

Yes, with God all things are possible. His will be done.

Santa Silliness

2011-12-09T13:47:00.001-08:00

These made me smirk- yes, it is a bit irreverent, but Jesus is talking to 'Santa,' not Saint Nicholas

I've never been that big on the whole 'Santa' thing- Saint Nicholas brings chocolate (usually more courtesy of Father) on his feast day and comes back to fill the stockings on Christmas Eve. Big ticket items are given by the people who actually purchased them. I do love giving surprises; presents are fun even when a minimalist life might be easier. Renee, Byzantine Catholic mother and iconographer extraordinaire, blogged on the whole St Nicholas/ Santa/lying to kids dilemma. What do you think?

PrettyHappyFunnyReal

2011-12-07T22:53:00.001-08:00

Pretty- I think green is a very pretty color, and tea time makes me...

Happy

Funny- My four and a half year old son decided to label my mug with my name with a wayward Sharpie.

Real- notice the fingerprints on the television and the tape that is securing the cord to the book shelf. Just keeping it real...

Saint Nicholas versus Santa Claus

2011-12-06T11:32:00.001-08:00

I was going to write a nice long post but the 'Bad Catholic' beat me to it. I hope Saint Nicholas left everyone something fun in their shoes yesterday!

You were revealed to your flock as a measure of faith.

You were the image of humility and a teacher of self-control.

Because of your humble life, heaven was opened to you.

Because of your poverty,

spiritual riches were granted to you.

O holy Bishop Nicholas we cry out to you:

Pray to Christ our God that our souls may be saved.

stnicholascenter.org

Singing with St Nick- replay

2011-12-06T11:27:00.001-08:00

Jolly old Saint Nicholas, lean your ear this way

Don't you tell a single soul (except the Theotokos and Her Son) what I'm going to say

Christmas Eve is coming soon. Now you dear holy man,

this is what I ask of you; tell me if you can:

Grandma wants the CCHD stopped

I'd like a Douay Rheims

Bunicu wants an easy visa

so he can finally see the States

Father wants the monsignor

to return his calls

The kids should practice Latin-n-Greek

not run around the halls

Big Girl 1 would like a poodle

Big Girl 2 wants another cat

Boy would like more, more cars

who can argue with that?

Big Baby Girl would like a new

wooden kitchen from family far away

She'll have to wait for now

Uncle needs to hit the hay

Bishop & Saint Nicholas

We Byzantines adore

you were a champion of the Faith

We praise your works all the more

Although you're used for commercial gain

we remember your great life

through your intercession now

please help end this world's strife

(my apologies...try to sing to the tune of Jolly Old St Nicholas)

Kontakion of St. Nicholas

...You were truly a priestly worker in Myra,
for zealously living the Gospel of Christ,
you dedicated your life to your people;
you saved the innocent from death.
Therefore you have been sanctified
as one who has entered the mystery of God's grace.

The Great Entrance- Divine Liturgy Series

2011-12-06T11:16:00.001-08:00

The priest goes to the Table of Preparation and takes the diskos and chalice and makes the Great Entrance, processing with altar servants.

Priest: May the Lord God remember in His kingdom, Our Holy universal Supreme Pontiff N . . ., the Pope of Rome, our most reverend Archbishop and Metropolitan N . . ., and our God loving Bishop N . . ., and the entire priestly, diaconal, and monastic order, our civil authorities, and all our armed forces, the noble and ever memorable founders and benefactors of this holy Church, (our suffering brethren), and all you Christians of the true faith, always, now and ever, and forever.

People: Amen. That we may now receive the King of all, invisibly escorted by angelic hosts. Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.

Priest (silently): The noble Joseph took down Your most pure body from the cross, wrapped it in a clean shroud, and with fragrant spices laid it in burial in a new tomb. In Your goodness, show favor to Sion: rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Then You will be pleased with lawful sacrifice, (burnt offerings wholly consumed), then You will be offered young bulls on Your Altar.

Again, the Liturgy is using 'royal' vocabulary to describe the action. We are preparing to receive the king; he is surrounded by an angelic host. The priest is wearing royal garments because of his office and that he is in persona Christi. We bring offerings and decorate the sacred space as well as we can. We give our best to God because He is King of all and worthy of all respect and honor.

St Andrew Prayer in Anticipation of the Nativity

2011-11-30T15:49:00.001-08:00

Hail and blessed be the hour and moment in which the Son of God was born of the most pure Virgin Mary, at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold. In that hour, vouchsafe, O my God! to hear my prayer and grant my desires, through the merits of Our Saviour Jesus Christ, and of His Blessed Mother. Amen.

a video link- scary food for thought

2011-11-30T14:56:00.001-08:00

The Litany of Supplication & the Cherubimic Hymn

2011-11-28T15:19:00.001-08:00

continuing the series on the Divine Liturgy of St John Chrysostom:

After the Sermon, the priest begins the litany:

PRIEST: Let us all say with our whole soul, and with our whole mind, let us say:

PEOPLE: Lord, have mercy.

PRIEST: Lord Almighty, God of our fathers, we pray You, hear us and have mercy.

PEOPLE: Lord, have mercy.

PRIEST: Have mercy on us, O God, according to Your great mercy; we pray You, hear us and have mercy.

PEOPLE: Lord, have mercy. (3 times).

PRIEST (silently): Accept, O Lord our God, this fervent prayer from Your servants and have mercy on us according to Your great mercy, and send down Your benefits upon us and upon all Your people, who expect from You abundant mercies

PRIEST: Again we pray for His Holiness, our universal Pontiff N . . . Pope of Rome, and for our most reverend Archbishop and Metropolitan N . . . , for our God-loving Bishop N . . ., for those who serve and have served in this holy church, for our spiritual fathers, and for all our brethren in Christ.

PEOPLE: Lord, have mercy. (3 times)

PRIEST: We also pray for our civil authorities and for all the armed forces.

PEOPLE: Lord, have mercy. (3 times)

Special intentions may be added here.

PRIEST: We also pray for the people here present who await Your great and abundant mercy, for those who showed us charity, and for all Christians of the true faith.

PEOPLE: Lord, have mercy. (3 times)

PRIEST: For You are a merciful and gracious God, and we render glory to you, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, now and ever, and forever.

PEOPLE: Amen.

PRIEST: All we faithful, again and again in peace let us pray to the Lord.

PEOPLE: Lord, have mercy.

FIRST PRAYER OF THE FAITHFUL

Priest (silently): We thank You, O Lord God of Powers, for having deemed us worthy to stand, at this time, before Your holy Altar, and to prostrate ourselves before Your mercy, for our sins and for the people's misgivings. Accept our prayer, O God, and make us worthy to offer to You prayers and supplications, and unbloody sacrifices for all Your people, and enable us, whom You have placed in this Your ministry through the power of Your Holy Spirit, to call upon You at all times and in all places, without condemnation and offense, with a pure testimony of our conscience, that hearing us, You may be merciful to us according to the magnitude of Your goodness.

SECOND PRAYER OF THE FAITHFUL

Priest (silently): Again, as so many times before, we fall down before You and entreat You, O gracious Lover of mankind, that You may regard our supplication, cleanse our souls and bodies from every defilement of flesh and spirit, and grant that we may stand blameless and without condemnation before Your Holy Altar. Grant also, O God, to those who are praying with us, betterment of life, faith, and spiritual understanding. Grant that they may serve You always with fear and love, that they may blamelessly and without condemnation partake of Your Holy Mysteries, and become worthy of Your heavenly kingdom.

PRIEST: That being ever protected by Your power, we may render glory to You, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and ever, and forever.

PEOPLE: Amen.

Priest (silently): No one who is bound by carnal desires and pleasures is worthy to come to You, to approach You, or to minister to You, the King of glory, for to minister to You is great and awesome, even to the heavenly powers themselves. Yet, because of Your ineffable and boundless love for mankind, though in nature unchanged and unchangeable, You became man and were made our high priest and, as Master of all, gave Into our keeping the holy office of this liturgical and unbloody sacrifice. For You alone, O Lord our God, rule over all things in heaven and on earth, and are borne on the cherubic throne, and are the Lord of the Seraphim and King of Israel, Who alone are holy and dwell in the saints. Therefore, I beseech You, Who alone are gracious and ready to hear me; look favorably upon me, Your sinful and unprofitable servant, and cleanse my heart and soul of an evil conscience, and by power of Your Holy Spirit, enable me, clothed with the grace of the priesthood, to stand before this Your holy altar, and offer the sacrifice of Your sacred and most pure body and precious blood. With bowed head, I approach You and implore You, turn not Your face away from me, nor exclude me from among Your children, but allow these gifts to be offered to You by me, Your sinful and unworthy servant; for it is You, O Christ, our God, Who offer and are offered, who receive and are received, and to You we render glory, with Your eternal Father, and Your all holy, gracious and life-creating Spirit, now and ever, and for ever. Amen.

Priest raises up his hands and silently says the Cherubimic Hymn 3 times.

CHERUBIMIC HYMN

PEOPLE: Let us, who mystically represent the Cherubim, and sing the thrice-holy hymn to the life-creating Trinity, now set aside every earthly cares...

The Cherubimic Hymn is what prepares us for the portion of the Liturgy dedicated to the consecration of the bread and wine to the Body and Blood of Christ. We sing the hymn to remind ourselves to set aside all worldly cares because we are about to witness an act that is other-worldly. Like the 'Holy, Mighty and Immortal' hymn earlier in the Liturgy, this is also a time when most of the people will sing. But what does it mean?

We "represent the cherubim"? Aren't we only human? Isn't it too much to say that we believers are acting the role of the Cherubim during the Liturgy? What are cherubim anyway? As angels, they were created to praise God; specifically, cherubim were the guardians. So, if we "represent the cherubim" we are to praise God during the Liturgy and always and also stand guard or stand witness. This can be a very tall order when the little ones are wiggling by this point, but this is the goal.

a bit of silliness

2011-11-26T04:00:00.000-08:00

Shopping with Jesus- replay

2011-11-25T04:00:00.000-08:00

So my Black Friday rant didn't convince you to sleep in today. It's four in the morning, and you are prepping for the onslaught of shopping. I don't blame you; there are too many good deals to be had. And you go to Mass all the time, so this is not a shopping day of obligation for you like those that worship at the cathedral of stuff. Anyway, priest's wives shouldn't judge. In any case, here's some unsolicited advice for the Friday shopper.

Shop with Jesus. Say a prayer before you sip that early morning coffee. Let the other car get in front of you. Don't even try to get a good parking space. Just park as far out as possible and say a decade of the rosary while you walk into the store. Have a smile on your face for everybody because Jesus Christ is by your side, and you are preparing for His birthday.
Don't charge anything that can't be paid off before a month passes. Many people are in dire financial situations these past few years. Don't compound the problem (literally) by allowing a balance on your credit card. Be truthful with your family and simplify! Even though it is heart-breaking to see a child go without a toy they wanted, the stress avoided by not carrying a balance is a greater gift to the entire family.
Shop with intention. Try to go free trade or homemade as much as possible. For the adults in your life, buy things that don't add to the clutter. If you have no ideas but simply must buy a gift, get a nice candle.
Have a list and stick to it. This will lessen the feelings of panic. You have a plan.
Focus on the kids. While we don't want our kids to be materialistic, it is fun to get toys and other treasures on such a special day. My kids won't be getting an I-phone like some of their acquaintances. We don't try to keep up with the (credit card dependent) Joneses, but we do make sure the stockings are stuffed with little goodies and there are a few things under the tree- lots of practical things that I have held off buying and some just for fun. Last year, we focused mainly on books- a luxury because we usually either check out at the library or buy used.
Next year, turn off the television after August 1st. No more commercials to prep the kids for buying season! We borrow DVDs from the library or Netflix, so our children aren't exposed to commercials at all. Even so, every show is a means to get parents to buy stuff- even commercial-free PBS. If my child wants a toy because they really want it, I will consider getting it. I refuse to buy because an advertisement said that this is the thing to get if you really love your kids. I am stubborn that way.

"Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." -2 Corinthians 9:7

Lord, I thank You for Your blessings. Whether in plenty or with little, I want to be a cheerful giver. I desire to give from a full heart that serves, no reluctantly or with complaining. I long to see Your money used in ways that will bless others—through my tithing at church, giving to missions, or helping the needy. I choose to give —and I ask You to bless it. ---from beliefnet

O God, give me the grace to shop wisely so I may purchase eternal happiness for myself and all others in need of love. ---from mamarock

The Church of Stuff- replay

2011-11-24T04:00:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is a holy day of obligation for many consumers. They prepared for their worship of stuff by checking the ads, reading and comparing the best prices. They have their cell phones charged for communicating with friends who they are shopping with and have prepared their driving schedules to get to all the right stores. Although an hour or two is too much on Sundays for church (too busy), many will wake up before the sun rises to get the best deals on goods most likely made in China or another country that has no employee or environmental protections.

I don't shop on the day after Thanksgiving- or the day after Christmas for that matter. There are many days where I can find 'great deals' on random stuff. It is just too depressing to see all the consumerism in preparation of a holy day where we will remember a tiny baby- who is God- born in a cave to parents who had almost nothing. On the years where I have ventured out to shop a bit on 'Black Friday,' I see people (not assuming- I know these people) who don't believe in Christ and actually are hostile towards His Church. Why are they charging stuff on a credit card to commemorate a holy day that they despise and scoff at?

Culturally, we love to give gifts for Christmas. We love the excitement of kids running down the stairs to check their stockings. I love that, too. I have great memories as a child of opening gifts. I love to give gifts. But the endless supply of STUFF that we Westerners get from poorer nations at cheap prices is not a way to celebrate Christ's birth.

I am trying to be more intentional in my gift giving. I encourage you to do so as well- Read this post to see where I am coming from on certain aspects of Christmas consumerism- Let us all avoid being parishioners at the Church of Stuff. I promise to stop writing about this- but it is on my heart right now. But for today-

I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving day!

A psalm for ThanksgivingMake a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.
Serve the Lord with gladness; come before his presence with singing.
Know ye that the Lord he is God; it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise; be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations. (Psalm 100:1-5).

just for laughs

2011-11-23T20:40:00.001-08:00

Easterners in a Western World

2011-11-22T03:00:00.000-08:00

Nutcracker Craziness(tm) makes for a crazy schedule. The studio we work with makes sure that Saturday evening rehearsals end before 6 PM and Sunday rehearsals don't begin before 1 pm. So, any normal person would be able to get to a church service with no problem. We are not normal people. So, for two weeks, we (not Father) miss Saturday vigil at the little mission and Sunday Divine Liturgy at the big mission. We attend Mass at the closest parish to fulfill our obligation and feel bad that we aren't completely together as a family. It isn't often, though- so we go with it.

This year, 4 year old boy and 2 year old girl were especially squirrely. Do you remember Steve Martin when he was a "wild and crazy guy" on SNL? Boy used exactly that intonation when he said, "This church is craaaaaazy!" while we were seated listening to the Epistle. I don't know what was so crazy about it. He might have been reacting to the fact that it was a woman lector reading the Epistle instead of a male cantor singing it, but my boy couldn't clarify over my shushing him. He has been to Roman-rite Masses before (but usually in a hospital setting), so I don't know what was bothering him. Sometimes small children have a real problem with change.

Not receiving the Eucharist is the next hurdle. I prepped the four-year old by simply saying that they don't give the Body of Christ to little children at this parish. He was disappointed, but his age is perfect for accepting 'the rules.' The two-year old is another story all together. Going up the aisle to get a blessing from the priest, I had a pit in my stomach. I knew that she would throw a fit when she realized she would not receive Jesus, just a blessing. There was a little gap between the person in front of us and my family, so much so I guess that the priest decided that the line was done and went to the other side to help the Eucharistic ministers. So there was not even a blessing and a girl who was starting to throw a fit. So I communicated to my big girls to go hunt down the Eucharist if they desired to receive and to stay in church while I wrangled the two little ones outside.

We waited outside for Mass to finish. There was a table selling religious goods, and a woman handed me some information about the Fatima Mary statue that would be visiting the parish in a few weeks. Baby girl was still crying a bit and the kind woman asked, "Why is she crying?" I decided to throw caution to the wind and told her, "Well, we are Byzantine Catholics so she usually receives the Eucharist and she is upset that she couldn't receive here." The three women at the table were shocked when I continued, stating that we receive baptism, confirmation and First Communion as infants. They asked "Why?" I tried to keep it very simple- that the historic order of sacraments for all rites was confirmation before Eucharist no matter the age of reception, and that the Eastern way emphasizes our need for grace above book knowledge, and isn't it wonderful that the Universal Church in union with Rome has so many diverse rites? The kind woman gave me a weak smile and waved her hand in the direction of the RCIA booth- she said "Perhaps you would like to look into RCIA classes?" It was nice to be invited, but since I am already Catholic, I declined her offer.

After Nutcracker 2011

2011-11-21T13:05:00.001-08:00

When it stops being fun, they'll stop taking classes- but for now, they still have the love of dance

Yes, this photo is old- they were 'garland girls' in the Waltz as usual, and I didn't get backstage to take new photos of them in their Russian costumes. A day to relax, and then preparations for Christmas start full steam!

The $350 Bowl of Soup

2011-11-16T12:27:00.001-08:00

Since I haven't written about priest/wife/family in a while, I thought I would write a little post about a not-so-good day. These kinds of days of much more exciting than the run of the mill good day anyway. And this story has FIRE!

My husband had a hospital work-related all-day meeting in the big city an hour away on a work day. We decided to tag along and go to a children's museum. We would meet late and go have a bowl of homemade meatball soup at an older parishioner's apartment.

It was my fault. I thought the kids would be really worn out by the museum, so I didn't bring anything for them to do in the apartment. I spent a good half hour wrangling the four year old and two year old with the help of the rest of us before the soup was served. The four year old was willing to sit nicely while he was eating. The two year old lived up to the stereotype of her age. She was just fascinated by the ceramic and crystal knick-knacks on the coffee and end tables. My husband was exhausted after eight hours of the palliative care conference. I was tired after a day of running after the kids at the museum as were my big girls. We thought we were watching the two-year old. I don't remember her going into the kitchen, but I guess she did.

She was on my lap, eating soup when I saw a flicker reflecting in the living room window. There was fire in the kitchen. Our hostess (elderly and recovering from foot surgery) and my husband ran to the kitchen to try and put out the fire. We called the fire station for help. Smoke was just billowing through the apartment and the commercial grade fire alarm screeched in the apartment complex hallway. None of the neighbors thought to get the fire extinguisher that was right down the hall. My husband and the woman battled the flames until the firemen came and put it out. The fire wasn't that bad, but the smoke was- a plastic cutting board was on top of the stove when my daughter turned on the burners.

All was well. No one got hurt. We packed ourselves up after cleaning as much as possible. Luckily, the cabinets and counters were fine, and my husband hadn't burnt himself that badly. I felt bad of the example I made with the kids, staying in an apartment and fighting a fire. But then, the entire place would have gone up in flames in the six minutes it took the fire department to get there if we hadn't stayed. Buying her a new stove wasn't possible because her old apartment was sized for a custom, narrow stove. So we had to pay her apartment manager for an electrician to make some repairs to the original stove.

And even though the parishioner is fine and she gives me a hug after Divine Liturgy, I always feel shame that I didn't keep all eyes on that girl of mine. We are supposed to be the 'good ones,' and we failed because we gave ourselves over to our feelings of exhaustion for a while. Clergy and clergy families are not allowed to be exhausted and 'drop the ball.' Who made the rules? We did! and That was the most expensive bowl of soup I ever had.

....I could also tell you about the $1200 door panel my husband had to pay for after bumping into a car in an empty parking lot after celebrating a hospital Mass on Mother's Day to get a $50 stipend....but I shouldn't complain...

And the Winners are...

2011-11-15T11:31:00.001-08:00

Allie and MadCow!

Send a snail mail address to my email- remnantofremnant@gmail.com to claim your 'Byzantine Pack'

Thanks to everyone for entering and for my big girls for randomly choosing the winners out of a hat.

I have three books ready to go for a Great Lent giveaway- so don't despair, you have another chance in a few months.

Before The Nativity of Our Lord

2011-11-15T01:00:00.000-08:00

So St Philip's Fast is upon us! This season of sacrifice and preparation for Christmas is another example of the 'see-saw' nature of the Christian life. One needs to fast before the feast.

Here are some places to go for more information on this season:

a blog post of mine from last year, a different way of fasting

a meditation on the fast from Byzcath.org

a great post from Catholic Mothers Online about fasting and feasting

The following is taken from the blog Monks and Mermaids : St. Paul also reminds us that “the Kingdom of God is not food and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Romans 14:17). Thus, our preparation during the Fast of St. Philip is more than just abstinence. Make more time for prayer and acts of charity. Visit the sick, do acts of kindness towards your neighbors, help those who are in need of your assistance, make more time for your family. The possibilities are endless.

As St. John Chrysostom said:

Let the hands fast, by being free from avarice.

Let the feet fast, by ceasing to run after sin.

Let the eyes fast, by disciplining them not to glare at that which is sinful.

Let the ears fast, by not listening to evil talk and gossip.

Let the mouth fast from foul words and unjust criticism.

For what good is it if we abstain from birds and fishes, but bite and devour our brothers?

The Epistle and Gospel- series on the Divine Liturgy

2011-11-14T11:46:00.001-08:00

some quick thoughts on the 'reading' portion of the Byzantine Divine Liturgy

The Old Testament is not read during the Divine Liturgy- that portion is used during vespers, matins, etc.
The readings are always sung- usually. They might be read during a non-Sunday or feast day Liturgy, but I experience this very rarely.
You will notice that the priest intones 'Be attentive!' before the epistle and Gospel are sung. This is another example of the Bible being an extremely important part of our faith- and that some people might need reminding of that truth.
In most U.S. Byzantine churches, the homily is given directly after the Gospel. Some do it at the end of the Divine Liturgy after people have received the Eucharist. I suppose one argument for hearing the homily after receiving the Eucharist would be that the people would be disposed to hearing truth after they have physically received truth in the Body and Blood of Christ. Unfortunately, this sometimes leads to people coming to Liturgy just at the end to hear the homily because they weren't going to receive the Eucharist. This is especially true for the Orthodox Church in the old country where people don't tend to receive the Eucharist frequently.
Depending on the priest, he might invite the children to stand in front of the gold-covered Gospel book while he is singing the reading. They will then kiss the Gospel book before they sit down to listen to the homily
Depending on the priest, 'silent' prayers might not be very silent

PRIEST (silently): Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord. Blessed are You on the throne of the glory of Your kingdom, enthroned upon the Cherubim, always, now and ever, and forever.

PRIEST: Be attentive! Peace be to all. Wisdom, be attentive.

PEOPLE: (Say the Prokemen proper to the day.)

PRIEST: Wisdom!

READER: The reading of the Epistle of N . . .

PRIEST: Let us be attentive!

READER: Brethren . . .

When the Epistle is finished the priest intones:

PRIEST: Peace be with you. Wisdom! Be attentive

PEOPLE: Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

PRIEST (silently): 0 Gracious Master, pour forth into our hearts the spotless light of Your divine knowledge and open the eyes of our minds that we may understand the teachings of Your Gospel. Instill in us also the fear of Your blessed commandments, so that, having curbed all carnal desires, we may lead a spiritual life, both thinking and doing everything that pleases You. For You, O Christ, our God, are the enlightenment of our souls and bodies, and to You we render glory, together with Your eternal Father, and with Your all holy, good and life-creating Spirit, now and ever, and forever. Amen.

PRIEST: Wisdom, let us stand upright and listen to the Holy Gospel. Peace be with you.

PEOPLE: And with your spirit.

PRIEST: The reading of the Holy Gospel according to N. . .

PEOPLE: Glory be to You, O Lord, glory be to You.

PRIEST: Let us be attentive.

The Priest reads the Gospel

After the reading of the Gospel, the priest kisses the closed Gospel Book and places it in the middle of the Altar. The people say:

PEOPLE: Glory be to You, O Lord, glory be to You.

The Priest now gives a sermon.

last day for -- A little GIVEAWAY

2011-11-14T11:36:00.000-08:00

One of the themes of this blog is the 'littleness' of the Eastern Catholic Churches- especially the Byzantine rite because that is the rite I know best. I wanted to celebrate this littleness with a little giveaway- in time for St Philip's Fast (beginning November 15th). St Philip's Fast is the Byzantine Advent season to prepare for the Nativity of the Lord.

EDIT- read this fabulous post on preparing for the Advent fast. Consider fasting a bit in preparation for the Christmas season that begins on Christmas day (the 'second day of Christmas' is the day after Christmas day, right?)

I will be giving away two little "Byzantine packs"- a book on meditations of the Divine Liturgy and a few other items- to two randomly selected commenters. To enter, simply write a comment below. If you prefer to remain anonymous in the combox, write a nickname so I can differentiate between different anonymous readers. If you win, please be willing to send me a mailing address to my gmail address (remnantofremnant@gmail.com).

I'll announce the 2 lucky winners on Nov 15th!
Bon Chance!

PrettyHappyFunnyReal

2011-11-10T09:36:00.001-08:00

Pretty

If you ever have a pile of money and some time and a passport, go to Gaming, Austria in the fall. The colors will stay in your mind forever. And then go back in the winter when the waterfall there will be frozen blue. In the spring, the meadows will be covered with wildflowers. You can probably tell that I am missing four real seasons.

Happy, Funny

James Thurber is my favorite humorist nowadays- if you have never enjoyed his writing- start with James Thurber's Carnival.

Real

Ray Bradbury is another fall favorite- but he couldn't be more different than Thurber. The movie Something Wicked This Way Comes is very good, but don't let the PG rating fool you. It has children as its stars, but the story and movie are really not for kids.

I guess I am in a melancholic mood, because Bradbury's short story All Summer in a Day is speaking to me. I found the old 70's film on Youtube. The story is better, but check it out.

A November Daybook

2011-11-08T11:08:00.000-08:00

Outside my window...the laundry is drying on a rack...hopefully it isn't too cold. What do those with a rainy climate and no dryer do? And how does one get rid of all the lint without a dryer? Being 'green' can be romantic- except my laundry is rough and linty. Any advice or tips- please leave a comment!

I am thinking... that it is too cold to be without heat. We had a low of about 40 degrees and I am not turning on the furnace because of possible asbestos. My toes are cold.

I am thankful... that my cell phone finally can receive phone calls! It only took an hour on the phone with customer service and about 10 20-digit secret codes. Weird.

From the learning rooms... we really need to work on penmanship! Daughter #2- a really good student and 'advanced' in many areas- has penmanship that makes her look really young. I'm afraid she needs glasses.

In the kitchen...I need to throw a turkey in the oven. The prices during this season are too good to pass up, so I usually roast about six turkeys between now and New Year's.

I am wearing...nothing special. I really need to start getting inspired...

I am creating...a few Christmas surprises.

I am going...to need to adjust to this time change. I really don't like it when the little ones wake up before I do! I am struggling to wake up with a SERVIAM on my lips.

I am wondering... how my discipline/department at my college is going to survive. It's really bad.

I am re-reading...Pride and Prejudice- such a great book.

I am hoping...that one of my sisters plus her lovely family will make it here for Christmas! Please Please Please

I am looking forward to... finishing Nutcracker. that is all.

I am hearing... four kids running around the house, pretending to be monsters/dogs/cats

Around the house... I'm to the point where we need to re-paint (and 'thin no more'- hahaha), but with a 2 year old, we probably should wait until she is out of the drawing on walls stage.

I am pondering... all the good that '40 days for Life' has done for families and babies.

Some favorite things... Irish breakfast tea, big girls that read to little kids, playing cars with my son, a husband that got his bullet proof vest for his police chaplain ride-alongs, the feast of Saint Nicholas coming up (Dec 6th- and yes- he's an Eastern saint!)

A few plans for the rest of the week: getting ready for St. Phillip's Fast (our Advent- starting November 15th)

A photo to share: He's now 4 and a half, but he's still my precious little pumpkin!

The Thrice-Holy Hymn- series on the Divine Liturgy

2011-11-08T10:35:00.000-08:00

Following the Third Antiphon, the cantor and the people sing the tropars and kondaks proper to the day.)

PRAYER OF THE THRICE HOLY GOD

PRIEST (silently): O holy God abiding in the saints, praised by the thrice-holy hymn of the Seraphim, glorified by the Cherubim and adored by all the heavenly powers, You brought all things out of nothingness into being, and created man to Your own image and likeness, and adorned him with Your every gift; You give wisdom and under standing to him who asks, and despising not the sinner, You ordain repentance for salvation. You have allowed us, Your humble and unworthy servants, to stand at this time before the glory of Your holy altar and to offer to You due adoration and praise. Accept, O Master, from the lips of us sinners the thrice holy hymn, and visit us in Your goodness. Forgive us every offense voluntary and involuntary, sanctify our souls and bodies and grant that we may serve You in holiness all the days of our life; through the prayers of the holy Mother of God and all the saints, who have pleased You throughout the ages.

PRIEST: For You, our God are Holy, and to You we give glory, to the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever.

PEOPLE: Amen.

THRICE-HOLY HYMN

PEOPLE: Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us. (3 times)

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever. Amen.

Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us.

Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us.

The Thrice-Holy Hymn is the portion of the Divine Liturgy where even the most reluctant will sing with full voice. Perhaps because it is simple or repetitive, but it is wonderful to hear everyone singing. Participation in the Mass means different things to different people. Showing up is the first step. Really praying is the next step. Joining in the physical postures of the Mass with fellow believers would be next- making the sign of the cross, standing, sitting, kneeling. Singing, no matter how well or badly, is an important part of our Divine Liturgy. For myself, it is an essential part. I don't sing as well as I did in the past because I suffered with vocal nodules and now one paralyzed vocal chord, but I still sing. This portion of the Divine Liturgy is a favorite because everyone tends to join in singing. It is simple enough for the children to sing as well. There is nothing cuter than a four year old singing this short hymn!

Next year, In Jerusalem

2011-10-31T12:16:00.000-07:00

The Little Entrance- Divine Liturgy series

2011-10-31T12:03:00.000-07:00

Continuing the series on the Byzantine Catholic Divine Liturgy, we are at the point in the Liturgy where the priest and altar servants procession with the Gospel book:

LITTLE ENTRANCE

The priest makes three bows, then a procession is formed and the priest carries the Gospel Book around the Altar.

PRIEST (silently): O Lord, our Master and God, Who in heaven established orders and armies of angels and archangels for the service of Your glory, make this our entrance to be an entrance of holy angels, serving together with us, and with us glorifying Your goodness. For to You is due all glory, honor and worship, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, now and ever, and forever. Amen.

Making the sign of the cross towards the Altar, he says:

Blessed is the entrance of Your saints, always, now and ever, and forever.

The priest kisses the Gospel Book, elevates it and says aloud:

PRIEST: Wisdom! Be attentive!

PEOPLE: Come, let us worship and bow down before Christ.

PEOPLE: O Son of God, risen from the dead, save us who sing to You. Alleluia.

There are many wonderful theologically rich commentaries on our Liturgy that you can find on the internet, so I will just say this- at this point in the Liturgy, I think to myself- wow....we Byzantines are really Bible believers to love the Gospel so much.

I hope you all have a blessed All Hallow's Eve (yes, All Saints' Day is a Roman-rite feast)- and don't forget to write a comment in my 'little giveaway' post if you are interested in being entered to win.

and this Ukrainian Catholic parish has a good website on the Divine Liturgy

Grocery Shopping Once a Week- 7 QuickTakes

2011-10-28T01:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in the grocery line at 6 PM with a full cart of groceries, still not certain what is for dinner? I've been there, and I am sick of the wasted time and money. I am on a once a week shopping kick- I invite you to join me!

1. Plan your meals around your schedule, fasting/feasting times, possible guests. "P's W"- you ask- "Aren't you forty; don't you know this already?"....well, no... Leila of Like Mother, Like Daughter recommends planning all three meals for every day. I'm slowly getting there.

2. Do 'save a step' cooking- again, advice from Like Mother, Like Daughter (just go there- link to the right under 'eclectic links')- basically, if you have meals planned, plan to cook twice (not once a month- who really has time for that? or the freezer space? not me!) what you need- chop and brown ground beef, onions and peppers for today's spaghetti sauce and Thursday's chili. If you plan your meals, you will know if the extras need to be frozen or refrigerated.

3. Bring one child shopping as a helper. I alternate my 2 big girls for our early Saturday morning shopping trips. We go to coffee and four stores from 7:30 to 9 and then make a big late breakfast. I like bringing one child for a little bonding and comparison shopping learning time; also, I can keep her engaged while we are waiting at the check-out to keep her eyes away from the tabloids.

4. Hide your ingredients. Just because you bought it doesn't mean it is fair game to eat today! I'm not his mother, but I do let my husband know which essentials need to stay uneaten for my meal plan to work. I am also trying to buy official snacks and goodies for him to bring to the hospital so he has something to munch on besides vending machine fare. This week, he has Coke Zero, sunflower seeds and Trader Joe's sesame seed sticks to take to work.

5. Have a few essentials in the pantry so you will never need to shop more than once a week. Flour for emergency bread and chocolate chips for emergency cookies, etc, etc

6. Freeze a gallon of milk. Take out a little to allow for expansion while freezing. Then, when milk gets low in the fridge, take out the frozen one to defrost slowly in the fridge.

7. Have a big box of dried milk on hand (or if you can handle the taste- cans of evaporated milk)- going out for only milk turns into time, gas and money wasted. Who among us only buys milk when only milk is on the list? Not me, I assure you. I have also been using milk powder instead of formula if my bigger-than-average two year old needs something in the night (yes, it should be water- I'm just not ready for the three nights of screaming when we do this change)

--- and why is milk so essential? Well, I need it in my morning tea.

and a bonus quick take-

Stop wasting food! In the old country, my mother-in-law doesn't have a garbage disposal, so they don't throw out any food. You finish what is on your plate, beginning with smaller portions than typical American ones. Then, leftovers go into the fridge and are not forgotten. Any scraps like peels and cores are saved to bring to great-grandmother's pigs. Bones and random yucky meat stuff are saved for her dogs and cats.

Well, I don't have pigs or dogs and our cat refuses any table food. Our townhouse is too small for composting. I do have a freezer and fridge where I can save bits of meat and veggies for mystery soup and bits of fruit for mystery smoothies.

find many more quick takes at conversiondiary.com

PrettyHappyFunnyReal- Peanutbutter Candy a la My Hippy Mom

2011-10-26T22:02:00.000-07:00

My parents were hippies- sort of. My dad was a Chicano-wannabe in a jellyroll, beatnik-type who strolled the streets of Pacific Palisades saying "Elvis stole music from the black man!" (truer words were never spoken- love you, Dad!). My mom graduated high school the last year that girls would set their curls in a flip and wear tailored skirts to class. By the time I came along in 1971, my mother had long, straight hair parted down the middle and an affinity for exotic health food like yogurt, whole grains and carob.

We didn't eat junk food as kids, so any treats like Panda licorice, maple sugar Santas, rice paper covered Japanese jelly candies were well-remembered and enjoyed. The following recipe is one of my favorites- and I don't really go wild for peanut butter.

Priest's Wife's 'Madeleines' -or- Mom's Peanut Butter Candy

1 cup real peanut butter
1 cup non fat dry milk
1/2 cup honey
1 tsp almond extract

Mix all ingredients well. Using wax paper, shape into a log. Wrap in wax paper and freeze. When firm, slice and serve

This candy is my 'pretty, happy, funny, real' for Thursday. My mom was really pretty as she made this for us. We kids were so happy when she made it for us. It might be funny for kids to be excited over 'healthy' candy, but we were. And my real? My mom lives so far away, I'll have to make the candy myself....miss you, Mom!

UU and me, part two

2011-10-26T01:00:00.000-07:00

Last week, I went to a local laundromat to dry some cleaned laundry because my machine is broken and it was a very overcast, cold day, making it impossible to line-dry. The people at the laundromat were the typical hodgepodge of college students, motorcycle men on a cross-country trip, low-income-appearing moms, and a business woman talking on her cellphone while she cleaned up after her teacup dog who had thrown up over all the bedclothes.

Outside, there were two men and a woman who staked their claim to the benches. They were squabbling over the fact that they didn't have change for the machines and the dollar-changer was broken. I gave them two dollars in quarters, they thanked me, and the woman went off to the nearby grocery store. They never did any laundry in the hour I was there. Maybe it was their way of begging without a sign. In any case, my encounter got me to thinking about Christian 'charity' versus the Unitarian philosophy of humanism.

All three seemed to be homeless and maybe a little mentally ill. They all had beer cans and a cigarette. One of the men stood out, however. He answered his colleagues normally, but then he would twitch and talk to someone who was not there. He didn't seem dangerous; it made me sad. He sat in a wheelchair, and his pant legs were like broken balloons. A small stream of beer or urine or both flowed from his wheelchair. I had to step over the stream to give the change to his friend.

As I stifled a cough from the stench of this man and gave him a little money, I wondered why the Unitarians in my town are focusing on the homeless such as he. They are doing a big push to end homelessness and to "raise awareness" of the problem in our city. We have 'section 8' housing for low-income families who are able to do paperwork and qualify. We have moderate income housing available as well. We have shelters such as Salvation Army and county facilities for people who don't have a stable situation and might not even have identification. But as far as I know, these shelters will not give a bed to a person who is obviously under the influence. So, this man has nowhere to go if he can't or won't say yes to the help that the county provides (drug/alcohol rehab, psychiatric help and maybe medication, a required shower and clean clothes to sleep in a county facility)

Why do we as a society do anything and spend any money to help 'these kinds' of people? "Are there no prisons?" says Ebenezer. Will the man in the wheelchair sitting in his own urine and speaking to a ghost ever contribute anything positive to society? Will his life ever have even a neutral effect on society or will 'normal' people have to continue to hold their breath and avert their eyes when they pass by him?

We try to help men like him (with private and public means) because:

there is potential for rehabilitation (he will then be a positive contributor to society)

our society wants people to live at a certain level of dignity in a clean and safe environment (he will be a neutral, non-disruptive part of society)

we 'normal' people are uncomfortable with other people living too far below our level and know that our society is rich enough to guarantee a life where the mentally ill and homeless won't bother us too much because they get basic services

all human life has dignity and worth no matter the life stage, physical or mental health, income level, etc (he may remain a 'negative contributor' to society, but he will be helped by society simply because he is a human person with intrinsic worth)

But why does human life have intrinsic worth? And if human life has intrinsic worth and dignity, doesn't that mean that we need to value all human life- especially that life which is the weakest and most at risk?

This is where the Unitarian parts ways with the Christian. For the Unitarian, human life has dignity because of whatever reason that person believes. At the church where my daughters are meeting for drama class, the focus is on the mentally-ill homeless. Now, if this were simply their focus (no one can solve every problem- we use the talents and means we have- and what we feel called and motivated to do) and they had a consistent respect for human life, I would not quibble. But it was devastating to see a sign-up to help the homeless right next to the "Stand with Planned Parenthood!" signs and a sign-up to work on legalizing euthanasia.

The surprise pregnancy and the sick elderly are just as unwanted and challenging as the mentally ill homeless, so why won't this Unitarian congregation stand up for them? Why don't the baby and the elderly have the same human dignity as the mentally ill? Do only those six months (for some, the young infant is not a fully-formed person) to sixty years have the right to ask for the help and support of the Unitarians?

For the Christian person, all human life has been made in the image of God. This means that life has value even when it is messy and inconvenient. The fetus, the child with a disease or disorder, the mentally ill, the prisoner, the housewife, the brain surgeon, the terminally ill, the elderly- all are human; all have value. I just wish that we Christians could be Christian enough to convince Unitarians of this fact.

UU and me

2011-10-25T00:30:00.000-07:00

This school year, my daughters' Shakespeare class is held in the multi-purpose room of a Unitarian church. I was the 'room mom' this past Friday, so I stayed in case I was needed and perused the bulletin boards and pamphlets available.

I was baptized Episcopalian, spent an extended time with the Quakers, and hopped around with the Methodists, Presbyterians, and non-denominational Christians for a while before my family and I became Catholic when I was twelve and a half. My mother was involved with a Buddhist/New Age guru when I was a kindergartener, so I have a non-Christian experience as well. This is the first time I have been to a 'church' that officially believes that there is no final truth to be taught by a church.

Here is their mission statement:

"We the members of the Unitarian Universalist Church of ______ , united by our religious liberal tradition seek truths and meaning, and commit to right action. We will nurture our congregation and carry our principles forth to better ourselves, our community and our planet. To these purposes, we pledge our hearts, our hands, our minds, our means."

An Invitation from Rev. Jan

"When I first visited a Unitarian Universalist Church, it felt like coming home. I never knew such a place existed. I knew more then about what I didn't believe than what I did believe. I wanted a place that would encourage my questions and honor my skepticism and provide a community at the same time. What I have found over the years is a place that has inspired me to move beyond focusing on what I don't believe to what I do believe. And more importantly, it is a place beyond belief. It is a place that emphasizes our freedom to believe whatever we must in order to live ethical, loving lives and helps connect us to something bigger than ourselves. Our good news is that "we need not think alike to love alike." If this is what you are looking for, I hope to meet you soon at a Sunday morning worship service. Come nurture your spirit and help heal our world."

The problem with all this social justice in a no-supreme-truth setting is that

it is inconsistent (I'll explore this idea tomorrow)
they have their eyes only on this world
they do have a supreme truth (at this location, I'm not certain if UU's 'doctrine' is centralized)- this truth is God is 'green.'

UU members have their eyes on this world only

None of their literature nor their 'liturgy' is focused on the afterlife. Officially, it exists only for those UU members that want (or "must") to believe in a heaven. At this location, UU members lean towards Buddhism and Humanism.

Their liturgy focuses on making personal moral choices with no guidance from the outside (ie. dogma or religious leaders) and singing of self-acceptance and self-healing

This philosophy is clearly at odds with nearly all religious traditions. For Christians of all kinds, we do everything with eternity as our motivation. For a mother, we can make caring for our children a prayer to God, aligning ourselves with those saints of old who experienced the same struggles. As far as I could see, the only concrete reason to be a 'good' parent in the UU tradition is because "I choose to treat my baby with good care because I am a humanist."

But keeping your eyes on this life can be a plus. How many times, reader, have you changed a baby on the floor of a Catholic church's bathroom? I have, many times. This UU church (with posters declaring "We stand with Planned Parenthood!") has a fully stocked changing table, a baby toilet, a baby toilet insert for a big toilet, and two stepping stools for little ones to wash their hands. I say, if the Catholic Church is going to preach pro-life, we need to start with changing tables in all bathrooms. A little dignity goes a long way for a new mother.

The supreme truth- God is GREEN

Since this world is all there is, ecology is the true religion for (this congregation) UU. One can believe anything when attending a UU church, except one must accept ecology as a requirement.

UU members drive electric and hybrid cars as 'statements'- they realize that coal is burned to make the electricity to fuel the cars, but raising ecological awareness is the important aspect of driving a hybrid.

For other religions and for Christians, ecology can play a large part in our theology but for contrasting reasons with UU members. We are superior to plants and animals and thus should be stewards of creation. Animals may be used as food for humans. Resources (such as oil) may be used by humans. We compost to make our gardens grow better, not because composting is a sacrament. We recycle because we can get good use out of resources again, not because filling dumps is an insult to Gaia.

But being GREEN can have its upside, too. I love that the members leave a coffee cup for after church. I love buying free trade, organic coffee and chocolate. I have no problem with recycling- even though sometimes the recycling company just throws it all together in the landfill. I totally agree with reusing and thrifting, but for very different reasons than these UU members have. I am trying to live a simpler life so that I can be closer to those things not of this world. Lots of possessions tie us down to this world. I am trying to keep my eyes on heaven (Mary) even as I have worldly cares (Martha).

Why GATHER at a Big Church?- 7 QuickTakes

2011-10-21T01:00:00.000-07:00

1. Introverts unite! In a large parish, you can be at Mass and never have to look at anyone. No one will notice if you don't go to coffee and donuts. No one needs to know your name. No one will know if you are a little late or leave early (at least they won't be able to identify you). The 'kiss of peace' is the one difficulty here for the truly introverted; you could look in your purse for a tissue or be flipping through the songbook so you can avoid making eye contact with a fellow parishioner.

2. Choose your own adventure! Do you like 'folk' music (meaning music written in the 70s and 80s by Dan Schutte)? The 9 o'clock is for you! Or perhaps you would like a real four-part choir with a smattering of Latin. Try the 11 o'clock. Maybe you just want some peace and quiet. The 6:30 AM is just right. No choir is going to get ready to sing at that time! Or if you are really particular, find the next nearest large parish and you might find the music/priest/people/statues more to your liking.

3. Don't see Father sweat. A family, having been visitors/parishioners weekly for over a year, decided to go back to their large parish with the words, "I want to be at a church where I'm not close enough to see Father sweat." So now they are one family out of 15,000 and the pastor doesn't know if they are there or not. See #1.

4. Get really involved. Don't step on anyone's toes and take over 'their' job, but you can volunteer to be a part of many, many activities. You might even get paid.

5. Don't be involved at all. Don't worry, if you don't volunteer to help or be in charge of the youth group or catechism or coffee hour or sewing circle or bell ringers or altar society or financial advisory committee, someone else will. And, sorry to say, even if you have been choir director or flower arranger or sacristan for years, in a large parish they can find someone to take over those roles as well. Perhaps this is sad, but it gives freedom knowing you don't have to do anything for the parish to survive. If it is big enough, enough people will be interested and able to pick up the slack if you don't want to.

6. Come to a Third Place- there are enough activities besides Liturgy at a large parish to rival a Protestant 'Mega-Church'

7. Last Chance Mass. A large parish usually has a seven o'clock Mass on Sunday evening. Yes, maybe it is in Spanish or Vietnamese or Tagalog, but it will fulfill your obligation. Just remember to set your alarm next Sunday.

For the sake of this blog post, I am generalizing that a 'large Catholic parish' has at least 200 families attending Sunday Mass weekly and this hypothetical parish is no more than a thirty- minute drive to another Catholic church. 200 is probably small for most Catholic readers. The Roman-rite parish closest to me has 15,000 registered families; it is what it is...this post is just my opinion & yes, I know I am generalizing...

Dear reader, you probably have surmised that you will receive none of these benefits if you visit or are a parishioner at one of our Byzantine Catholic missions. You will, however, have a priest who will drive six hours after hospital work on Friday to perform an out-of-town baptism early Saturday morning and be home in time for Saturday Vigil. He will bring some of his kids, though, so that they won't lose too much family-time.

edit: here's a link from another Byzantine Catholic mom you might enjoy- she's an iconographer

find many more 'quick takes' at conversiondiary.com